This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 7 Jan 11, 5:31 PM rubberesque UK(W), 5 yrs   |
I'm a major control freak but there is a very submissive side to me that I don't think I could ever completely give up. I've been in vanilla relationships in the past and enjoyed them greatly but I think I'd need someone with a natural Dominant air to them to even consider 'giving up' that side of my life.
Also saying that I'd still have to make them fully aware of that aspect of my life and try to convert them and turn them to the dark side. I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary. | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 5:31 PM bossy_bitch UK, 3 yrs |
I wouldn't go back - ever! It's my sexuality - not something I play at or view as a hobby. I denied myself sexual satisfaction for years. As a young woman I didn't know how to find anyone who was also kinky and in my middle years I put the well-being of my children above my own needs. I can't do anything about the waste of my best years - but I will ensure that I'll never again settle for less than I need.
"Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it” | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:14 PM Silver_sparkler UK(RH), 18 mths |
You can still be submissive in a vanilla relationship, the power exchange is just not as profound. For me, the satisfaction of a Ds partnership is the heightened intimacy and sexuality; as a natural manifest of the deeper connection. Masculinity and femininity are split wide open and embraced like nothing else, in this lifestyle - adore it. I don't think I could ever go back to not having all those special components. The only attraction back to vanilla is that I would do the whole children and similar age partner thing, which I know my mother would approve of! | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:27 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
^^ being in a D/s relationship is not incompatible with having children and/or having a similar aged partner!!! There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:29 PM Red_Nic UK(B), 3 yrs |
I seriously doubt that I could eliminate D/s from my life. Even in past vanilla relationships that had no kink involvement at all my mind was very much still thinking about things. It's part of me & I wouldn't know how to begin to make it go away even if I wanted to. Would I consider a non Ds relationship? Maybe, depending on the circumstances. They'd have to know about and accept everything and I'd need to be able to satisy the sub side of me outside the main relationship. | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:34 PM Shypeachybottom UK, 20 mths |
^^ agree with this. I have had vanilla relationships, but with hindsight, I can see that what was missing was precisely the D/s side of it (for me it is part of the relationship, 24/7, not just a bedroom/play thing). What I can't tell is whether I could be satisfied with just "a little bit" of D/s (as opposed to relaxed's "sizeable element of D/s")... but I don't think I could for the reasons which Silver_sparkler sets out below very eloquently - I would miss it too much, being submissive is just part of me and who I am.
There's a somebody i'm longing to see, i hope that he turns out to be, someone to watch over me | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:44 PM awkwardone UK(B), 4 yrs |
I don't think there was ever a 'the way it was' for me. I spent many years in a completely vanilla marriage in which I assumed a non-kink submissive role. It didn't work out. I always have other interests which demand far more of my time and attention, and once I've had my 'fix' for the week or whatever I can say 'fuck off I have my own life', but I have to keep coming back to my kink and expressing it. "There's one thing I should tell you, to which you must agree; that it's no use you playing doctor to my disease." Edited 7 Jan 11, 6:47 PM by awkwardone | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:45 PM yoda_dog UK(HP), 6 yrs |
That's right folks, if you try real hard at school, focus and get some confidence, you too could be more domly. After all, that's what we all really want, that's the best you can be in BDSM...
"Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time." Edited 7 Jan 11, 6:46 PM by yoda_dog | ||
| 7 Jan 11, 6:50 PM Silver_sparkler UK(RH), 18 mths |
I, that is me not thee.....grins...has come to the concluding decision that a baby in this dynamic will not be a natural inclusion and I cannot see it ever working. Secondly, my tendency to always fall for older men means that they are past that stage in their life and also it is selfish of me to put a child in the situation of having a more 'mature' father. This is only my thoughts and situation obviously, so don't confuse that with what is right for you. x
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| 7 Jan 11, 7:00 PM Xrampage UK(PR), 6 yrs |
Maybe through hypnosis! Being submissive doesn't necessarily mean you're weak or not in control of yourself! Personally, I'm submissive within the realms of BDSM (fantasy). Outside it, I'm an every day man and sometimes very assertive! Saying that, I am vulnerable to certain women that know how to push my buttons! Edited 7 Jan 11, 7:04 PM by Xrampage |
