Our Side media wise... (48)

BDSM and D/s is such a wide/diverse subject, those involved will want to portray their own perceptions so... it might "miss the mark" for a lot of people, leaving people even less tolerant or unlikely to be as accepting, as desired.

Whilst many of us recognise the multi-facets of it, any programme would have to be very careful not to alienate "the scene" even further.

What's wrong with showing some of the sexually arousing (titillation) aspect of it? That's one of the reasons why I enjoy it so much - of course, it's not the only thing I like but is a large part of it... maybe I'm alone in that.

I think it's what all human beings have in common, whatever their sexuality, that is significant. I make an exception for paedophilia because ir destroys children's lives, but apart from that the emotional values, love, loyalty, integrity, trust, excitement in all its many different guises and pleasure (ditto) etc etc are parts of all of us. That is the good news, that BDSM is about those things too, that I think so few vanillas understand.

But if they saw/heard BDSMers talking about their feelings re BDSM and their feelings re their partners I think they would be enabled to empathise and so be much more accepting.

That won't happen just because they watch someone being tied up. I think much the same is true about heterosexual attitudes to homosexuality.

Stormy

PS Much more in this vein on the piece I linked on an earlier post on this thread.

Before I participated in D/s I too was a "vanilla" but that didn't mean I didn't understand anything about BDSM or D/s... I just wasn't active in it.

To try to emotionalise something that is already an emotive issue to many (in and out of "the scene") could be perceived as patronising... that's a slippery slope to nowhere.

By all means try to explain to people what we obtain from it (for each person it will be different) but... don't make it a "them 'n' us" situation... we all eat, breathe, communicate, think, etc... we just don't ALL want everything other people do. To try, in one film, to demonstrate what appeals and why simply won't be possible, it'll be like scraping the tip of an iceberg (and I don't mean lettuce!).

A project like this needs to be thought out and take many factors into consideration to do it right and do it well.

I would not just want to 'throw' something together which does not achieve the results we would like to achieve.

This is whay getting ideas, input and feed back from people can help us as we put it together - to make it an educational film (or series of films) that help

chartreuse - we would not just want to put together a film which only portrays the perceptions of the individuals invovled in the project. we would want a thorough and balanced presentation of BDSM. this means those involved in the project will need to be thorough and research etc.

stormywaters - that is a good point and one we need to take into account when putting this film (/films) together. i think people seeing that side of BDSM relationships can be a positive point.

This can include presenting the stories of some people who felt 'they never fitted' in a relationship, until they discovered BDSM, finding out that they were 'submissive' has helped them find peace, rather than trying to conform to societies views of how they should be in a erlationship etc.

We can show how people have learned a lot more about themselves and come to terms and peave with who they are in areas as a result of what they have explored and learned in BDSM

ClassAct2005: thank you for the positive point that just because something is hard to explain doesn't mean it is not worth doing!

I agree - we are facing an uphill challenge - because we are facing preconcieved ideas, prejudices, societies expectations and more, but history shows that people who have been prepared to stand up and face a task to do something similar (change things in the status quo) have often been successful. It can be done

thank you every one for your comments!

this idea is developing and is going to be more than just an idea - it will develop into a project that will take shape and form!

Personally I wandered into this life rather late and believe me I am kicking myself now. I was one of those that thought every dark violent pain filled image in my mind was sick, wrong and that I was sick and wrong. The basic normality of everyday society made me believe in this wrongness, the things in my head were abuse plain and simple and there were battered victims of domestic violence to prove it. I existed in this accepted norm with my thoughts locked up along with my self doubt and self loathing of my hidden desires and fantasies.

Hell I wish I had known way sooner that actually I am (kinda) normal, a nudge from a friend, a point in the right direction and I found myself where I am now. Initially a place of "wahey" kinky stuff that made me feel at home. Now I don't think of online forums as community as such but when you first find the BDSM world many of us do it online and places like these sure help make you feel a teeny bit more normal (I exclude the bickering and sniping in here ok).

Then the downfall that I managed to avoid pretty well all things considering, the predators that wander through life everywhere also reside online preying on the new, the ones who are still uncertain. I was lucky not fall foul of these scum buckets but I bet every single one of us has at one time or another has either fallen into these wankers grasp or nearly fallen for their tales of how to be true blah blah.

