O_and_P's profile . O_and_P's homepage . O_and_P group posts
 |
| SirOpenSource |
on Mon 25 Oct 10, 11:36 PM to the O_and_P group.
This arises from an issue I raised in the 'Correction in front of others' thread by @Tanos. The question being Would you allow your submissive to be corrected/disciplined by another Dominant? What level of consent and responsibility is required for an action such as this and what are the problems it may create in the relationship?
SOS
Edited Tue 26 Oct 10, 10:10 AM by SirOpenSource
| 25 Oct 10, 11:45 PM successfu1 5 yrs |
This is a tricky one since it comes down to the degree of trust between the two Doms and indeed that of the sub. Whilst broadly speaking I would only anticipate a Dom being cautious in who he permitted to allow discipline on his behalf, different standards, rules and methods would be a risk to the sub so broadly speaking no. If however within certain instances where by unacceptable behaviour had been demonstrated to another Dom in my Doms presence, I could view it as acceptable if he delegated put that disciplining. If he wasn't present, ic the punishment exceeded the crime etc you get into complex territorary and without a guarentee that everyone interprets say, the O and P in the same way you could face a big problem. "Yes, but that's just not relevant.." | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 8:00 AM Sirebel UK, 5 yrs    |
I would happily hand over punishment to another Dom(me) but only in my presence and under my ultimate authority. I see no problems with this. I would hand her over completely to someone else under the right circumstances but always with the understanding that ultimate decisions are still mine. No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent. Abraham Lincoln | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 9:09 AM othyim NL, 3 yrs |
First, I would like to make a distinction between being corrected and being disciplined. Not the same thing to me. Under certain circumstances, I could imagine the first thing happening (for example when I'm called back upon anything I say, or not paying attention as a host, situations like that), but not the latter one. Also, to me, the question seems to have roots in play punishment fantasies. I simply cant see it happening within (my corner of) O@P. The paradox being, that exactly within an O&P relationship, theoretically, it *could* happen. Personally, I think being disciplined or punished by someone else would make me shut down completely. I would probably endure it, say the right things, react in an appropriate way, but it would be totally robotic. In my mind, it wouldnt be real. Cause it wasnt him, delivering it. My mind would simply refuse to accept it being delivered by extension. And also, cause, if he would feel the need to leave something as intrusive, intimate, personal and delicate as a real punishment (not play punishment) to somebody else, he would deny his responsibilities and show to totally misunderstand the depth of my submission. I cant say it would be a hard limit, but it would almost certainly be the end of the relationship. Power is about what you can control. Freedom is about what you can unleash. (Harriet Rubin) Edited 26 Oct 10, 9:19 AM by othyim | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 9:16 AM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs    |
I have actually allowed her to be spanked by someone else but, first, she'd been cheeky to the Domme concerned, second, the Domme is a chum, third it was play.
Those are the only circumstances in which i can envisage allowing someone to "play-punish" her (I might ask for assistance with a play flogging, etc Otherwise, i think @otyhim reflects my views on this precisely.
My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) Edited 26 Oct 10, 12:45 PM by Belasarius | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 9:28 AM TheFalconer UK(S), 6 yrs |
No. Never. @othyim covers some of the reasons why this would be a bad idea all round, but for me the more fundamental point is simply - why on earth would I ever want to consider doing so in the first place? I should probably clarify that point to say that I'm sure others would etc. and I'm not judging people for their different relationship styles and structures, it's just that from where I sit in my personal approach to D/s the idea is pretty much inconceivable. "Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 9:38 AM TheSilverFox  UK(GU), 2 yrs    |
Nay, nay and thrice nay... If there is punishment or chastisement to be administered then it would be by me... Play... under strict rules of engagement! "The art of being a Gentleman is knowing when not to be"
Quote:TheSilverFox - Circa 1986 | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 12:54 PM Miss_Poppins UK(RG), 2 yrs |
I think it depends on the reason for being punished and the severity of it. I wouldn't mind if he lets someone punish me for being cheeky to that particular person because in a way I might have asked for it. However that depends on what level of cheekiness my Dom finds acceptable (and me to be honest), not so much what the other person thinks. Everything that goes further than a little bit of spanking and moderate pain is a different matter. For example I don't appreciate to be caned by anyone - let alone by someone I'm not in love with. I can very easily get annoyed if people over-step my boundaries and while in a relationship I'd probably do almost anything, I'd do nothing for someone I don't love or at the very least deeply admire. This is probably more related to having become extremely sceptic in terms of playing with other people than to the punishment aspect. Nevertheless I'm only prepared to be punished out of love and if that happens through a third person it becomes a very sensitive issue. For that to work for me, I'd have to be very much aware of my partner's control over the sitation and see the third party as nothing more than an intermediary. Hab keine Angst, einen großen Schritt zu machen, wenn dies nötig ist. Ein Abgrund lässt sich nicht mit zwei kleinen Sprüngen überqueren (David Lloyd George). | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 1:14 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs |
Hmm, yes - that might work. I only think it might work because I'm prepared to see a third person used as a "sex toy" in other parts our relationship (with that person's clear understanding and lack of expectation, of course) and therefore it might be right to use a person as an instrument of correction. However, on thinking more about it - I can see that working in a play situation: I really would not want anyone other than myself to administer any real punishment that was required.
My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 1:20 PM Tanos UK(M), 14 yrs  |
I think it's a bit like the idea of correcting / punishing other people's children: it's crossing some kind of boundary, even if the parents are your friends. How does this sound though:
If the sub eats the cup cake, the friend doesn't do anything. When the Dom returns, what should the friend do? If asked directly, sure, the cup cake pilfering is revealed. But what if the sub puts the friend in an awkward position by just saying nothing? (Friend = close friend, not some random acquaintance from a munch.) :T: www.tanos.org.uk Edited 26 Oct 10, 3:45 PM by Tanos | ||
| 26 Oct 10, 1:34 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs |
My personal view: Close friend should, at most, privately urge sub to 'fess up (if sub doesn't do so before pressure is applied): Nobody likes a tell-tale Should sub fail to confess there is a basic weakness in the dynamic (that's my view) and whilst she might not be caught there and then, she will be - just as naughty children usually are.
My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) |
).