This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Tue 16 Nov 10, 7:12 AM xDLPMx UK, 2 yrs |
deleted I don't want realism, I want magic! Edited Thu 1 Mar 12, 2:45 PM by xDLPMx | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 7:22 AM Lady_Lancashire 23 mths £ |
When topping I am judging a number of things, not just whether my partner feels that they can cope with more. The Red Rose Whispers Of Passion (J o'B R) | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 7:37 AM not_lost_still_lady UK(PE), 22 mths       |
If you have accepted them as your Dom then you have to accept their judgement too and if it really bothers you it is something that should be addressed but at a later date during a "no come back appraisal" time where you discuss the relationship in general rather than specifics. Signature removed to make room for .... | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 7:41 AM Lady_Lancashire 23 mths £ |
I'm saying that there may be factors he s considering unknown to you but communication is a great thing and perhaps you could ask and see where each of you is coming from? I enjoy seeing my partner submit to something nasty but I don't always carry through once I know he has tamed. The Red Rose Whispers Of Passion (J o'B R) | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 7:46 AM othyim NL, 3 yrs |
I totally get what you are saying, cause I have that little voice in my head too, sometimes. The feeling that somehow, I have disapointed. Not sure if it is myself or him that I've disappointed though. So maybe he wouldnt be proud if you ask for the rest, cause you are not disappointing him, but rather yourself. Edited to add: Doms have limits too. Power is about what you can control. Freedom is about what you can unleash. (Harriet Rubin) Edited 16 Nov 10, 7:47 AM by othyim | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 7:50 AM chastityslaveFE 2 yrs |
The problem is whether you are saying you could have done more just to please him, or whether there is a little part of you that actually wanted to take more, whether for issues of pride or to push yourself as a submissive. The problem being that if you then say 'I could have taken more' you are actually saying 'I want to take more' and then it becomes not just information, but topping from the bottom. If he thinks you have had enough, and he has had enough of punishing you, maybe be content with that? chastity xxx | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 7:51 AM tazallie UK, 2 yrs  |
We had a similiar situation awhile back. I have a very tender spot on the side of my thigh (very close to my bum) that is agony if hit. I was recieving 6 strokes of the belt as punishment when the end of the belt caught that spot. I was in agony, the pain was awful. But we were only on stroke 5 and he called a halt to number 6 based on my reaction. At first I was so relieved but then the guilt kicked in and I begged for the 6th stroke. He refused, I begged, he refused and told me that it is his responsibility to make sure I'm safe, that when my submissive side is in control so strongly sometimes my reasoning isn't the best. I was in no way in a position physically to receive 6 but my submission demanded I did. He was right, all I was focused on was pleasing him and taking my punishment. He was focused on my well being. As he said at the time giving me pain is one thing hurting me another and he won't hurt me. Its the same sometimes when I start to subspace and he calls a halt and I beg for more (sometimes he will oblige me and sometimes it's a final halt) I'm not able to judge sensibly, where as he is watching my body and reactions for the truth. Talk to him about it, sometimes they see something we don't or can't because of where we are mentally. Tazallie | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 8:02 AM Elvenkind 7 yrs |
Do you not have a safe word? If it was that painful, safeword.
Then discuss afterwards, communicate. Elvenkind xxx a 4 foot, 11 and 3/4 inch elf. | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 8:13 AM Kali_Ma UK(B), 5 yrs |
Sometimes a sub is so flooded with endorphins they think they can take more than they 'should'. It's for the Dominant to decide when enough is enough. Usually because they know you, know your reactions and know how you recover after ward. It seems to me to be more about needing to let go that last bit and submit totally - in the knowledge that your Dominant knows best and never to question it - than it is about pushing yourself. (the above is in the context of a long term involved relationship, not a casual play one) Kali x 'I heard she's a bit of a thug' Mister Bear | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 8:16 AM Beau_Tox UK(CB), 7 yrs |
I'm hearing the OP as a situation having been created. The dominant punishes the submissive to the point where they genuinely want to stop. So, did therefore read the *external* signals etc correctly. However, the OP's *internal* thoughts are exactly that - internal. Unless we're back to the recent dominants needing to be psychic thread (no linkie I'm afraid), then I think that the outcome of the scene is perfectly reasonable. But is it topping from your bottom to just say at some point later, "By the way, I think I could have taken the extra ten strokes. I know I wanted you to stop but I believe I could have taken the whole set." Is telling your dominant something that they may wish to know topping them? And correspondingly, is keeping potentially useful information from them submission? If you're not demanding the extra strokes, but just providing information, I don't see that there is any topping there. The only part I am questioning is whether the dominant had had enough of doing the punishing. The way to find that out is to ask the question about why they stopped short of the full number. Communication is no bad thing. Scum. Edited 16 Nov 10, 8:18 AM by Beau_Tox | ||
| 16 Nov 10, 8:19 AM lilybee  UK(TN), 5 yrs  |
This^^ Depending on your dynamic obviously. But in the whole he had his reasons for stopping and if it confuses you as to why then you need to talk with him. A situation for us, we had the last weekend arranged for a while, had been looking forward to it for ages, but it all went wrong on the Saturday and by Sunday my head was still not back into the right place. Started but soon realised it was going to go horribly wrong and He said we could stop. Felt guilty (still do) that I had let Him down but He was right and I know if I had continued He would have ended up mentally hurting me which is in no way good for Him either. As I got reminded by someone else yesterday Doms have feelings and restraints physically too, sometimes I think as subbies we forget that, thinking that the way to please is to take all the beatings we can. Imo it's not, the way to please is so that at the end of it all both sides feel happy and satisfied, regardless of how they got to that stage and not just because an agreed "tickbox" system was completed. Talk with him…
lily |
