This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 11 Sep 10, 2:45 AM betchy BR, 21 mths |
I too read it this way. For what it's worth, I've had partners like this in the past, and it hasn't clicked with me sexually even if they agree to give me what I want in the bedroom. The times when magic has happened is when someone is "naturally" dominant. I don't really know what this means about someone's personality, because outside of the bedroom I don't want someone to dominate me at all - if it's possible to draw such a clean line! If I've read this right and it's sex you are talking about, then it just depends on how important sex is to you. For me, it's very, so I didn't stay with the partners who didn't automatically have that special ingredient. | |
| 11 Sep 10, 7:32 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs  |
Doesn't work for me either. Although on paper it might sound easy to have a man who goes along with what you say, if you're submissive more generally than in bed you probably want someone who is the total opposite of that. So what can you do? If you really like him then you might just have to put up with it. or give him hints or ask him things. Start with something basic - should I wear the red or the blue dress tonight? Gradually he might take more decisions. I think the takeninhand web site has a lot of hints like that about how to encourage dominance in a man. I'm not hopeful because I think it's either there or it isn't rather than !all men are dom and just need it bringing out" but might be worth a try. | |
| 11 Sep 10, 8:22 AM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
I couldn't do that either. I've had boyfriends who tried to give me what I want by Dominating me, it just doesn't work. It's a relationship without a centre - you're trying to please them, they're trying to please you. What is real? Who is actually being pleased? It's like caning, they cane you because you want it, you start crying, they stop because they think you don't want it anymore, and you get frustrated because you actually wanted someone to carry on till they had done what they wanted. subbie xxx | |
| 11 Sep 10, 11:03 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Absolutely. It doesn't work at all. You can tell fairly quickly if someone is putting it on because they want you or like you or know you want it rather than because they have a huge internal need of their own to control and dominate.
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