Gender and Violence (7)

Reading this and the original thread on the UV group. I can somewhat understand a little of what you're thinking. However, and you know I'm not doing this to be mean looking at your post you said "I've always found it easier to be violent to a man than a girl" there you say man and girl, rather than man and woman, or male and female. So maybe you have a slight bit of protectiveness towards the female, thinking that we're somehow delicate and easily broken. Sure we may not be able to take the thrashing a man could but I know we won't break.

I know in my last relationship there was a time that he was unable to hurt me as soundly as he did when we first started seeing eachother because now he loved me and he didn't want to hurt me.

I did try and convince him that I wouldn't break and he knew me better than he thought he did, knew what my body was able to handle, sometimes better than I knew myself.

Once he was able to understand that he was able to return to his previous sadistic self because he knew it was what I wanted, and also what he wanted and that in a way his own fear and love for me was holding him back.

I'm submissive though. I don't switch and although I have Topped, it was under direction from a Dom/me and although I am able to come up with sadistic little ideas, they're usually ideas I want used on me rather than necessarily using on someone else.

I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

I used to have, or try to have, this discussion quite often when I was dating a vanilla. Take a scene of a man striking a woman in a vanilla relationship and it is clearly wrong. It turns my stomach and the man should be put away. Take a scene of a man striking a woman in a loving, supporting D/s S&M relationship, where the boundaries are understood and communicated and it is part of the makeup of the relationship, and it is a beautiful thing.

But, viewed from the outside, viewed from the eyes of a vanilla person, and they look identical.

I know I could never live in an abusive relationship. I also know, equally clearly, I could not live in a relationship where there was not a D/s S&M element. Nothing fucked up about it. Just normal.

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.
They say Pain is in the mind, as if you could discard your mind and be rid of the pain. I don't know about you, my mind is pretty integral to who I am.

I never claimed to be consistent! But you're probably right, and I don't know why. I've never had any issues referring to females by any term - frequently perhaps the more 'demeaning' the better - but to refer to a male as 'boy' feels different.

Maybe that's another topic for navel-gazing!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
"You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." - Sir Arnold Bax

That pretty much sums it up for me too. I know from other posts recently that some find the line between 'extreme' violence and abuse so blurred as to be non-existent. But within a loving relationship, that's just not the case.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
"You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." - Sir Arnold Bax

You know I wasn't saying it in a bad way. We've had the discussion on referring to female submissives as 'girls' and you know that to me it makes no difference but it was just funny to see it writte down. I don't know why it stood out to me. But made me think that in a way you feel more fatherly and protective towards females rather than to males. And also as penwiggle has mentioned, there's the whole domestic violence thing there probably in the back of your mind.

I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

But nor would you expect me to miss an opportunity to make you feel you might have insulted me.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
"You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." - Sir Arnold Bax

Bah! *puts relaxed1 on ignore*

*sulks and pouts* Meanie!

I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.