O_and_P's profile . O_and_P's homepage . O_and_P group posts
 |
| Bacchus_Plateaux |
on Fri 17 Dec 10, 11:34 PM to the O_and_P group.
i am on the verge of a new relationship, let me clarify first, i am slave to a Mistress who has intention of owning me once i prove myself.
i have only known the Mistress for about 3 months, so things have proceeded much quicker then i had anticipated and it has sort of court me off guard. The strength of my feelings and the totality of my wanting to serve have overwhelmed me.
i have come to some very strong realisations that have knocked my feet out from under me and left me with doubts about myself
i want to know if other slaves have been through the same thing. Is this normal for the begginings of this type of relationship? Will these feelings diminish over time?
Perhaps i should say what feelings i have. Well it is very difficult to put into words, but it is as though Her pleasure has become my entire world. i am only happy when i please Her, and yet i have my doubts because i find it difficult to cope with the strength and depth of these feelings. am i strong enough to cope? When i am with my Mistress i feel 'at home' like it was the place i was meant to be and when i am away from Her all i can think of is being with Her and serving Her.
Just so you are aware, my Mistress suggested i post this on here because she thought i may get some insight into what i am feeling and how to cope.
Be interested in what others have to say.
cheers
b.p
| 18 Dec 10, 9:43 AM flamesdesire UK(OX), 4 yrs |
Firstly, I would like to say congratulations on your new relationship.
Yes I had doubts too and still do sometimes although. As I progressed into this lifestyle the doubts got less but have never completely gone away. Not that I doubt whether this lifestyle is for me or not, it certainly is, but my doubts are more my ability to do as my dominant wishes and my faith in myself.
Your doubts may well diminish over time, we are all individual and cope with things differently. Trust in your dominant though that they will know you and your skills and your abilities.
Yes you are strong enough to cope, believe in yourself. When having those doubts take time to write it out, read it through and look at it objectively, you may find that the doubt that you thought you had were unfounded when read back to yourself, you could also read them with your Mistress and talk through them, she may be able to put aside some of your doubts.
I know what that feels like....feeling at home with someone, hold onto that thought and use that to build the strength you need. Remember communication, communication, communication, talk with your Mistress, open a blog or write your doubts somewhere that you can go back to and read them to yourself and maybe somewhere she can read them too. Between you, you will work through what you need to and it will make you a stronger slave for her. Hope this helps, though it feels like a bit of a rambling. jxx Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to. | ||||||
| 18 Dec 10, 10:48 AM LadyAliana UK(B), 2 yrs |
Look at this relationship from the outside.
List everything you wanted or needed by being owned .
Then tick the boxes of those you already get.
If there is any remaining can these be introduced into the relationship,and if not can you cope without them. By doing this you will realise what you do actually have ,and you will have more confidence in going the next step. Wishing you both all the best . You have been so lucky to have the honour of serving such a lovely Mistress. | ||||||
| 18 Dec 10, 2:44 PM Bacchus_Plateaux UK(DY), 19 mths  |
Yes it certainly helps thanks. Just to know i am not the only one who has gone/is going through this is a comfort in itself. Although i am not new to this scene, my last relationship was not as total as this one is, and it has definately taken me by surprise. As you say, i have no doubts about my Mistress or being owned by Her at all, i could not be happier with that. My doubts are all centred on myself - on my ability to serve Her as She should be served, as you so rightly state, faith in myself. i find it very difficult to talk with my Mistress, not because She will not listen or help, quite the contrary, but it just feels so incosequential to bother her with this sort of thing, and also i get very tongue tied when i am with Her! i have found it easier to email my thoughts, as it also gives me time to read through them myself. My Mistress has been very helpful and patient with me. Although still very young, She is wise beyond Her years. yes J, it helps a lot, thanks!
Yes i am so lucky, and i know it. i feel like a cat who not only has the cheese, but has been locked in the warehouse!! i think that the fact such a young, beautiful, intelligent and experienced Mistress has found a use for me and wants to own me is part of my problem. i cannot see why someone of Her standing could possibly want a slave like me and i am insecure about what i can give Her, except myself of course. In time i hope these insecurities will go. Once i am more secure in our relationship and realise it is not as fragile as i perceive it to be, hopefully i shall feel more secure. One of my main worries is that this is all unreal. It has been my dream for so long i can't believe it is actually happening! Thank you both. | ||||||
| 18 Dec 10, 2:51 PM flamesdesire UK(OX), 4 yrs |
I too find it very hard to say what I need to when face to face with my dominant, it never quite seems to come out the way I want it too....but I know that I can get things out better when given the time to write them down jxx Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to. | ||||||
| 18 Dec 10, 11:29 PM Diablos_patience UK, 6 yrs |
Im sorry but i have to ask ... is this a professional relationship? ~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~ | ||||||
| 19 Dec 10, 8:57 AM Bacchus_Plateaux UK(DY), 19 mths |
No, it started off as one, but has developed further. b.p | ||||||
| 11 Apr 11, 1:17 PM kermit_the_tadpole UK(M), 2 yrs |
you lucky devil...your Mistress is stunning.. | ||||||
| 11 Apr 11, 4:29 PM Degenerate  UK(M), 5 yrs   |
Feelings of belonging can be totally overwhelming, especially the first time  You'll get used to it in time, as it becomes your normality, if you continue to think and take support when needed.
Sometimes the dominant is having corresponding feelings about the same things De.
Vote to repeal the kinky porn ban! http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/282427/ | ||||||
| 11 Apr 11, 9:22 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I don't know if you're living together yet, but I think just enjoy it. Make sure you don't take any foolish decisions though and protect things ilke your earning capacity and the like. |
