O_and_P's profile . O_and_P's homepage . O_and_P group posts
 |
| mia |
on Tue 4 Jan 11, 6:51 PM to the O_and_P group.
From the manifesto:
| subject to the dominant's decisions |
| looked after |
| needs cannot be left unaddressed over time |
| responsibility, and in O&P this is a cardinal virtue of dominants and owners |
| do not presume, for instance, that submissives can still make decisions which are now in the hands of their dominant |
| under the authority of a responsible and competent dominant |
| a submissive who serves well is someone to be proud of. |
| not compromising one's self in the face of resistance from submissives |
My question is how much do you see your relationship as similar to a parent-child one? Do 'Daddy' or 'Mummy' type scenarios have any influence over the way you conduct your relationship?
I'm not just talking about age-play, although that could feature in your opinion on this. I'm also talking about the day-to-day interactions, the names you call each other, the affection you show each other or the reactions you have to each other at different times.
For example, although we don't age play, i do have times when i 'go little', which isn't a concious decision, but my voice gets really quiet and (to me) sounds really stupid/annoying little girl-esque. It's normally when he's hurt me in really touchy feely ways, or if he's being really affectionate.
I'm interested to know if this is similar with other relationships and especially if it works in a similar way in F/m relationships too. I'm also interested in people who do not identify with this at all and why or why not.
x
| 4 Jan 11, 8:02 PM successfu1 5 yrs |
In psychology there is a model that suggests human interactions occur in one of 3 modes - child to parent, adult to adult, parent to child. Ie that we are interacting in a pattern of engagement of being an equal, a cared for child or a child in an adult exchange. I think that most interactions between humans feature uneven, in acknowledged imbalances in power, here we seek to accentuate them and work within them intentionally. If a Dom has more power they have more decsion making rights and those are a key defining feature of adult interactions. Accordingly, yes, child like, parental and supportive behaviours are natural to anticipate.
In my personal experience I find a DLG aspect within a relationship provides a cathartic underpining of a care based dynamic in an otherwise uneven and sometimes tough interaction pattern of subservience. "Yes, but that's just not relevant.." |
| 5 Jan 11, 11:32 AM pinkylucy UK(M), 9 yrs     |
I am very aware of a parent/child vibe in my D/s relationships. In my previous relationship my Mistress was frequently taken to be my mother even though she was only 4 years older than me because of the way we interacted together. This led to some funny public incidences when we did show affection in a slightly more adult way!
I wondered how this would manifest this time round as my Dominant is younger than me and has quite a girlish child-like personality herself in many ways. I find with Hartless, that I feel more like a school girl than a daughter. The adult/child dynamic is getting stronger and stronger between us but it isn't as obviously parental. I think of her more as a young person with authority - so a new teacher, or perhaps the daughter of the Mistress of the house in an old fashioned set-up where the house has many servants, 'the young Miss', who must be obeyed regardless of her youth. Hartless recognised early on that a very effective way to discipline me is to treat me like a naughty child. I also feel the dynamic in the way we show affection. I don't like snogging, so kisses tend to be on the face but rarely on the mouth. When we cuddle I instinctively snuggle down into her and she puts her arms around me, so that I feel small and she feels protective. I quite often have the urge to run and throw myself on her in a gleeful hug much like a child might to a loved adult. The more the D/s progresses the more child like I feel, which is both exciting and frightening! "Don't Dream It - Be It" - The Rocky Horror Show 1973 |
| 20 Jan 11, 11:48 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
We don't do age play scenes as such but there are times when I call him "Daddy" and apparantly I talk in a little kind of way. I love the fact that our agegap perhaps exemplifies how he's older and wiser than me and there are so many times where he does things that make me feel looked after in a parental way...like tucking me into bed and helping me do stuff 
Yeah, love it It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice |
| 21 Jan 11, 7:59 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I like feeling looked after and that someone is a bit paternalistic. I never feel or think about being a little girl. I think I've felt about 40 in terms of responsibilty and maturity until I was 12. It took to my 40s in a sense to feel my real age. I wouldn't want to call someone daddy but I do like a man I look up to and respect and who in a sense looks after me and may be knows more. In terms of voices I don't think I'd put on a baby voice. I've a very broad range of several octaves of singing and I suppose speaking voice and it will change depending on my mood and to whom I'm speaking but it wouldn't probably even on principle do the Japanese things when apparently the women put on ridiculous high voices and I think I read they cannot even be taken seriously or understood. It's a strange practice. I might have remembered that wrong but might partly explain or result from their very sexist society. |
| 21 Jan 11, 8:12 PM mia UK(M), 4 yrs     |
Regarding the whole 'little' thing, including voice - it's not a concious decision to or not to on my part, it's something i can't help. Very odd, but seems to work and fit, so x If i'm wrong at least i don't matter. |
| 22 Jan 11, 12:19 AM Black0rchid UK, 2 yrs |
We don't do the age play thing, but when he calls me "Little girl" it goes through my system like a bolt of electricity and makes me want to cling on to him forever, I just can't help it, I don't even know why it affects me like that. Az me shloft mit hint, shtayt men oyf mit flay Edited 22 Jan 11, 12:20 AM by Black0rchid |
| 22 Jan 11, 3:59 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Even though not into age play I like being called little girl or good girl. They are both sexy in the right context. |
| 3 Feb 11, 11:24 AM Tattooed_Prince UK(E), 2 yrs  |
I have increasingly found our relationship becoming age-play related and not just with regards to actual play. We address each other in 'parental' terms regularly (the other week she had to check herself from calling out 'Daddy' in Tesco ) and this has become a natural extension of our feelings as time has gone by. I feel incredibly proud that she submits to me, that she trusts my guidance and judgement. Through her submission and trust I do gain an immense amount of inner strength, I literally find myself standing taller when she goes little and holds onto me. As I've mentioned elsewhere I look out for her in day-to-day ways as well (ie. reaching for her hand crossing the road). This is not because she needs her hand holding (she is a very strong woman to the outside world) but more because is has become natural for me to feel that level of protectiveness for her; I respond to her submission by nuturing and protecting in a parental way. Interestingly she will also respond in a manner similar to that of a sibling if I am tired or otherwise distracted. By this I mean there is a subconcious 'rebelling' against my dominance if I am perceived to weaken, in much the same way as children will 'push their luck' with parents if they are too tired to argue. Personally I find this aspect beneficial as it prevents me from taking things for granted, I can sense it happening and pull myself up rather than letting it descend into pointless arguing as has happened in previous vanilla relationships. I would say that the 'parental' side of our dynamic has come to be an integral part of how we interact and we are both happiest when it is in place, it facilitates the IE/O&P side of things for us in both sexual and day-to-day aspects. "Whatever you do is evil to somebody" |
