Posted by pixie15_CJ_s
on Wed 3 Nov 04, 12:37 PM to pixie15_CJ_s's blog.
ok my ramblings to me far to many people think they want to be submissive .....verry differant from BEING submissive i have known from a very young age that i was a submissive and i have found the people in my life who are Doms very easerly but i have found in 38 yrs 3 true Doms whos collars i will wear it took months of talking and listening to find these three all of which i would happily submit to my first Dom died and that nearly killed me to if i haddnt been pregnant then i would of followed Him but i had His som to look after for Him {something im still doing 19 yrs later} my second Dom found my love of the first too hard maybe i was too emotional to commit again so i tried to loose myself in motherhood now i have my third Dom He knows who i am and what i am we talked a lot found out who we are and worked on the bond long before we got naked we stll try to understand who we are every day yes He is still at sea and yes i still miss Him every waking moment i was asked in one room if i played while CJ is away easy answer NO!!! i was told it would be understandable if i did......no it wouldnt ......the Dom/sub bond is total i am a brat ...yes i can be annoying ...yes but i cannot be unfaithful i cannot think of another man or Dom just because CJ isnt here...even though He has been away 77 days now and i still have 50 days to go it is a rest to find if we are compatable ...guess what? i will pass this test i read web logs from people hurling insults at ex Doms ....why? you both failed ...not one.......both why broadcast your failier to comunicate your needs to each other ...why loose your submissive side? its not pretty to see a sub bringing an ex Dom down ....its sad!! realise its a failing and not a sub thing to do if He asked you to do something you didnt like why not talk of it with Him even to say "ok im not as sub as i thought" is a good thing i can talk to CJ about anything , i can explain my problems with a task.....as if it can be re aranged yes He may say no this is how it is but at least i have shown Him my feelings with out a huge argument.........not a sub thing argueing submission is about growth .......bind the sub and free her spirit allow her to find her inner self yes i have spirit what would be the fun or Domming a door mat? but knowing where the line is would help so ask....... you may be suprised ok im going to stop rambling now have fun and be loved oww yes and come home Jerry sub misses you lots
Edited Wed 3 Nov 04, 12:57 PM by pixie15_CJ_s
