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| Mr_Bone |
It is with a certain amount of trepidation that I write these cringeworthily honest blogs, because something tells me they do me no favours, but at the same time I can see how they might somehow be of benefit to others, and if my words help one person to make any kind of sense of their own thoughts, desires or problems, or to feel less alone, then I feel my life has not been in vain.
Having said that, I mostly tend to feel that my life HAS been in vain and that the world would undoubtedly be a better place without me. Since 1999 I've tried killing myself a number of times, but I'm not very good at it. The problem is that all the methods I've tried have been decidedly non-violent: overdoses, suffocation by gas, and that old favourite, the alcohol enema. Fortunately - or unfortunately - such methods have little effect on me due, presumably, to the incredible amounts of drugs and drink I've imbibed over the years. Lived by the sword, dies by the sword might be the solution and I'm fairly sure that God isn't protecting me, yet I wouldn't completely dismiss the idea; a couple of years back it briefly occurred to me that I might be Christ reborn, but after doing extensive online research I discovered that I'm actually a fallen archangel, sent here to suffer a lifetime of torment and frustration for peeping up God's toga, or some other equally minor sexually-motivated misdemeanor. I can't actually remember what I did, but it can't have been anything too serious as I'm quite a nice bloke. At the very least I aspire to be one anyway. It might well take a nuclear strike to dislodge a bastard like me, so I guess you're stuck with me for the time being.
I often wish I was normal and nice instead of being interesting and horrible. Then I'd still be with Her instead of dreaming about Her every night...
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I've really got to get my arse into gear and do something pro-active. Even more pro-active than spilling my guts to friends and strangers alike and moaning about life and love... Like going to AntiChrist, maybe. I've got a couple of tickets, but it seems like quite a step when I think about it. Or setting up my own dungeon. I've got the space. Nice big empty room with a fireplace. I've got crucifixes and a spanking bench, a bondage table and all manner of other gear... Hmm. Build it and they will come?
AntiChrist isn't until March, so I've got a bit of breathing space, but there's also time to slip back into depression and we can't have that... That's why I need to pull out the proverbial and start doing stuff. I need to polish up the old skills and get a bit of practice in. Maybe take a few snaps with my new digital camera. It'll be a hoot. A blast. A sting. No more Lovey-Dovey. No strings attached. Mostly physical, somewhat medicinal. You'll have to handle it because I couldn't subject another poor woman to the trauma of getting close to me...
Talk soon.
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This blog was brought to you entirely without the aid of alcohol, although I may have smoked something slightly moody an hour or so before the writing.
Edited Thu 20 Jan 11, 2:11 AM by Mr_Bone
| 20 Jan 11, 2:18 AM missPowers UK(SE), 4 yrs |
I can't remember when last I read something so irreverently hilarious Please don't kill yourself completely but if this kind of prose is the fallout of your attempts, I'm not going to try and stop you - I'm just going to sit and wait in a morbidly sick fashion for your stories/weblogs/ruminations to tickle my brain
Happy Thursday?
a small piece of truth: I do not carry a sickle or scythe. I only wear a hooded black robe when it's cold. And I don't have those skull-like facial features you seem to enjoy pinning on me from a distance. You want to know what I truly look like? I'll help you out. Find yourself a mirror while I continue... | |
| 20 Jan 11, 5:30 AM MizzScarlett UK, 4 yrs  |
Unadulterated normal is over-rated. But, the truth of it is that you are probably all of those things, you're just in a bit of what my friend calls a 'bugger's muddle'. And it seems that you're on the way up and out of that. Keep tough. | |
| 20 Jan 11, 8:09 AM xXx_scarlet_xXx UK, 4 yrs |
..And the band played believe it if you like ha ha x
(º•.¸(¨*•.¸¸.•*¨)¸.•º) «.•°•. feleena .•°•.» (¸.•º(¸.•¨**¨•.¸)º•.¸) | |
| 20 Jan 11, 9:31 AM tallulahme UK, 2 yrs |
Great writing! Pro activity... Write a book, write your memoirs; puke all these ramblings/musings/memories onto paper and then market it. Even if it doesn't sell it will keep you out of mischief! T Do you have to be the ice queen intellectual or the slut whore? Isn't there some way to be both? - Susan Saranden | |
| 20 Jan 11, 10:24 AM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
The fact that you are still on this earth probably indicates that your number isn't up yet!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezzebelle/ | |
| 20 Jan 11, 10:39 AM Mr_Bone UK(CB), 6 yrs |
Oh Bollocks! I didn't get a number! Now I spose I'll have to go to the back of the fucking queue!!! XxX I've seen things people wouldn't believe - yet all such moments will be lost in time... Like tears in rain... | |
| 20 Jan 11, 7:13 PM abby1983 UK(KA), 7 yrs |
I think you probably stuck you number in your back pocket and you've stuck it through the washing machine!
Go get a new one, it will last longer than the first anyway Domestically challenged!! |
