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| wonderer |
on Fri 3 Sep 10, 10:07 AM to wonderer's blog.
Sometimes in life we find ourselves - perhaps almost by accident - finding a friendship with a special person, perhaps share some time together, build some kind of dialogue. And then for one reason or another, paths diverge, and one has to let go; with gratitude and affection, and a measure of regret too. But it's mature to be able to let go.
Someone I used to be closer to for a while; no longer in regular contact, but I occasionally notice her status updates. And it seemed things seemed to be working out well for her. Her feelings of lost-ness seemed to have departed. I was so pleased for her, though I felt it would be unhelpful to comment directly. She deserves good things. But now ... her status is suddenly ambiguous. I fear all may not be well, but hope I'm wrong. Life's ups and downs. We all have them. And for some strange reason we care about those we're close to and even those we're no longer so close to.
Such is life. Perhaps best wishes sent from afar can do no harm.
Edited Fri 3 Sep 10, 10:26 AM by wonderer
| 3 Sep 10, 11:11 AM Grownup_Frankie UK, 4 yrs |
Life is a long journey and people's paths criss cross and diverge - sometimes the hardest thing to do is to accept that its time to let go - or to accept that the time has already come and gone, and that we are not in someone's life anymore, not even remotely, we are too far out of their orbit to describe ourselves as close to them anymore. And in our hearts all that is left is to wish them well. So I shall join you wonderer, in raising a toast to absent friends, for I too have noticed some departures and absenses recently. Cheers.
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| 3 Sep 10, 11:23 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
Quite agree Frankie. And sometimes paths converge without getting intertwined, but there's still a regret when they diverge again, and a residual fondness and well-wishing, even if it can no longer be expressed. Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/ | |
| 4 Sep 10, 12:28 AM Grownup_Frankie UK, 4 yrs |
Oh, that does surprise me. I have met hundreds of people whom I have liked and respected and admired, and have come to a parting of the ways with. I see life as a journey through a large forest, where people's paths cross, where people share a path for a while, but where many of the people one meets will eventually turn off to continue upon their own, seperate path. Indeed, I have done the same. There has been no falling out, as such, it is merely life acting upon us, like a current, merely our chosen paths diverging and moving us away from one another. Hopefully, it is that our soul work has been completed, an exchange has taken place, and we must now be on our way again. It is not a truly sorrowful experience, especially if you can recognise the moment as being the right moment, and as it should be. I believe people come into our lives for a season or a reason, but few stay for life...'Always and forever' is a promise not to be made lightly. I've only made it to two people I have encountered in my journey of life - my wife, and De. What a lovely new photo, you look radiant in it Marquise. Though I must admit to a niggling curiosity about all those books behind you, the titles of which I cannot make out. Even though I have presed my nose up against the computer screen and squinted very hard...
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| 4 Sep 10, 7:42 PM NimueBanditQueen UK(MK), 2 yrs |
Interesting. My friends have courses that bring them near and far, yet near or far they are still and always my friends. Many times gaps of years have gone by as time and distance and circumstances come between us, and yet they will contact me out of the blue, or I will contact them and we are just as much friends, just as delighted to meet, share, talk, laugh, bask in friendship and mutual care. I thought that was the very definition of friends? Acquaintances come and go, lovers meet and part but friendship runs deeper than time can sunder. If I were you wonderer, and they were a friend, not merely an acquaintance or a former lover/play-partner but an actual *friend* I would memo and ask. If they are fine, they will tell you that and all is well. If they are not quite fine, they may be feeling less than able to reach out a hand to someone and ask for friendship. How will you know unless you try?
(YMMV and I am not responsible for any fallouts if you take my advice. | |
| 4 Sep 10, 8:12 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
Thanks for your thoughts 'nilla. I think there's a whole spectrum between acquaintances, friendships - of deep or causal varieties, temporary or long term, deep or superficial, brief fondnesses etc etc. Some things do have a natural lifetime and cycle though; some ebb and flow, some resume unexpectedly after a period of dormancy, sometimes it's best to let go. It's all good.  Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/ | |
| 4 Sep 10, 11:55 PM Grownup_Frankie UK, 4 yrs |
This has turned out to be an interesting little meditation. I'm beginning to think I'm a bit 'odd'. There seems to have been many chapters in my life, and characters to fill them, but none I return to. None I miss. AM I odd? AM I? Well, AM I? No no, don't anyone answer that. *smile* I've often felt a great...'relief', almost, I think - or a 'readiness', when leaving a whole chunk of my life behind, knowingly, feeling 'new' and unencumbered by the past. It would be a very crowded present otherwise.
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| 1 Oct 10, 8:27 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
Reading between the lines can lead to ambiguous impressions and error-prone interpretations. Sometimes things are better than they seem. Sometimes it's not for me to know. Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/ |
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