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| Wed 15 Dec 10, 7:41 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs  |
Other thread was full and it was interesting with lots of different views. | |
| 15 Dec 10, 8:30 PM CarolinaMoon IE, 5 yrs  |
I have just finished reading that. When we first met we shared the cost of everything equally. We lived 200 miles apart and took turns travelling. We either shared the cost of meals/days out etc or treated each other. Now I live with him and in moving to him my income has dropped almost 50% (but same kind of career with even more responsibility...). This means that by the time I pay for day to day expenses of rent/food/petrol etc there is nothing left over. Thats a shock in itself. Being reliant on him for any and all "treats" has been a shock to the system and not a pleasant one at that. Personally I have never expected or wanted a partner to pay for going out etc just because I bought a new outfit.
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| 15 Dec 10, 8:48 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
It does annoy me though that in so very many cases women shoot their careers to pieces and destroy their earning potential for men and men do that so very much less. Why didn't he move to where you are which some men do? | |
| 15 Dec 10, 8:59 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
I've just read the other thread. I was surprised that power over money is not used by more people in a D/s sense. Or if it is they don't wish to put their heads above the parapet, perhaps. In an ideal world, I would give everything I have to my Master, and be doled out whatever he considered appropriate. However, such practical matters as keeping a roof over my children's heads intervene. (Also he has no idea how much it takes to keep me in make-up and nice haircuts!) He owns me, and therefore surely has the right to make such financial demands on me as he sees fit? He is demanding financially at times, and I at first found it difficult to cope with and worried about it. Now I embrace it as part of my service. I don't discuss it much because many find it exploitative, which it absolutely isn't; it is simply a function of his control and my desire to give him everything I am and have. I drive him all over the north of England, and he has never once offered me so much as a farthing in petrol money; in fact he claims for the mileage himself if it is a work trip. I expect nothing less. It is difficult to explain how it works if it doesn't feature as part of your dynamic. It works for me, though and reinforces my slavery. Sometimes I think it's just an intense expression of love on my part. There's a bigger D/s issue though, I suspect.
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| 15 Dec 10, 9:15 PM Dil_se 19 mths |
In response to this cut & pasted post from Cyber kitten87 I was using something I'd read regarding someone I have no idea about to illustrate my feelings that it seemed unfair and not something I like- ME no one else. *So this person you know nothing about may not have a problem with this and it's not your personal situation like the OP reads as... Ok...* where did I say she had a problem with it? I merely said I did. I was trying to point out that there are a lot of unnoticed expenditure on a womans part. *What about unseen expenditure on the man's part? Suit, equipment, aftershave and grooming, travel?* As I pointed out-unless he's severely metrosexual it's unlikely to be equivalent I was trying to point out that this is not fair IMO. I was trying to point out that, in part, submission makes ME feel feminine. *Submission is >letting< him pay... Expecting him to pay is something entirely different... * where did I say I expected him to do anything? Taste Edited 15 Dec 10, 9:18 PM by Dil_se | |
| 15 Dec 10, 9:26 PM CuteCorporal UK, 24 mths |
I just got confused when originally I read it as *your* problem within *your* D/s dynamic and so replied with thoughts on such, ie chat to eachother, then you said it was about someone you knew nothing about, the posts are misconstruing me... A man doesn't need to be severely metrosexual to spend a lot on grooming himself and appearing well kept... Taste religion, lick a witch! | |
| 15 Dec 10, 9:28 PM CuteCorporal UK, 24 mths |
My whole point was: It's good to be equal in this world, work it out with the applicable partner if you don't feel it is. Taste religion, lick a witch! | |
| 15 Dec 10, 9:34 PM CarolinaMoon IE, 5 yrs |
In our case:
I am from the south of Ireland and deserted the sinking ship Also, my career doesn't require me to get a qualification specific to the country that I live in unlike my partner's profession. It simply made more sense in our case. | |
| 15 Dec 10, 10:01 PM reacher UK, 17 mths |
In my last relationship everything was shared 50 50 although treats (whether for self or another) were bought out of personal savings, whatever was left after all bills were shared. (Although initially I put a lot more in buying the house etc, which regrettably she now has and incurred the loss on a hugely inappropriate car). Now that I have kids and a lot more outgoings I am much more careful of how I spend. On a first date I would expect to pay, offering is nice. Afterwards if it was going somewhere I would expect some sort of equality. Once the relationship was on a longer term basis it would depend on individual needs e.g. if she earned a wage with no commitments, I would expect to control it. However, if she had her own business I would leave that to her. I don't buy this argument that because a woman has to look pretty it costs. Costs me a bloody fortune too in shirts, coats etc.
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| 15 Dec 10, 10:38 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I don't think most people thought much of that argument either - if you compare the costs of some stockings and even a bikini wax to the school fees or large mortgages some of us pay it's neither here nor there what you spend on your make up really but it's very important people talk about these things in relationships as so many founder because they have very different expectations.
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| 16 Dec 10, 7:19 AM Norfolk_Turkey UK(NR), 19 mths |
I have to agree, the original thread is fascinating. All life is there. The perfect illustration of how to escalate a discussion point into world war three (or in this case, handbags at 20 paces) To respond to the original question – who pays for a meal out? Well, call me old fashioned, call me a gentleman…..but I believe I know how to treat a lady. I will pay. After all, two cheesburgers and a shared coke won't break the bank. We can flip a coin to see who pays for the McFlurries. There. The art of compromise. Problem solved. Let peace reign :o) |
