26 Nov 10, 10:08 PM
MasterRonnie
UK(WC), 2 yrs
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Taintedinnocence, thank you for such lovely posts. |
27 Nov 10, 3:08 PM
Taintedinnocence
UK(S), 6 yrs
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MasterRonnie wrote:
Taintedinnocence, thank you for such lovely posts.
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awww, you are very welcome  |
27 Nov 10, 8:39 PM
ClassAct2005
UK(N), 7 yrs
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It depends what is meant by equality. I do think sub and dom are of equal value. It is just as great for a dom to find a good sub as it is vice versa. I also think people are entitled to equal rights under the law as I'm sure most people on here do, regardless of sex, colour etc. I also think with dominance and getting your way comes the responsibility for care for and take decisions in the best interests of both, not just one. That is equality and both feeling you are both worth as much as the other.
Tanos wrote:
ClassAct2005 wrote:
In some ways I'm must very conventional or my brand of D/s is more about mutuality, balance, dominant power only coming with lots of resonsibility on him; a kind of equity and I suspect most people on O&P and D/s relationships don't go in for that much at all
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We know what O&P's position is on this because we have the manifesto to point to: responsibility of dominants is stressed, but not equality. That's because the people looking for O&P don't want equal partnerships. Is that what you mean by "mutuality, balance, equity"?
:T:
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29 Nov 10, 1:02 PM
x_flaire_x
UK(OX), 10 yrs
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MasterRonnie wrote:
In fact I feel it would be a more binding form of enslavement if we weren't married.
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As someone who 'lived in sin' (what a glorious expression!) with their Dominant before 'tying the knot', my personal experience suggest the opposite point of view.
Sorry.
I gave up my name which, at the time, was a surprisingly significant event. I suppose I became 'of' his house. I was no longer the Miss or Ms Free-To-Do-As-She-Wished (double barrelled names are one thing, but sextuplet barrelled names are frankly ridiculous). I discovered that names are important not just from how the world regards you, but how you regard yourself. I wear a wedding band, nothing particularly unusual in that, yet for me it is that constant reminder - far more of a reminder than any collar* I've worn. I use my hands a lot and there it is, right now as I type, encircling my finger. I can't 'just' leave. Previously, and in prior relationships, there was always the option to walk out the door the moment things got a little tricky. There are consequences - such as divorce lawyers.
I honestly didn't think that marriage would alter the intensity of our D/s life, yet it did. I can only speak personally by saying that it made it deeper and more terrifyingly 'real'.
I know that my experiences of marriage are in 'reverse' to your own. You married first and then came later to D/s. So, I guess, the role of marriage would have a different function. He is the head of the household. I'm definitely not. The D/s was there and we formed our household around it - marriage 'entrenched' our roles.
f x
* Of course, collars do have a rather useful practical application!
Cookie Monster In Bondage!
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29 Nov 10, 1:14 PM
Taintedinnocence
UK(S), 6 yrs
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x_flaire_x wrote:
As someone who 'lived in sin' (what a glorious expression!) with their Dominant before 'tying the knot', my personal experience suggest the opposite point of view.
Sorry.
I gave up my name which, at the time, was a surprisingly significant event. I suppose I became 'of' his house. I was no longer the Miss or Ms Free-To-Do-As-She-Wished (double barrelled names are one thing, but sextuplet barrelled names are frankly ridiculous). I discovered that names are important not just from how the world regards you, but how you regard yourself. I wear a wedding band, nothing particularly unusual in that, yet for me it is that constant reminder - far more of a reminder than any collar* I've worn. I use my hands a lot and there it is, right now as I type, encircling my finger. I can't 'just' leave. Previously, and in prior relationships, there was always the option to walk out the door the moment things got a little tricky. There are consequences - such as divorce lawyers.
I honestly didn't think that marriage would alter the intensity of our D/s life, yet it did. I can only speak personally by saying that it made it deeper and more terrifyingly 'real'.
I know that my experiences of marriage are in 'reverse' to your own. You married first and then came later to D/s. So, I guess, the role of marriage would have a different function. He is the head of the household. I'm definitely not. The D/s was there and we formed our household around it - marriage 'entrenched' our roles.
f x
* Of course, collars do have a rather useful practical application!
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Thank you for such a beautiful description - I wholeheartedly agree - the name changing means a big deal, as does the public symbol of being "taken" and of course the "realness" of it |
29 Nov 10, 5:01 PM
tpeproperty
UK(SW), 4 yrs |
I guess yes can . Edited 12 Feb 11, 12:46 AM by tpeproperty
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29 Nov 10, 8:15 PM
ClassAct2005
UK(N), 7 yrs
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I felt the same when I married (and we were married for nearly 20 years). Even for me the giving up of my name was a submissive act, very very much for me given my views. Marriage is very sexy.
x_flaire_x wrote:
MasterRonnie wrote:
In fact I feel it would be a more binding form of enslavement if we weren't married.
|
As someone who 'lived in sin' (what a glorious expression!) with their Dominant before 'tying the knot', my personal experience suggest the opposite point of view.
Sorry.
I gave up my name which, at the time, was a surprisingly significant event. I suppose I became 'of' his house. I was no longer the Miss or Ms Free-To-Do-As-She-Wished (double barrelled names are one thing, but sextuplet barrelled names are frankly ridiculous). I discovered that names are important not just from how the world regards you, but how you regard yourself. I wear a wedding band, nothing particularly unusual in that, yet for me it is that constant reminder - far more of a reminder than any collar* I've worn. I use my hands a lot and there it is, right now as I type, encircling my finger. I can't 'just' leave. Previously, and in prior relationships, there was always the option to walk out the door the moment things got a little tricky. There are consequences - such as divorce lawyers.
I honestly didn't think that marriage would alter the intensity of our D/s life, yet it did. I can only speak personally by saying that it made it deeper and more terrifyingly 'real'.
I know that my experiences of marriage are in 'reverse' to your own. You married first and then came later to D/s. So, I guess, the role of marriage would have a different function. He is the head of the household. I'm definitely not. The D/s was there and we formed our household around it - marriage 'entrenched' our roles.
f x
* Of course, collars do have a rather useful practical application!
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