This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 14 Dec 10, 12:53 PM Bazinga_Punk UK(CM), 4 yrs  |
Honesty is the best policy, she might be a complete deviant too. Personally, I know what it its like to try and hide your kinky side from your partner, always hoping that she will get the hint, and get a little kinky without me having to ask, alas it never happened. Probably one of the reasons we split really. | |
| 14 Dec 10, 7:18 PM reacher UK, 17 mths |
Honesty is the best policy good luck | |
| 14 Dec 10, 10:20 PM nicad2 UK(PO), 5 yrs  |
You've made a start. Good move. Keep it going, maybe take her to the local munch, say you want to see what the other folk are like. If you haven't already been to a munch you will find a nice bunch of kinksters having a drink and probably talking about all sorts of vanilla stuff as well as kink, but one thing you can be sure of, they will be having fun! And fun is infectious! She needs to understand your needs, so tell her a bit more a bit at a time. She is already open to it, so you won't be going down a blind alley. Softly Softly catchie monky.
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David | |
| 14 Dec 10, 10:46 PM Selective UK(B), 4 yrs |
God's sakes you may be a sub but you don't have to be a tit. Just gently encroach it into the conversation, let her discuss her feelings with you. Don't wander downstairs wearing a gimpsuit shouting 'DOMINATE ME PLEASE MISTRESS'. Just slowly bring her around. At your age, with your supposed level of maturity surely you should have come across this sort of thing before. Stop being a wuss, be a man. You can be a man and still be a submissive, i'm fairly sure of it. What next, asking an online mistress for permission to tell her? Grow up, and deal with the situation as an adult. | |
| 4 Jan 11, 3:27 PM subbiegaj UK(BA), 5 yrs |
Thanks to 99% of you!  UPDATE Still having massive urges for BDSM activities and trust me i have tried and tried to coax her into it slowly but i can't see it progressing any further. I love her and don't want to hurt her, i love BDSM activites and don't want to miss out on it.... I am at wits end......feel free to call me a wimp but when someone elses feelings are involved it's difficult Any advice helpful Hope you all had a nice Christmas x | |
| 4 Jan 11, 5:32 PM Lj_switch UK, 3 yrs   |
Reading this thread, and your earlier one in May, I have to ask a question. Have you actually done any BDSM scenes in the last year ? This isn't meant to be a cruel jibe at your expense, and I hope no-one tries to make it that. Why do I ask ? Because if you have never actually experienced it, how do you know it will live up to the fantasies? If it doesn't, then you are potentially prejudicing your relationship for no good reason. And if it does meet a deepfelt need, then your only course of action is to make that clear to your fiancee.
The quickest and probably safest way would be to visit a ProDomme, explaining your situation and desires. And no, I'm not speaking from experience, even though I know a few
be a switch, double your fun Edited 4 Jan 11, 6:07 PM by Lj_switch | |
| 4 Jan 11, 5:37 PM Curious_II 3 yrs |
I was with my last wife for a very long time and wanted to do so many things in the bedroom with her, but she just wasn't interested. I just got on with my life and accepted my lot. For other reasons, our relationship ended and I later found the fantastic lady I am with now. I have experienced things with her (in and out of the bedroom) that I would never have experienced in my previous relationship and continue to do so. I wasted so many years. If you are happy to accept your lot, just get on with it otherwise be honest to yourself and her. Make a decision, steeling your girls future is unfair. Edited 4 Jan 11, 5:40 PM by Curious_II | |
| 6 Jan 11, 11:23 PM Content74 UK(E), 20 mths |
Reading your initial post and all the follow ups brought back all the thoughts i had when I was in a relationshsip. the kinky thoughts would not go away. I could often put them to the back of my mind but they would pop back. I wondered if supressing them would make me depressed or somehow return to haunt me at a later stage (ie if married). I worried that I was not being truthful to myself or my g/f. However I did tell her all about my desires in the end and bless her she tried to please me but her heart was not in it and I felt uncomtable expressing my deepest thoughts. Anyhow that relationship ended in the end. Partly for the lack of kink but also other reasons. I am now trying to get to grips with what I want and how to go about it. Anyhow the least you can do is discuss it with her. You are only being honest! | |
| 6 Jan 11, 11:26 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
You're only 26 so there's no rush and it might be best to postpone marrying as you own the house in your name and if things may not work out you'd be better unmarried with a girl friend than a wife. Your profile says MtoF so is that a sex change? | |
| 7 Jan 11, 12:46 AM bossy_bitch UK, 3 yrs |
You're only 26 - it's 2011 - you have the means of finding someone compatible for a complete relationship. If it's all you've ever fantasised about, you'll never be whole without it. Give her the 10k back and walk away.
"Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it” |
