 |
| relaxed1 |
on Sat 22 Jan 11, 11:16 AM to relaxed1's blog.
It occurred to me recently how unwise it is to be dogmatic about what you want, unless it really is what you want. Putting down loads of irrelevant detail of things that, if you find 'the one' are better agreed between you seems counter-productive.
Sure, people want to have some idea of your domination style, likes and dislikes but, given the improbability of finding your 'perfect' match, does it really make sense to turn people off by putting things down that really aren't that essential to you? We all have preferences and even things that we like the idea of or might like to try, but if those are 'only' interests, rather than 'must haves', then it's better to explore those with someone rather than putting them on your profile where they appear to be essential.
I often find myself musing when corresponding with someone of things that I think would be humiliating or fun to do with/to that person – but that's just with one person, maybe not with someone else.
We all need to try to give an idea of who we are and I, in common with many people, have always found it difficult to write a profile that I am happy with. I've read some that I think “wow, that person has really encapsulated themselves well”, but I've probably read more that make me think “silly arse”.
It's a minefield, trying to put down enough to pique someone's interest without boring them witless with pointless drivel. I guess one solution is to find a profile that you admire and copy it – the style, rather than the content. I had my profile lifted verbatim by someone a while back; wholesale plagiarism is the last refuge of the terminally idle. Needless to say, as soon as I became aware of it, I rewrote my own.
| 22 Jan 11, 11:58 AM Scorpionic UK(BN), 6 yrs     |
Wise words, that man! "Know thyself!" | |
| 22 Jan 11, 12:22 PM Betony UK, 7 yrs |
I met up with someone on the basis of what was written on their profile about D/s. Having met up with him, I began to have doubts, based on the fact that what was written on his profile and what he was saying and doing just didn't add up. Just by total chance one day I found he had lifted every word on his profile from another person's comments on the web boards. He was asked to remove the passage of writing (by the original author)and did so, although I notice he still has a few words of wisdom on his profile that he's lifted from yet another person. The jury is out as to whether this is terminal idleness or is a way of hooking in subs when you haven't really got a clue what D/s means
'I'm somewhat contemptuously convinced that sentimentality is the refuge of those without genuine emotions' Nigella Lawson | |
| 22 Jan 11, 1:38 PM Mysubeyes 19 mths |
I find this area completely fascinating…. I read profiles oozing with confidence clear concise thinking about what the person wants or does not want from an encounter. Specific about the way they wish a sub to look, behave etc. But all I really see is words on a page. Until you actually meet that person and match the words to the voice, the look, the behaviour then they will remain just that words on a page I also read profiles where not much is said or given away and yet can end up having a fascinating conversation…….
On my own profile, there is one small piece about a part of a D/s relationship that means something to me and yet it can be read by others putting their own connotation on to it, which does not actually match my thoughts when I put it there
Meeting people and 'clicking' encompasses different elements of us and as in life it does not happen that frequently. I think by keeping the profile not too prescriptive about wants and needs etc. can open up all kinds of possibilities. It is just an introduction after all…..
As for using pieces from other people's profile…. Well that just goes to show me that the person is not an individual thinker and has no place in my world | |
| 22 Jan 11, 2:04 PM Manson UK(M), 2 yrs |
This reminds me I need to look at my profile. I try to keep it open, paradoxically that seems to put some people off - I'm very unconventional in a lot of ways, I don't do boxes and labels. So in not being arrogant and demanding I probably come across as "undominant" or something. I love the female profiles that state "must be 100% dom and 100% straight". Good luck with that, I believe everyone has at least .01% of their opposite in them somewhere...
As for correspondence that's where I seem to go wrong. Apart from a couple of lovely people on here I've developed friendships with, I rarely get to second memo stage. Or when I do, it's to be used for some kind of free therapy deal then dropped when there's a better opportunity Have considered deleting the profile, never mind re-thinking it, as it sometimes feels like I've exhausted all the remotely compatible people on the site... As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. - Goethe. |
mse x
