Pimped out paranoia (13)

The scene was a few weeks back, but i still have mixed feelings about it. It was my gift to Dom to find someone that he could sell me to, and i liked that i gave him something that he enjoyed and the first time He had done it. The dressing as told, being talked about and touched by another man in front of him was really rather surprisingly hot and disconcerting! Passing the money between them was a rather nice touch that i truly hated. The scene was a great success everyone enjoyed it. A nice mix of humiliation, use and feelings i don't know how to explain! i really did not expect to like it, but it was incredible and despite my doubts i did really enjoy it!

So what the problem then? Does anyone else ever have post scene paranoia? i get it so bad sometimes, was i Ok could i have done better and this particular scene really pushed my (rather pathetic) boundaries so captain paranoia had a field day. My Dom is great about it, this is not a sub/Dom problem, more of a question to find out if i am the only one here who suffers the occasional post scene paranoia?

Trouble is though those conversations always take place in my own head because (99% of the time) the only scenes I have also take place in my own head. So I'm angry at myself for pimping myself out to myself.

Oooo - you so should get out more dear!!!!

BTW. My apologies to the OP for spinning off and seemingly quaffing. That's ungentlemanly behaviour, in lieu of your situation.

Ha ha ha pimping yourself out in your head love it!! I did that for years too!

No not so much shame, more a worry that i could perform better, i think it reflects the high standards i have for myself in everyday life, but as i dont have control over the scene i have concerns that i did not meet expection, (even though my Domly one promisies i was fine).

like the GnT solution though!

To me one of the attractions of being a sub is that it frees from that kind of worry because somebody else would be doing it for me, letting me know whether I got it right or wrong. (Not that it would be his responsibility, but if he expressed an opinion one way or the other I would absolutely believe him.) Keeping that in mind, I wonder whether it would be possible to change your focus to this:

Handing over control and submitting to his desires leaves the mind to wander too freely on occasions. The need to be as close to his ideal of perfection as possible, needing and getting the reassurance but still not certain.

Learn to accept his assurances and then drop it - much easier to say than do.

Errr, what now?

It a great concept worth doing, hunt around there must be someone out there somewhere!! Dont give up..