This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Tue 21 Dec 10, 1:53 PM girl4sir 23 mths |
I've been on ic for a little while now and am starting to think I am one of a small minority who doesn't enjoy sm. Is this the case or are there dom/me's out there that can live without this in their relationship as long as the rest of the dynamic is in place? Be interesting to know what others have to say on this. | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 2:02 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs        |
Our relationship can go from week to week without sm play. But, every now and then I just have to hurt her, especially when something happens that makes me feel especially tender and loving. ETA: And, there is also the occassional need for dispute resolution by palm of hand: I can't imagine our dynamic without that. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) Edited 21 Dec 10, 2:05 PM by Belasarius | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 2:15 PM Lady_Lucan UK(L), 4 yrs |
I grow ever less interested in SM - certainly in any planned, formal sense. As my interest in scenes, props and toys has withered, my liking for breathplay, facesitting, watersports and fisting has increased. These acts now seem far more spontaneous and naturalistic expressions of D/s to me. That said, psychological control and the subjugation of another's desires have always been my primary motivation. IMO anything else is just decoration.
'Ey la'/Ela! (Delete as appropriate.) | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 2:21 PM Drakino UK, 21 mths |
I'm... almost the opposite. With my boy, the D/s is so entwined with the SM that we basically never do one without the other. But it's actually the D/s stuff I could live without, if I had to choose: I am first and foremost a masochist, then a sadistic domme, and then almost incidentally a sub to a select few.
“When Rabbit said, 'Honey or condensed milk with your bread?' he was so excited that he said, 'Both,' and then, so as not to seem greedy, he added, 'But don't bother about the bread, please.'” | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 2:58 PM MissLibertyDelacroix UK, 8 yrs  |
What is it you don't like about S&M? The reason I ask is because one person's view of S&M can be very different to another's and you haven't said why you don't enjoy it. I'm not trying to change your mind, just interested in hearing your views. Regards, Miss Liberty
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| 21 Dec 10, 3:02 PM mia  UK(M), 4 yrs     |
I think for many it could be perfectly reasonable to have a D/s relationship without the s&m. For me though, i need the s&m as much as i need attention, or sex, or D/s, or hugs... It's just something i crave in a relationship. x If i'm wrong at least i don't matter. | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 3:09 PM girl4sir 23 mths |
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| 21 Dec 10, 3:13 PM Graci_e UK, 5 yrs |
i've had D/s relationships without the s/m after being in my current relationship i couldnt again. For me the two are intertwined. Wwe don't play every day or indeed every week, and the D/s whilst always there isnt necessarily always obvious i mean in a vanilla house it's hard for it to be so. However i crave those sessions where Sire will tie me up and beat me and make me float...i need the release i get from pain and i couldnt give that up.
The pain can be any kind and it doesn't have to be -pain- i get the same release from knife play, needles and breath play albeit as a different sensation as i do from being tied up and whipped. There are days though where nothing other then some hard impact play will suffice | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 3:22 PM MissLibertyDelacroix UK, 8 yrs |
I wondered if emotional masochism might be more your thing Miss Liberty | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 3:26 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
It's whatever you want. I perhaps unfairly feel less keen on a man who is not at all sadistic and says yes he might be able to spank me if I wanted it. That feels completely wrong to me. I need to know he derives a bit of pleasure from pain (not that I'm in to too much pain). There are definitely dominant men out there who aren't into sadism/masochism and just, say, control. | |||
| 21 Dec 10, 3:39 PM cheekyandtrouble UK(SL), 2 yrs     |
for me it has to be the whole package as other wise for me there is no point at all |
