This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Sat 4 Dec 10, 4:57 PM Cinnamon_Tart UK(S), 8 yrs   |
Because.... We *ALL* have different relationships!! ALL GOOD relationships are founded on some pretty simple principles, which I think SinPar illustrated perfectly. It is just that Ds ones organise interactions in slightly different ways. The principles are the same, to my mind, for a GOOD relationship. We do it differently, because we want the differences.
Hole Parity! | ||||||
| 4 Dec 10, 5:03 PM Cinnamon_Tart UK(S), 8 yrs |
Perhonen, My apologies. Your thread was rather derailed at points by the disagreement between myself and Captain_Sensible. I wanted to carry it on to address the last discussion point between C_S and Sinpar. But i think this point, about the nature of people/relationships, is fundamental. Those who think that by virtue of your relationship being Ds, you have some holy grail/achieved aspiration as to how it will look or be, or how you will feel, i say: grow up. It ain't gonna be magic, or easier or better than a non Ds one. Not if you don't work at it being good, and if you think going Ds, being Ds will do that for you, you will be perrenially disappointed. (Not aimed at you, just i get so fed up of this "Ds is soooo different, so much better" attitude. It really isn't.)
In my opinion. (can you tell i have lots of these?
Hole Parity! | ||||||
| 4 Dec 10, 8:04 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
If you are dominant or submissive or gay and you have a relationship which does not match your own sexuality (gay man tries to marry a wife etc) then it won't be a great relationship for you. If you're both vanilla it will be. I have never sought out a vanilla relationship and I think my marriage ended up like that so for me, because of my own nature, that wouldn't work. However had I been vanilla then matching with someone vanilla could be good. Once you match ilke with like the relationship will be easier for the couple than the "wrong" relationship for them with someone who doesn't have that sexuality. However if you are just comparing two vanilla or two D/s people or two gay people then their relationships will be no better or worse or easier to operate than the other. The only caveat I'd add I suppose is that if you are D/s then it can make decisiona little easier. I only really feel understood in a D/s relationship. With someone whose dominance matches my submission I don't really need to explain how I am or what I need as dominant men just seem to understand so to that extent it's simpler and if there are disagreements you know who takes the decisions. Some people of all types are awful to live with and others easy though and I am sure that aspect is the more important than what their sexuality is. Some couples of all kinds thrive on drama, fights, resolution and others not. I like calm. Now you can have either type of relationship in both vanilla and D/s relationships. | ||||||
| 4 Dec 10, 8:24 PM saraxx UK, 7 yrs |
That wasn't what I said. 'A woman, without her man, is nothing. Edited 4 Dec 10, 8:25 PM by saraxx | ||||||
| 4 Dec 10, 8:30 PM saraxx UK, 7 yrs |
How is what I said a generalisation? My observation came from my experience. Thankfully we are all different. 'A woman, without her man, is nothing. | ||||||
| 5 Dec 10, 12:04 PM ButterflyInChains UK(OX), 19 mths |
No worries, I think it had been quite 'derailed' before that point anyway | ||||||
| 5 Dec 10, 12:42 PM saraxx UK, 7 yrs |
It was a thought provoking post though, and generated some interesting discussion. 'A woman, without her man, is nothing. |
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