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| Degenerate |
on Tue 21 Sep 10, 10:01 AM to Degenerate's blog.
The seconds seem to tick away really slowly today. G was given the weekend home from hospital. As I type he's back in and currently under the knife for his brain biopsy. The next hour or so is going to be excruciatingly slow, so I'm here seeking frivolous distraction 
.
I'm hating not being with him but so very relieved JT is now there to care for him. I am not well enough to travel and today is a day for leaving him the space with his other partner, who only arrived in the UK two days ago.
I can't fully put into words how relieved and joyful I felt as soon as I knew he was in JT's arms. The weeks apart during this time of crisis have been so hard for her and for G too. She can now be with him 24/7 as she has no other distractions. This is just great and I feel slightly more relaxed at last about what is going on, just to know she will be there full time, where I cannot.
People ask often how polyamorous people navigate the day to day grind of life without distress and difficulty - without unpleasant unkind emotions taking over our hearts, minds or behaviour.
I cannot even understand the question really. For me it just poses another question:
How do monogamous people manage at a time like this?
It must be so hard to face things like this alone, or with extended family and friends - with nobody who has partner love for the person to share the load with? Nobody who feels the same, nobody who knows how it feels and is sharing your fears. Just someone who knows where you're at and has the same stake. JT and I support each other in a way nobody else can.
Apart from one hiccup a few years ago, rather than having competitive or combative feelings about each other, we are so glad of each other's relationship with G. We feel lucky to have another partner for him to rely on and how good this is for him. If apart, the only time we both worry less is when the other is there beside him - a person who loves him.
This is how I came to be in their lives, I hardly remember life without them. I was asked to look after this boy while his lady is abroad, and I will honorably stick to that promise until death do us all part - be that sooner or later.
The love of a partner is a different love to the love brought by others, it embraces us in a very special way - how lucky for any of us to have the privilege of experiencing this love, let alone the love of two to hold us safe.
Please keep G in your thoughts - friends of his can check here for an update later. We're hoping for some initial results today - we're all praying, or hoping for (respectively) the news that whatever these things are growing in his brain, he has a chance to try and fight them back with treatment.
He is a strong proud boy, full of the love of two ferocious passionate people. He belongs to us, and we won't be letting him go without a bloody brutal fight.
with love and lovingkindness to you all
De
(ETA - More accurately the question above should be "How would we manage if we weren't poly?" - I've not meant to imply polyamoury is better or the only way to manage something - have discussed this further on page 2, as I realise I've not put my point across well)
Edited Wed 22 Sep 10, 11:31 AM by Degenerate
| 21 Sep 10, 10:38 AM Lady_Lancashire 23 mths £ |
Lots of huge to G from Peccavi. Lovely post, De. x | |
| 21 Sep 10, 11:06 AM ladybabe2 UK(SK), 6 yrs  |
hugs xxxx Don't make them a priority, when they only make you an option... | |
| 21 Sep 10, 11:57 AM silent_lucidity UK(M), 4 yrs |
Sending all my best to you all. A beautiful post and a beautiful dynamic. cx | |
| 21 Sep 10, 1:15 PM Degenerate UK(M), 5 yrs   |
OK - JT just called. Gordon is finally out of theatre 2+ hours later than expected. He is in recovery smiling & chatting to the nurses and will be delivered back to JT on the ward after a CAT scan. Phew, that's the first bit over with. PLeaseeeeeeeeeeee universe, give us good news today. Vote to repeal the kinky porn ban! http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/282427/ | |
| 21 Sep 10, 1:17 PM Iphis_me UK(E), 4 yrs |
Good news - hope the rest of it goes ok. Much love xx "The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates | |
| 21 Sep 10, 1:54 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs    |
Thoughts and prayers with you all. All of my love Jules XxX | |
| 21 Sep 10, 3:15 PM rubesque UK, 4 yrs |
Thinking of you all De, Hoping you get the news you all want. Ruby xx He looked into My eyes, and I almost died. Then I remembered what I was and half killed him. | |
| 21 Sep 10, 5:03 PM Degenerate UK(M), 5 yrs |
Yay  G has escaped and is on his way home.. feeling bit dizzy but ok. The only news is what was presumed already - he has growing tumours which are probably some kind of cancer - now a 9 day wait for proper results and a meeting with an OncologistDe Vote to repeal the kinky porn ban! http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/282427/ | |
| 21 Sep 10, 8:12 PM subette 2 yrs |
I know what you mean. So many people can only see the negative connotations of 'sharing' and ignore the positives - the added support, the extra pair of hands, another sholder to lean on through the tough bits. Thinking of you all. Subette 'What is more basic than the need to be known? It is the entirety of intimacy, the elixir of love, this knowing.' Audrey Niffenegger - Her Fearful Symmetry | |
| 21 Sep 10, 9:07 PM spirifer UK, 6 yrs |
De, I think mono people cope just fine with such events. There doesn't have to be any sort of competition when loved ones are poorly. Love is great, whether it's shared between multiple partners or between a couple. Love gives succour, strength and support. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. S x Ah semen. What is it about that ridiculous white secretion that pulls down the corners of an Englishman's mouth? |
