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| little_belle |
So, it's been about two months since I came completely off the old medication, and I have been waiting to settle down.
I do feel like I have evened out now, unfortunately to a base level of being pretty unhappy. I'm not sure I made the right decision, it wasn't really the best time to do this, but I worry that there is never a good time.
Normally a couple of times a day I feel like I want to cry - but I can't, and it drives me crazy. Things seem muted, which isn't surprising because most of the time I wake up in the morning to just wait until bed-time.
Anyway, what does happen is nasty little bursts of anger - sometimes during the day there'll be an overwhelming urge to doing something pointless and stupid like slam a door, smash the plate I'm holding, tear my hair out - yeah, I feel 15 again.
What's better - sadness, or anger?
| 13 Oct 10, 5:44 PM geek_love 2 yrs |
Be sad that you're angry or angry that you're sad, maybe the two will cancel each other out. Its so horrible but you can't just look away. It's like watching a monkey swallow a live hand grenade. | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 6:09 PM fellatrix UK, 2 yrs |
I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling 15 again. If you were prescribed anti-depressants as a teenager you'll have missed out on all that teenage angst. Maybe you just need to get it out of your system. I once threw a plate (complete with bacon and eggs) at my brother. It was very satisfying It's never going to be easy. The meds very possibly aren't completely out of your body, and I think you should expect it to take quite a time to adjust fully. | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 6:25 PM little_belle UK(E), 4 yrs  |
I was, but somehow managed to do the angsty thing anyway. I don't want to have to do it again! "I'm a right bitch, but if you want to get laid, you'll have to lump it." Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 6:59 PM subette 2 yrs |
 What makes you happy at the mo? Anythign at all? Can you up the quota of that in your life?? Or is it all much of a sameness? Subette 'What is more basic than the need to be known? It is the entirety of intimacy, the elixir of love, this knowing.' Audrey Niffenegger - Her Fearful Symmetry | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 7:02 PM fellatrix UK, 2 yrs |
Oh. that's rough. You probably just need time to work through it though. Are there some small things, tasks, activities that you can set yourself each day? Just so you have something to focus on and so you can feel you have achieved something each day. | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 7:15 PM little_belle UK(E), 4 yrs |
Yea there are things that make me feel happy and I would do them much more if I could but it's out of my hands. I feel like it would be better if I could find some sort of new routine or structure to my life so I don't end up sitting around miserable waiting for the next escape.
Yea "I'm a right bitch, but if you want to get laid, you'll have to lump it." Marilyn Monroe. Edited 13 Oct 10, 8:14 PM by little_belle | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 8:53 PM Grownup_Frankie UK, 4 yrs |
Well, we all know that little girls should be seen and not heard, (and they should be made of sugar and spice and all things nice) but perhaps not every little girl is destined to become sweet and gentle when they grow up. In fact - although there has been genaration upon generation of social engineering to this end - I'm not at all sure that should be any little girl's fate. We often judge ourselves too harshly, but its usually by another person's rulebook - I'd just let yourself be, if I were you, warts and all. Contrary to popular folklore, warts doesn't automatically make you a witch. | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 9:08 PM little_belle UK(E), 4 yrs |
Ahh but I'd so love to be sweet and gentle. It's probably quite bad to yearn for something so apparently contrary to my nature - when I tell the people that know me well that secretly I'd like to learn to be quiet, passive, sweet and submissive, they generally laugh.
*sigh* But that's for another day. "I'm a right bitch, but if you want to get laid, you'll have to lump it." Marilyn Monroe. Edited 13 Oct 10, 9:14 PM by little_belle | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 9:31 PM rosarose UK(SG), 3 yrs |
Well its prob good that you are feeling stuff, even if you don't really like it. Much better to express it (anger or sadness or happiness...) than suppress it. Have a hug lovely woman x | ||
| 13 Oct 10, 10:42 PM CaramelSauce UK(G), 23 mths |
Personally I would rather have the anger I have been having random crying and sadness episodes I would much rather go kick a tree than cry Swap? Lol Fly me to the moon, and let me play amongst the stars..... |
