This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 16 Oct 10, 10:30 AM boiata UK, 11 yrs  |
Yes, for me at least, submission is about service; caring and giving. It's about putting someone else first and making sure that their needs are met. I'm sure you will find it within yourself to do what is needed. Please add my best wishes to you both.
| |
| 16 Oct 10, 11:32 AM slave2ma UK, 5 yrs |
Thanks for all the advice both here and by memo. One has confirmed my thought to seek advice from her hospital support team. The most difficult part is facing the new challenge but not knowing how best to support Thanks again It's always the hangnails of life that drag you down | |
| 16 Oct 10, 11:33 AM ladybabe2 UK(SK), 6 yrs  |
Your already got the strength within you, unless your going to be a total shit and walk away and leave her then your strength is already there. Just take a step at a time, its amazing the capacity we have to protect and take care of those we love in there hour of need. Just when you think its too much pick up a phone ring a friend and sound off. You will at times feel that you can't cope, you may even feel angry at being put in that position but just accept that whatever you feel is normal and don't stress it, even the feeling that you can't cope/deal with it. If you love her it will just happen your protective and loving instincts will take over. You will feel frustration at the fact you can't make the pain go away, that you can't make it right for her but again talk to someone who is not as emotionally involved. This is where you show you love and support for your mistress, this is what being a sub is all about. You will learn how to take care of things and if unsure then ask for help. Hope that things resolve and that the outcome is what you both want. good luck to you both xxxxxx
Don't make them a priority, when they only make you an option... | |
| 16 Oct 10, 2:45 PM Lady_Em UK, 2 yrs |
I have had fairly dodgy health for the past 18 years and we managed to work round that until I was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer in January. I was lucky it was early and I am fine. BUT my pet came over all domly and it was like living with a caring, bolshy, whirlwind. I no longer was allowed to make decisions and he changed things to the way he thought was best rather than the way I liked them. You can and do support her with love but be very careful and ask her what she wants. If she feels too ill to make any decision you know her well enough to make the decision on her behalf..... not necessarily the one you would choose. It is the little things that matter most. Clean bedding and clothes, help washing and doing her hair. Little tasty nutritious meals. If she is anything like me she will get fed up asking for things. Try to anticipate what she is likely to need in the next hour and leave it handy for her. Remember pain and drugs and fear of the future can make people act out of character. She probably snaps at you in a crabby (not dommely) way and hasn't the energy to realise if she is being unfair or to apologise. WHEN you are both on the other side of this hard time go away together to a nice Dungeon like the Edge or the French Dungeon where you can resume your proper roles and find the balance in your relationship again. You are both in a very bleak place at the moment and having to assume a different role puts extra pressure on you, but you can, and will get through this together and our very best wishes are with you for a speedy solution and recovery. (Hugs) | |
| 16 Oct 10, 8:57 PM scarlettsamm UK(BL), 6 yrs |
wisedom ^ and Lady Stardust sang her songs, of..... | |
| 17 Oct 10, 8:51 AM SirJase 22 mths |
I can't believe the comments associating D/s with a serious illness.....forget bdsm, it has nothing to do with it, put it on the back burner, concentrate on being a decent bloke and supporting your lady, it irrelevant whether you were Dom or sub or slave or whatever, just do what youhave to do without even considering anything else. Above all good luck, sadly I've been in your situation, so I speak with experience sadly x | |
| 17 Oct 10, 10:00 AM SirJase 22 mths |
this is so so true, and it's amazing what us guys can learn in the face of adversity, even if we do peg out the washing all wrong, it's being supportive and being a help that counts! X | |
| 17 Oct 10, 7:45 PM MissKimberley NL, 8 yrs    |
Just do the best you can, be there for her; and if the world gets on top of you - rope in family, friends, nurses, social workers, whatever is necessary to get you feeling better and able to cope. The last thing she needs is to worry about whether *you* are coping: so be strong, confident and make sure you look after yourself as well as her. Good luck! “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” - George Orwell |
