This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board (moved from Other BDSM).
| Sat 23 Oct 10, 10:21 AM Lush_Life UK(NW), 2 yrs   |
Not a fight in the Harry Hill tradition, but questions/thoughts. If you receive payment for providing a physical domination service, is this the same as being a male prostitute / sex worker in real terms? I think if no sexual play takes place then it is not the same, even if both men are aware that the service is being provided to get one of them off. I am assuming the majority of customers are male, as I cannot see many women needing the services of a professional male dominant, for reasons of supply and demand. A question for female subs / bottoms - would you pay for it and if so how much ? If you are against the idea, why ?
"You might well think that; I couldn't possibly comment" | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 11:11 AM onetruekiss UK(SA), 3 yrs |
Interesting post, however I beg to differ on the females not needing to pay for male DOMs. I know ladies who work in the city in London, who have placed their career before a relationship, and children. They have a need to loose the control that they have in their normal daily lives so they do pay for the services of DOM. It is a transaction like any other where the client is paying for goods and/or services to meet a need and as long as that need is met then both have obtained what they wanted. I know that IC has many more men than ladies and I am sure that female subs are bombarded on a daily basis to have various liaisons, but we shouldn't mistake real DOMs for sexual predators on this site there is a world of difference. | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 11:15 AM successfu1 5 yrs |
This is an interesting one I've discussed with other subs before. We concluded that, was an instance of really decent quality Domination that payment would be worth since there is certainly quantity about but varied definitions of Dom complicate things. If however an individualised hypothetical compatible Dom appeared them they'd pay. Most wantedthe option to pay in kind however which could escape the issue. And got into a long debate on wether it would constitue topping from the bottom etc. I know one of them later did pay for such services. Personally I'm not sure I would, even when as stressed out as this. The magic of sponteaity wouldn't be present, I'm not sure it'd be emotionally satisfying and you wouldn't have the conviction, critically, that they WANTED what they were demanding or that it actuallly made them happy.
Additionally I know of only 2 such Pro Doms off the top of my head. One is known to be an unsafe player, the other is too much of a gentleman and treats girls better than that. "Yes, but that's just not relevant.." | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 11:20 AM Miss_Poppins UK(RG), 2 yrs |
I think it comes down to the same thing. A service that is provided for sexual gratification is "sex work". However I don't see anything wrong with it and I'm not opposed to the concept at all. I know a professional male dominant and I guess when the need would arise, I would pay him (or someone else who I believe is qualified) for his service. Obviously it would be completely different to submitting out of love to your own partner, but to satisfy any form of pain cravings, I'd do it. Can't tell how much exactly I'd pay for it, but I'd prefer a safe and well-planned experience twice a year over surprise meetings with random doms every other day. Hab keine Angst, einen großen Schritt zu machen, wenn dies nötig ist. Ein Abgrund lässt sich nicht mit zwei kleinen Sprüngen überqueren (David Lloyd George). | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 11:49 AM Diablos_patience UK, 6 yrs |
Yes i have paid for it... and it was an amazing experience too... and while yeah there may be plenty of male dominants around, those that are truely capable of getting in your head and fucking around while they are in there are few and far between.
Of coursei dont pay now but i wouldnt hesitates to go and see a pro Dom again if ever i should need that itch scratched... ~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~ | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 12:05 PM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
In 'real terms', not at all. "Well-behaved women rarely make history" | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 3:52 PM AlexCobra UK(WC), 6 yrs |
In real terms, absolutely not. Pro dommes do not generally consider themselves in the same profession as prostitutes and rightly too - more akin to massage and other therapists as it's their skills and actions which are the commodity, not their bodies. I have done a fair amount of professional whipping over the past few years but can't say I enjoyed it. It should be money for old rope, as 'twere, but the commercial aspect does add to the stress of dealing with a total stranger. The inevitable email from a client a few days later (once the endorphins have worn off) does give me a lot of job satisfaction though. As to male v female clients, I'd say roughly 2:1. The men are hard work in that what they email and what they mean are two separate things (nine out of ten times). The women are harder work in that they don't generally tell me anything - I have to find out for myself on the day. That, however, is one thing which keeps the whole thing alive for me. Most of my female clients have been the city type - know what they want, know the disappointments accrued from liaisons with those who can't deliver and are used to spending that kind of money on their hair. Yrs. &c., Edited 23 Oct 10, 3:53 PM by AlexCobra | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 6:58 PM LadyNightshade UK(RG), 20 mths £ |
It is true that most Dommes do not consider themselves to be prostitues, (and rightly so). However, most, I think, would agree they are sex workers. That's how the law regards Dommes anyway, regardless of whether it's accepted, or liked. As far as I am concerned "sex worker" and "prostitute" are two different things. Doms, like Dommes, in my view are sex workers but are not prostitutes. | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 7:01 PM LadyNightshade UK(RG), 20 mths £ |
That is a nail - head interface comment if ever I saw one! LOL | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 7:39 PM Carpathia 9 yrs |
Repeated for posterity, thanking Alex for articulating so succinctly and pefectly; something that so many (whatever their reasoning) fail to realise or are prepared to accept.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. Edited 23 Oct 10, 8:23 PM by Carpathia | ||
| 23 Oct 10, 8:48 PM Lady_Lancashire 23 mths £ |
I always feel quite guilty after a free service topping whether from a professional friend or other so I think I'd feel fine paying for it if it wasn't for the fact that I'd start pondering that I ought to save the money and do it myself .... The Red Rose Whispers Of Passion (J o'B R) |
