This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 8 Sep 10, 11:42 PM Cassius UK, 3 yrs   |
It is indeed about the control, and its flipside,and the more highly sexed the sub the greater the degree of control that has to be exercised. It enhances(for me)to deny myself whilst denying her, and challenging her to let her body defeat her mind,against my instructions : that is one scenario. There are others just as compelling but different.Does that help ? Practise senseless acts of beauty. Edited 8 Sep 10, 11:43 PM by Cassius | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 12:45 AM x_rubyrose_x 2 yrs |
For me, orgasm denial (*groan), sex ban (*double groan) and wank-to-the-edge-then-stop (*well that's just more groans) give me very VERY mixed vibes. Yes, i feel submissive, and that everything that comes from me (pardon the pun) are all controlled by my Dom, purely for His pleasure.
But, i have to say that the results do throw me into the moody and tearful camp
i always felt, at the outset of my discovery of being a submissive, that i would be used sexually anytime my Dom felt like using and taking of me....i didn't, however, throw orgasm/sex denial into the equation though, so although i submit to it (because i am a good girl), it doesn't give me the absolute submissive feeling that some of you subs have mentioned. Perphaps i will appreciate this in time "At times, it is strangely sedative to know the extent of your own powerlessness" ~ Erica Jong | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 6:47 AM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
I know exactly what you mean. Being denied orgasms makes me feel submissive, but being denied sex makes me feel rejected and unwanted and that he doesn't fancy me anymore. And expecially with the orgasm denial, I end up feeling sexless and bored, rather than brimming over. There's definitely something emotional about sex, even with an orgasm ban, that makes me feel happy in us and reassured. I think it's important, when a submissive is denied her own orgasms, to let her see that she's still a part of his orgasms and that she can still serve him in that way. I don't think I could do a sex ban, so well done to you if you're getting your head round it. subbie xxx | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 9:17 PM not_lost_still_lady UK(PE), 22 mths      |
I suppose that I shall never know
"I used to think I was serving humanity...and I pleasured in the thought. Then I discovered that humanity does not want to be served; on the contrary it resents any attempt to serve it. So now I do what pleases ?" extract from Stranger In A Strange Land by R.A. Heinlein | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 9:51 PM inappropriate  UK(CF), 3 yrs |
I really liked @tiggerGlasgow's response to this; there were lots of bits that were true for me too. In general denial is something that's really difficult for me. If not properly managed, I turn in to a super bitch and end up with less of a feeling of submissiveness (rather than more) for the person playing with me. | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 10:38 PM longman28 UK(SA), 2 yrs |
I always thought denial was a river in Egypt. Be dangerous, its careful out there. | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 11:29 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
Oh that all sounds lovely ... just my sort of thing (though with different shaped genitals). Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/ | ||
| 9 Sep 10, 11:56 PM poutanaki UK(M), 10 yrs |
Not online long enough to give a long or thought out response, (may well come back to this if I am able). But orgasm denial and control really works for me as part of a D/s dynamic. Both complete denial - longest being about 6 weeks... and yes I did lose interest somewhat, but that was within their power to do, and that is what they wanted. And lots of stimulation with no release - which results in being constantly horny, and yes perhaps creates strops and sulks and a little bit of resentment.
But, in both cases... being able to obey, knowing that they own your cunt and your pleasure. Getting to the point where you want to disobey, where you want to touch, but you can't because it simply doesn't belong to you... well that's just Though I do think it can be a fine balancing act for the Dominant, to keep it at the right level between the two extremes of completely no interest v a moody nightmare... but I think it may be interesting to hit those two extremes from time to time, its probably easier to play around in the middle.
I feel a lot more satisfied when I am not in control of my own orgasms, because when I do have control, I have a tendency to overdo it Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please. Edited 10 Sep 10, 12:04 AM by poutanaki | ||
| 11 Sep 10, 3:52 PM BadWulf UK(TA), 6 yrs |
I think the above is the real point. It is MY cunt.
Thus,entirely up to me whether it is played with or enjoyed, how, when and where. Whether it is Cumming continuously till she passes out or 20 weeks without, it is not touched without permission. Its hard really to find a stronger representation of the D/s dynamic, which is why it so damn horny Simples. - Wulfy My, what sharp teeth I have. Edited 11 Sep 10, 9:00 PM by BadWulf | ||
| 11 Sep 10, 4:08 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Absolutely the same with me as below.
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It just does, and Sir knows this and has seen it first hand - i can't help myself. Whether it's because i haven't had enough experience of having my orgasms so ultimately controlled, i don't know - i'm still pretty much the less-than-a-year-novice, and before i committed myself to my Sir, i was an online sub who would sneak the occasional orgasm, just because i could, just knowing that real punishment by my then-time Dom was not possible as He was so far away!). However, now that i am in a r/t D/s relationship and i am His in training, the tables have turned big time. i have felt the wrath of His punishment in trying to sneak just 'anything', even non-sexual, and know that i cannot or will not dare sneak an orgasm behind His back...i give Him exactly what He wants and if i am to be denied orgasm for however length of time, then so be it, as this is His wish and i will obey. If i am denied sex, because He chooses it, again in my submission to Him, so be it (but this gets me really quite emotional and tearful).
