Stockholm Syndrome. (51)

I was reading through this thread on Stockholm Syndrome earlier and it got me thinking about the potential emotional hangover following play.

I haven't posted this thread in order to start a discussion on whether not Stockholm Syndrome has a place in BDSM (I think that's more than covered in the original thread), although I can see how the comparisons could be made.

Really, I just wanted the pose the question of whether people have experienced emotions akin to those associated with Stockholm Syndrome after play.

I've found myself, particularly after playing hard, turning into a fairly embarrassing mush of a girl (previous pillow talk has included "can I cuddle up please; I'm coming over all Stockholmy") who craves nothing more than physical warmth, comfort and closeness to the one person who has inflicted whatever injuries and general cruelty that has occurred that night.

Personally speaking, it doesn't feel like aftercare as such - I don't want the person involved to go out of their way to make me feel better (e.g. brewing up, providing endless supplies of Dairy Milk); rather I want their sole reassurances that it'll be fine.

I appreciate that, after something fairly physically and mentally draining, there is possibly an inbuilt biological need to source comfort and warmth and a general reassurance that it's fine, don't worry. But I've found that not only do I need that, but it HAS to come from the person who inflicted it.

In a private scenario, largely that will naturally be the only person around. However, the question is still posed to those who may play publically or with more than one person at a time - can comfort come from those around you, or does it have to be the perpetrator?

In addition, the harder you play, do you feel a closer ongoing connection to the person you're with? Or can it do the opposite; their pushing you actually pushing you away?

"When you're going through hell, keep going."
- Winston Churchill.

Edited Sat 27 Nov 10, 11:47 PM by Dollface

Yes, definitely this. I feel absolutely connected in the strongest possible way when I'm just absolutely spent and beaten to a point beyond what I thought I could take. Always feel oddly close to him at those moments, and grateful, and in love.

And yes, I desperately need his reassurance, and to hold onto him, at those times. I'll manage without the chocolate, the special drinks, the cashmere blankie, thanks, but maybe an approving pat on the head, him calling me a good girl, and just clasping his hand tightly or burying my head in his tummy while I sob a little: That's all good.

I couldn't get that reassurance from someone else. That would be rubbish.

Oh wow - I can COMPLETELY emphasise with this.

For me it has to be the person I played with. I will at times literally throw myself at them - even knowing that being close means I'm more likely to have random acts of sadism inflicted on me, it's worth it to snuggle up close and somewhat ironically feel "safe" in their arms.

In terms of play levels, generally the harder the play, the more I need the feel of their arms around me, to snuggle into their chest and feel the reassuring warmth of their body next to mine. The harder the play, the more I need to know nothing has changed. There can come a point though where something is too much, and in those situations I find myself just wanting to get away. Although then I'll still cave into that feeling after a few minutes of "forced snuggling".

Very interesting OP.

XxX

Glad you posted this. It's incredibly reassuring.

Do not judge. For your prejudice is not the maker of a person.
LudiquePetiteChose

Totally get what you are saying, and the harder I've been pushed, the more physically clingy I become.

This.

Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please.

And this.

Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please.

I see it as well. Its more like mummy punishes then mummy comforts.

http://empressm7.uboot.com/ Vampire pro/lifestyle ts dom and switch. Age play mummy,medical play , domestic ,sexual energy and outdoor specialist. "Beyond the government,above the police ."

Maybe there is another question underlying this one; how did you feel before you played. Did you feel you "deserved" the punishment? Is that why some people "need" reassurance, or closeness after.

Personally I've never felt I "deserved" it; women are just Sadists!