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| Corwin |
See John skip up the hallway to answer the door.
Can you skip?
John can.
John was wearing his black and yellow striped leggings, mauve suede shoes with pink ruffles and his favourite green satin shirt with orange cravat.
John opens the door.
Do you know what a look of stunned silence looks like?
The person stood at Janet and John's door does!
"Hello" said John, "are you doing twick or tweat drethed ath a nun?"
"No, I am Sister Sarah Samantha of the Seven Sisters of Supportive Sustainance, and I am here to collect Janet for the beetle drive"
Have you ever been afraid to speak?
John has.
John paused for a moment to call to Janet.
"Who is at the door John?" shouted Janet from the kitchen.
"It, erm, it ith the Nun from the convent to pick you up Janet"
Do you ever smile smugly?
John does, but not very often.
"oh excellent" said Janet as she put on her coat, "now its Halloween John, no answering the door while I am out because you forgot to get any sweets when you were at the shop and the children will do tricks on you, and you don't want that do you?"
"No, Janet, thertainly not!!" John said with wide eyed horror.
John decided to watch thrictly ...I mean Strictly Come Dancing while Janet was out and was just practicing his foxtrot in time to the music when the doorbell rang.
Do you know that it's wrong not to do as you're told?
John doesn't.
John danced to the door and opened it with a flourish to see Billy, Tommy and Jeff from the next street. They were at university.
Do you know what a university is?
John does, John knows that it is a place where people stay in bed until lunchtime before going out to get drunk.
John always wanted to go to university.
"Trick or Treat!!!!"
"Oh no, I haven't got any treats because I forgot to buy them" said John apologetically.
"You know what that means John, we have to play a trick on you now"
"Okay, but don't be too mean please or Janet will be very cross with me" said John.
"Don't worry John, We'll just squirt you with our water guns, they are filled with Vodka and Coke so you will get to have a little drink too"
The boys all laughed and John joined in.
They pumped up the water guns and aimed them at John.
"Right John, open wide and get ready"
John opened his mouth and they all fired a shot of drink into his mouth.
"Oh Gosh!" said John, "That tasted quite nice, I shall have to ask Janet if I can have this more often"
"You're such a good sport John, and if Janet won't let you, come to our place anytime and you can have some of ours"
With that the boys carried on up the road and John went back inside.
* * * * *
A few hours later Janet returned home from the beetle drive and called cheerily to John as she took her coat and scarf off.
"I'm home darling, did you have any problems?"
"Oh no Janet, It wath fine. I did forget what you thaid about anthwering the door though"
Do you know how to look afraid?
Janet does.
"It wath okay though, it wath jutht the univerthity boyth from the next thtreet. Becauth I didn't have any treatth they played a trick on me which wath very nithe."
"They thaid that they would have to thquirt into my mouth, so they all thtood round with their thingieth out and pointed them at my fayth, then they pumped and pumped them to build up the prethure and then each of them thyot a load into my mouth. It tathted very nithe and they thaid that becauthe I liked it I could go to theirs and have thome more any time I wanted to!"
Do you know how to strangle someone with a scarf?
Janet does.
Run John, run.
| 15 Oct 10, 5:24 PM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs       |
I've missed these, thank you for making me chuckle out loud - twice! Are there any more please? The nice lady with the whip. | |
| 15 Oct 10, 5:25 PM Corwin UK(L), 11 yrs |
Some more on the way shortly, once inspiration strikes!! Glad to raise a smile and chuckle! If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see | |
| 15 Oct 10, 5:34 PM jenevieve UK(CH), 4 yrs |
thanks for the chuckle | |
| 15 Oct 10, 5:51 PM madamsuzanne UK(KT), 9 yrs |
Brilliant just brilliant  | |
| 15 Oct 10, 5:59 PM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
Just brilliant! I do enjoy Janet and John so very much! http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezzebelle/ | |
| 15 Oct 10, 9:02 PM Lj_switch UK, 3 yrs |
Terry Wogan would be so proud ! just shown this to J, we are now crying with laughter, MORE SOON! be a switch, double your fun Edited 15 Oct 10, 9:10 PM by Lj_switch | |
| 15 Oct 10, 9:19 PM geoff917 UK(CO), 3 yrs |
I'll second that, miss them & Terry badly - lol "In order to finish first, you must first finish".....Roger Penske | |
| 16 Oct 10, 12:04 AM cuddlybeth UK, 6 yrs |
first time I have seen these more please | |
| 16 Oct 10, 1:29 AM foxycherry UK(SE), 2 yrs |
Really fab!! More, we cry!! | |
| 16 Oct 10, 6:50 AM andrewsean UK(CO), 5 yrs |
I have read all your previous ones and these stories are excellent, even went on the TOGS website and bought all the CD's they have produced for Children In Need as well. Excellent work my good man. If you're happy and you know it you ain't got altzheimers. |