I know education of any sort isn't going to make us completely mainstream and I know some people would hate to feel mainstream anyway but what if we could make the pathway to becoming what we are inside our heads that little bit easier? What if we could make the transition into what you want to be easier and also making it that little bit harder for the predators? If it helped just one lonely scared person feel less scared of what they fantasise about and more comfortable with their alternative sexuality wouldn't it make it worth while?

Now I'm with a man who makes me so at ease with being me, who will lift my face just so he look in my eyes and smile, holds me when I'm stressed, will whisper everything will be ok, who would tear the world apart to keep me safe, can run his finger down my face and quietly say how much he loves me with all his heart. Awwwww even the most vanilla person would just smile at that yes?

Now add to that this same man can lift my face to look in my eyes before slapping it repeatedly just to see it redden and my eyes fill with tears, can beat me just to see the marks, the welts, the bruises appear, who loves to see me crawl and beg, listen to my cries and screams. Does he do this just for him? no it's also done for me, it feeds the dark need I have inside of me, the part that craves the pain, the humiliation and the need to be HIS totally and completely.

I don't need this because I was abused at any other time in my life or any other psychological claptrap, it's just the way I was wired. Together we fulfil those parts of us that need this way of release, it makes us happy no not happy it makes us content. We are closer than most other couples I know, we were lucky to find it because if the general populace had it's way our lifestyle would only be the thoughts in our head.

I find our relationship and everything within it beautiful but many others would not, I don't want to shove it in every ones face I just want to be able to live it. I know what we have isn't what everyone on the scene or into the lifestyle or vanilla land want but again all I want is to be able to live it in our way.

I feel education can help that and can help those yet to wander into what they want/need/crave to be and if I can aid that in any way then I will. Nobody has to help it isn't compulsory but if you do, even if you feel it is just a simple idea you have then please post here or even send a memo.

Of course I could be just talking total over emotional bollocks, feel free to post that too :D

red

*edited because my spell checker is crap and my spelling seemed to throw it of course totally.

Go on crush me like a flower, rusted from the rain Come on strip me of me of my power, beat me with your chains..... (Billy Talent - Rusted from the Rain)

Edited 7 Sep 10, 1:53 AM by redimp

The natural progression with Youtube and the internet from this has been to move into video clips, with the same aim in mind. We have now begun to do this - producing a range of clips about how to start out in BDSM with your partner. They are aimed at beginners, and aim to show both participants having a good time, with the sub smiling rather than looking like a victim. With the voice overs we have aimed to give balanced viewpoints from both participants to give a feeling of what each gets out of it as well as the physical aspect of how things feel. These are more about the physical side of BDSM than the documentary you are suggesting. We wanted to portray that BDSM could be about having fun with your partner and exploring the range of sensations your body can experience, rather than that it had to be about extreme pain or suffering. They can be viewed here http://www.freakclubwear.co.uk/store/index.php?m...

We are now looking at how to market these online clips (that we are adding to each month) so that they reach the target audience. This is so far proving slower than we hoped, with even other BDSM websites not wishing to publicise them (at least not for free). This shows that just making a documentary and putting it online would not be enough - if you want to reach a huge audience, particularly of nillas you will also need to work hard for a long time to publicise it. So you need to consider not only the time and cost factor of producing the documentary but also of a prolonged publicity campaign.

If you are looking for people happy to be infront of the camera for the documentary project feel free to get in touch. I have done various BDSM performances for TV, and all my family and friends know about the fetish business I run for a living so that is not an issue.

If anyone reading this has ideas to help us promote our Youtube clips please get in touch. Any help or advice would be appreciated!

Vicky of Freak Clubwear

Freak is 7 years old as a full time fetish business. FREE online BDSM instructional videos on our site. www.freakclubwear.co.uk See us at the LFF and BBB every month and Erotica in November.

I have actually visited your site and watched the videos clips too, I really enjoyed them and thought you did a cracking job on them. I think it was seeing those that actually triggered my wee brain cells to start ticking.

red

Go on crush me like a flower, rusted from the rain Come on strip me of me of my power, beat me with your chains..... (Billy Talent - Rusted from the Rain)