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| hollythedolly |
on Tue 2 Nov 10, 12:38 AM to the O_and_P group.
As the majority of people in my life know that i'm a submissive.
I was trying to explain to an acquantence my submissive nature and where i am the most happiest (it started out as a discussion on negative media attention on bdsm).
I touched briefly on the sexual nature of who i am, but tried to highlight o&p and the feeling of loss as a submissive when that feeling of not belonging. Also spoke of the day to day normality of a D/s relationship.
It was an enlightening experience for us both and he finally understood why i've been struggling to write something that was deep in my soul. I also took why vanilla's seem to think it's just kinky sex and his thought's on the subject.
Has anyone else had similar experiences.
| 3 Nov 10, 11:09 PM misunderstoodslave UK(OL), 2 yrs |
No one in my life, other than me and my Master, has the first clue that I'm submissive, and I need to keep it that way. But in general discussion about these things, yes, I'd say that most people don't get the control thing and the need for that feeling of belonging to, being owned by, the other. And if they do, they think it's the result of brain-washing, perhaps "battered women's syndrome," or some other abusive dynamic. Which in the context of my situation is quite hilarious. I don't think many people who know me in real life would see me as one of life's victims. Snort. |
| 22 Nov 10, 9:23 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I talked to a gay friend about it once but he wasn't as understanding as I'd hoped. I think he and many other can understand how spanking or being tied up is sexy but not the giving up of power to a dominant man; that's much harder to explain. He listened but I don't think he really could understand. It sounds like you did better. |
| 27 Nov 10, 11:05 PM hunny6 UK(W), 18 mths £ |
I know what you mean, It is that lose of belonging, I hate this feeling, I try to push it away, keep busy and not concentrate on it too much but its very hard at times.... I find it so easy to fall for someone thinking there what I want or need, or what I want them to be, and then they never are and Im left lost and feeling alone.... Im a switch and generally top, im assertive in my vanilla life but sooo seek someone i can be sub with too.... |
| 30 Nov 10, 7:26 PM Unicorn1990 18 mths |
i understand how you feel, it can be very difficult to talk to friends in a way that allows them to understand the non-sexual elements. my close friends all know that Master and i are 'kinky' - they see the collars and the whips and giggle and think that's that. i dont think they understand the complications of everything else. i am also a very outspoken and independent individual during most of my life, and still for some reason when my friends see me acquiesce to Master they seem to fear that there is some sort of abusive element to O/our relationship. i find it particularly hard since currently Master and i are living a long-distance(ish) relationship; i only get to see Him at weekends and during the week i really miss the D/s elements of the relationship. it's really hard to come home and not have that wonderful, comforting role to fall into. it's so much more than sex, and it frustrates me that so few people understand that.
i guess that's why i love IC so much owned by and collared to @Felix_Ingenium |
