This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 17 Oct 10, 5:20 PM versswitch UK(WA), 11 yrs  |
I have sympathy with the OP. And I think the community on IC tends to stick to the things it knows, so much so that it might not realise the barriers that are put up for others. It is likely to be the case that people who participate in the scene in a certain way see that as the way of participating in the scene! Equally they might not quite see how many people it is leaving on the sidelines. | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:20 PM Aleks83 UK(PR), 6 yrs  |
Everyone goes alone the first time to a munch, unless they are already in a relationship. I wouldn't count on using a club as a way to meet people at all really. The idea of a munch is you let the group know you will be coming on here, then will have a few familiar faces to introduce yourself to when you arrive. Then just get talking and mingle. It's scary sure but there are often a few in the same boat each week and I'm sure the organisers try to make you feel welcome. | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:21 PM randomme UK(N), 2 yrs |
Being honest and upfront is hard for many online... even after you chat for a bit and talk on the phone, so many Dommes like myself are cautious and take our time. I agree with the others, the best way is to meet at munches and cut out the nonsense of total anonymity. When there is that anonymity (and invisibility), people do very rude things and rarely apologize for it, as they dont see the other person as being "real" and worthwhile. | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:25 PM CuteCorporal UK, 24 mths |
I too wouldn't go to a club alone, but munches are friendly and welcoming! I was having a hard time trying to find what I was looking for, but by chance happened to get chatting to someone who sounds just right (meeting them Friday) because I was >reading and interacting< on the web-boards - it's a great way to make friends! Taste religion, lick a witch! | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:31 PM Sam333 20 mths |
on line is fine..face to face is reality,you cannot beat proper social skills | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:32 PM chrisco UK(HD), 2 yrs |
oh no i have never paid for it. what i was meaning is that so many Dommes on these site say they only wanna know you if your paying them. thats something i would never do. i want to know someone because we get on with each other, not interested in someone who only wants to know me for the money i would have to pay them. as for getting to know sub women. i have over the years spoke to many. but once again never met any of them from one reason or another. i would gladly meet a sub to go to events and clubs with. | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:34 PM randomme UK(N), 2 yrs |
Indeed, you cant! | |
| 17 Oct 10, 5:54 PM Made_in_Italy UK, 2 yrs  |
we all had to walk into a munch on our own the first time ... hard i know, but once you get the courage of doing that then you wil be able to make friends and have people to go to events with and meet dommes. I personally would not meet a man who has no network or able/ willing to go to events. too many fantasists/liers online (I know, have met few of them already!) You might have found some female scrounger who call themselves dommes and ask for financial support. do not think that's the rule, quite the opposite. Real pro domme are generally well known in the scene and very professional, should you or anybody else have a need for it. knowing people at munches might help you find out who's who and make the difference. I have met my current play partner at Chester munch and could not reccomend munches enough for beginners or people with limited social network. Over the past months have met a great number of fantastic people and made very good friends. Hope you will have a similar experience. good luck! | |
| 17 Oct 10, 6:01 PM Katalena UK(GL), 5 yrs |
With sweeping statements like that, yes I would imagine you do give out the wrong vibe. Bite the bullet and get out in the real world. There is so much more to this lifestyle than IC! Kat
Edited 17 Oct 10, 6:02 PM by Katalena | |
| 17 Oct 10, 6:02 PM MissKimberley NL, 8 yrs    |
It sounds a little like you're going into these conversations with a "what's in it for me" approach. That usually puts most women off, especially Dommes who have many, many offers to choose from. They're looking for someone special, someone that stands out from the crowd. Positive, well mannered gentlemen tend to be quite popular as are feisty, happy, naughty chappies with a little wild streak. The best way to meet people is not one to one meetings through the medium of internet, but to get out there in a social situation - clubs, pubs, munches, whatever. Websites can only help so much.
“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” - George Orwell |
