Crudeness. (3)

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poutanaki

Posted by poutanaki on Wed 13 Oct 10, 10:18 PM to poutanaki's blog.

I need.

I need to get fucked.

It really is a simple as that.

Well not so simple, because I could have it tomorrow if I'd just fuck anyone.

And boy, have I thought about just fucking anyone.

But I haven't, and I won't.

And now it's been 5 months.

5 long months.

And while I am almost certain that I have gone much longer before.

I don't remember it feeling quite like this.

Though I do remember that it has led to unwise unplanned couplings, that are best forgotten.

And will not be repeated.

I need.

I need to make peace with my celibacy.

Because I feel like I may actually cry from sheer relief when it is broken.

And that is really a little bit sad.

I need,

not just fucking I suppose,

but desire and passion.

To want someone so much that I can't stand it,

I want to fuck somebody because I want to fuck them, because I want to give myself to them on their terms…

rather than because I just want to get laid.

I need, I want, I ache.

But I wish I didn't.

Edited Wed 13 Oct 10, 10:25 PM by poutanaki

Replies

13 Oct 10, 11:07 PM
mistresstsjade
UK(LL), 20 mths
£

I can relate to these feelings, I think they have more power when put in a frank unambiguous way, the way we communicate it to ourselves when the drives that fuel and motivate our ego. drive us to those distracting circular rumminations..Whether this is fictional or a real experience I enjoyed reading it, thank you.

16 Oct 10, 2:45 AM
poutanaki
UK(M), 10 yrs

Thank you

No it wasn't fictional unfortunately :S

mistresstsjade wrote:
I can relate to these feelings, I think they have more power when put in a frank unambiguous way, the way we communicate it to ourselves when the drives that fuel and motivate our ego. drive us to those distracting circular rumminations..Whether this is fictional or a real experience I enjoyed reading it, thank you.

Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please.

16 Oct 10, 2:52 AM
poutanaki
UK(M), 10 yrs

Awww thank you.

Yes quality over quantity is important!

xXx_scarlet_xXx wrote:
It's been much, much longer for me. Many, many months more since I gave myself to any one for anything but I've always believed in quality over quantity.

When I give myself again, it will be right.

Be proud of yourself. Keep a hand on your tuppence until the time is right for you.

I've loved your writing ever since you came here. You express exact feelings that I can't.

Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please.