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| Avada_Kedavra |
I really will never understand some people on this scene of ours...
I mean you spend ages trying to befriend someone, and maybe play with them once or twice, if you are so inclined.
You decide there is not a potential sub/Domme relationship, but remains as friends.
You find someone else, yet remain firm friends with the first one. Listen to their problems, and even put them up when their relationship breaks down.
Now here is the crux of the problem. They find a "Mistress". Mistress looks like Shrek and polices their every move online and in real life. Your "Friend" makes empty promises about coming to visit you, and makes excuses all the time. Contact with them gets less and less. Even online banter is policed, "Friend", asks to to moderate "YOUR" behaviour for fear of upsetting Mistress Shrek.
Mistress Shrek ceremoniously dumps them so fast their head spins. Next minute they are back together, her terms of course, he ignores you for nearly a year. Using depression as an excuse.
Shrek and him are through, he comes crawling back to you. He's missed you, he loves you, he sends you kisses and stupid things on FB.
You are naturally reticent and to be honest a good bit miffed ast being dumped then expected to drop everything and go and visit him. He even sends you a request to be highlighted in your network, which you decline.
This is a fairweather friend.
Things go ok for awhile. Then you don't hear from him as often.. Lo and behold another Fucking Shrek!
So, to save your sanity and spend time with friends and your partner who really loves you, you block this fucker and refuse to speak to him ever again...
And you will live happily ever after 
Edited Tue 19 Oct 10, 4:33 AM by Avada_Kedavra
| 19 Oct 10, 6:45 AM Mistress_Amethyst UK, 5 yrs   |
There is quite a few fair weather friends around I think! The worse are the one's that befriend someone just to go to a Wedding! xXAXx
~~If you don't like me it's your fault~~ |
| 19 Oct 10, 8:00 AM frederick_hende 20 mths  |
Such people are not really friends, in my opinion. As I hope to embark on a new relationship soon I do not expect to be asked to cut ties with Domme friends but even if I were I would do so cleanly. |
| 19 Oct 10, 8:20 AM Litany UK(E), 11 yrs |
I think its the nature of 'the scene' you get to know people on a very superficial level , some you can really befriend , but to be friends in 'real life' there has to be more than just BDSM. there has to be some eternal shared circumstance, I am not saying you cant develop beyond BDSM etc but there has to be something else... I have two very very good friends from the scene who I know beyond , but there are lot of people I respect but wouldnt call friend. James "Litany, a poncy show-off with wit, a camera, and his own teeth *swoon*"
Fen "You have some strange taste in music"
Me "If I didn't, I wouldn't be half as interesting" |
| 19 Oct 10, 9:37 AM lady_jadell UK(PR), 23 mths |
I agree completely i think the friendships on here tend to be only surface deep ( at least the ones I'm experiencing) and to form a true connection there needs to be something more then kink in common. However I have met some lovely people I would probably otherwise never have known. |
| 19 Oct 10, 12:55 PM Moonlit_P 5 yrs |
For some reason I seemed to have attracted more fairweather friends on IC than any other place.
She came, she saw, she laughed her head off. |
| 19 Oct 10, 2:01 PM Avada_Kedavra UK, 7 yrs |
I agree with what most of you have said, there has to be something else in common rather than just kink. Take Shamonu for example, we have loads in common, not just kink and she is one of my best mates ever. I'd do anything to help her and she for me. We have never fallen out when one of us is in a relationship. Our friendship is strong because of common grounds, and she doesn't expect me to roll over and die  M: Its only a baby needle, you wont know the difference. I am not a one dimensional needle obssessed domme... |
| 19 Oct 10, 2:42 PM Forsaken1 UK, 7 yrs |
Tell them to fuck off already!! sheesh your getting soft Joanie Resident play piercer at Velvet Eden |
| 19 Oct 10, 3:07 PM MissTee 5 yrs |
It is swings and roundabouts like life, I am glad I have met some of the folks I have, they have proved genuine,
probaly the sub male crew having let the side down the most, thankfully if your lucky you meet other subs who behave with a positive stance. Unfortunately the gossippy stuff is just not nice,useful for people who are not to peachy, but can be very damaging especially when they do not have all the information, and usually no one has all the information when a couple are involved. Shame folks have nothing better to do. Radishes what the f..k is that about? |
| 19 Oct 10, 4:20 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
I know what you mean. But referring to not one, but two partners as Shrek is possibly *not helpful* |
| 19 Oct 10, 4:51 PM Sissy_girl UK(M), 4 yrs    |
Sometimes being billie-no-mates has it's advantages  Cicely by name & sisserly by nature |
