This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Sat 23 Oct 10, 1:25 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs     |
Daddy's just bought a little book, something to carry round and keep a list of my misdemeanour's and the allotted punishments. It's got me thinking about how I deal with punishments though, how I wriggle everything around in my mind a hundred times over. There's been quite a few things he's punished me for that I didn't agree with, and quite a few things I thought he probably should have punished me for but never did. I "get" that he's the Dom and he gets to make the choices, but unfortunately that doesn't stop me from having a mind and forming my own opinions.
I'm pretty bad for procrastinating, in fact I'd call it a specialist skill.... What I'm looking for is advice on how to deal with the fact that it irritates me. Do I simply put up and shut up and in essence train myself to be more submissive? Do I find alternate ways of looking at it? Do I question it and ask more from him? It's not exactly a major issue or anything, but it is something that I've been considering and don't seem to be any the wiser for my considerations. I'm hoping learning how others (from both sides of the coin) deal with this type of thing, will help me better find a way to understand it and strengthen our D/s side further. XxX | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:12 PM ThePhilanthropist 4 yrs  |
Hi, 
writting your blog is the first step towards finding a solution to your concern... Hopefully your Daddy will read it & you'll get some feedback from him in wich ever form he feels is right... Peace I'm only a filthy philanderer... | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:21 PM djin_bleu UK(NW), 5 yrs  |
oh god how i understand this! Sorry if certain people disagree but D/s for me in not simply 'do as i say', to me people who use that phrase would be better off playing board games instead of trying to take on something that cannot be done with a shitty get out clause like that. Pleased to meet you by the way, the Devil terms me as 'the one with the monkey on his back' and the divine ones don't tolerate me end of! In everyday life (vanilla or whatever) you seem to me like the person that when things don't add up you get agitated and act upon it, cos it's your right to, right? GOOD! cos thats me too, i find hypocrisy very very difficult to deal with, my 'genie' side (we all have one) says: 'wooooooow there PAL!, don't fucking tell me what to do when you can't even fucking well do it yourself you C**T!!!' except a little bit more ascerbic and with rage....for effect you understand. I too have serious issues and conflictions when i realise i am changing my whole being at the will of another and yet they don't seem or appear to me to be making the same monumental effort with me, you know when people say 'you can change' they're fucking WRONG!!! YOU DON'T CHANGE!!!! What happens instead is that you go through your own little personal HELL! You are asked with a little sentence like 'be a better sub, do this, gotta problem, just don't have them, there, hows that?', then you proceed to beat yourself up and question everything you do or have done which inturn makes you reflect upon the past in an entirely different way which again is absurd and wrong. No? Just me then.... The trick is to realise that your 'submissive' side is but that, one side of who you are, it is the side that can serve and be looked after and nurtured but it sure as hell aint the side of you who understands equality and morals. You are right to question your Dom in my own opinion because just as much as you are a 'product' of him/her and therefore reflect their personality, the same is true the other way round, why be all you can be for some muppet? (not that your Dom is btw!). The point i am making is that most of us feel this way over time but one thing to remember is that you should not look at it through the eyes of your 'genie' but of the submissive inside you that was attracted to this relationship in the first place, one thing that i am starting to learn although always knew is that trying to ease yourself into that co-operative mind set is paramount, there are many ways to do so thats why we invented rituals and ceremonies in all manner of situations, it helps us to get intouch with other sides of our personality.
*She who rides the Demon is afraid to dismount* ~* A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead *~ | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:36 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs |
Thanks - he's fabulous for talking to me, I couldn't ask for a man to do more for me in that respect. He also knows I'm the type of person who likes lots and lots of opinions, facts and thoughts in order to help me clarify everything in my mind. That said, I think too much, I analyse and puzzle and challenge everything. It's trying to learn how to turn that thinking around, or switch it off, or ignore it or whatever it takes! XxX | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:37 PM Princess_Rebecca UK(EN), 6 yrs |
You say you have an issue with procrastinating, and imply that his procrastination is annoying you. Here, then, as well as the physical punishment is more of a 'demonstration' of what annoyance your procrastinating may have been causing to others. Hopefully when you want to stall in future you'll remember how put out you were by this and think twice. Good alternative? Edited 23 Oct 10, 2:39 PM by Princess_Rebecca | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:39 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs |
Wow - I got a hell of a lot from that, it's reassuring to know others think the same, and I'm not simply a crap sub for having these thoughts. I know "the way I am" can be challenging. So learning how to work with that is really what I need to do to get the subbie me out more and more. XxX | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:44 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs |
In this case most of the procrastination was actually caused by my putting his needs first. By being there for him, rather than leaving him and finishing something off. His procrastination isn't there to teach me a lesson - he's pointed out life simply got in the way. Rationally there's no way to justify it. The thing is though, it isn't about rational, it isn't about fair, it's about learning how to accept his choices - with more grace than I currently manage. I don't like the fact I procrastinate - it isn't a nice trait, it's something I do want to change. Gosh this D/s stuff is SOOOO much more complicated than just doing as I was told - and I REALLY wish it wasn't! XxX | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:50 PM djin_bleu UK(NW), 5 yrs |
It's not complicated unless you try to rationalise it as we all do. The fact that you are showing concerns about how you feel is a great indicator that you are taking this very serious, a good start.
*She who rides the Demon is afraid to dismount* ~* A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead *~ | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 2:55 PM gestion UK(ST), 3 yrs |
no shit Sherlock
couldn't resist If you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all ... Thumper from Bambi but if you can't do anything nice you may as well be an evil little fucker ... Gestion Edited 23 Oct 10, 2:56 PM by gestion | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 3:04 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs |
It's a good job I don't have a book for you - you'd have filled it three months ago! Seriously though, I know what you're saying. Thanks hun. XxX | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 3:11 PM MisterBear UK(WA), 8 yrs  |
Wear a gag? Mister Bear: Been putting the cum in cucumber since 1986. |
For procrastinating on my hard limits list I was given 144 of "something" to be delivered. Now that's all well and good, he's helping me to become better and I adore that he does that for me and for us. What's "irritating" me is the fact that he himself has procrastinated on this punishment, for three entire months...
