Posted by hailstone on Tue 28 Dec 10, 6:25 PM to hailstone's blog.
Today, a rare day off, I decided to cook for my daughter. (Yes it is unusual, I don't do cooking)
Lasagne looking good, and in the oven, kitchen tidy so I thought I'd watch some television which is also rare for me to do. Do you remember the day when you had 3 channels? You just pressed a button and the television came on..
So I'm sat with the remote trying to figure out why I have 999 channels and how the hell to decide which to watch, looking at the T.V magazine is no help because they don't list 999 channels and if they did it would take that long to read it, when you finally decide what to watch it would be over!
Then I heard it.
A tinny ring… bbrrrrrrrriiiinnnnnnnnggggggg, it went on and on and on and fekking on!
It was definitely louder in the kitchen than anywhere else, but there is nothing in there that makes that awful noise. I went through coat pockets, bags, drawers and cupboards looking for whatever was making that now crazy making sound.
Ah knickers to it I don't know what it is. So I went back to watching T.V, well when I say watching it, I was kind of flicking channels on and off. Did you know you can watch the same programme on about 14 channels? What's that about? I just don't understand this technology stuff.
Bbbbbbrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg. Yes you fucker I haven't forgot about you.
After about 40 minutes of this ringing, and me finally believing I have tinnitus, I decided to ring my girl child up.
Girl child, says I, there's bells in my ears in this house..
Mother, what are you talking about now? So I tells her all about this blasted ringing that is now driving me nuts, I explained in the kitchen it is louder.
'Go into the kitchen and let me hear' she says She then started to laugh. LOUDLY.
After explaining my uselessness at cooking and other things, she told me it was the timer on the cooker, and how to turn it off, she asked if I had burnt her tea, I hadn't!
Well how the hell was I supposed to know the cooker had bells on it?
I'm getting past this new fangled mangled technology stuff, I just want a simple life.
| 28 Dec 10, 6:38 PM Qwoins_calamity UK(S), 3 yrs   |
well ms hailstone . this new fangled stuff saved ya a fortune twas only a few weeks ago ya complained ya had a cold arse and needed a man, after offering me services ya declined again. what new fangled thingimebob did ya get instead of the said man????  Good girls blush during naughty scenes in the movies. Bad girls smile because they know they can do better. | |
| 28 Dec 10, 6:43 PM hailstone UK(HD), 9 yrs |
An electric blanket that has all sorts of fancy knobs on that i cant work, and i get a poached arse in the night now. Anyway you shurrup If you don't like my words, don't listen. | |
| 28 Dec 10, 6:44 PM Once_Upon_A_Time 17 mths |
Your cooker has bells on? Pull the other one!
Well done for tackling a scary new challenge | |
| 29 Dec 10, 3:00 PM hailstone UK(HD), 9 yrs |
Yes i'm so brave aren't i? It doesn't have bells, apparently its called a timer and my mum says she had one over 50 years! If you don't like my words, don't listen. | |
| 29 Dec 10, 4:58 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
Ohhhh this made me laugh so much! I also feel your pain with the electric blanket - I've fallen asleep with mine on more times than I'd admit to! Thank you for the giggles "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. | |
| 14 Jan 11, 7:23 AM dr_grey UK(WF), 4 yrs |
That had me laughing my socks off !!! Sean |
