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| The_Counsellor |
Change is a constant in life. We only have now, and now is always different than "before" was, and "then" will be. We human's though, because of our self consciousness, and ability to remember, and hope, find change difficult.
Loss is a form of change we all experience at some time. Small losses, and large life changing ones are common to us all. Think about the last time you lost something you valued. What did you experience? What happened within you as a result? How did you respond? Or perhaps you have lost someone you valued and loved ? That experience is a very profound one.
We respond with a process of bereavement to loss - shock, denial, anger, idealisation, resolution. What we often don't focus on, is the potential for shifting ourselves, and growing that can come as a result of this process. We can be tempered in the fire, and become sharper and better honed as a result.
Some times it's hard to keep moving after a big loss. You may get stuck. The blow seems too hard? You are just reeling under the blow? It's impossible to accept? You are so angry at the loss you can't let go and move on? You keep on thinking back to the good old days?
These experiences are common. It can take a long time to work through these powerful experiences. If you have been feeling some of these feelings repetitively for months or even years, however, you are stuck and may need help to get through.
Going over and over in a phase of loss can tear away at you. Take your time and be gentle with yourself. Also recognise when you are moving forward and when you are stuck.
You may feel all alone, that no one understands or wants to talk about it. This is not true! Some people will be afraid to share the grief but this is a common human experience and many people will respond with understanding. Talk! It's a really helpful way to process the strong feelings. If you are stuck ask for help! If you are very stuck get professional help. Ask your local hospice, talk to your GP, look up counsellors or bereavement counsellors in Google or yell.
Remember loss and grief is a universal experience. It's not just for bereavement. We grieve all our losses and it's the same process.
May all your grief be the doorway to new life and experience of growth and joy.
Edited Wed 6 Oct 10, 2:02 AM by The_Counsellor
