This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.
| 31 Aug 10, 10:31 AM camdencouple UK(NW), 6 yrs  |
We like clubs, a chance to dress up and there is the real thrill of playing in public. We both tend to be exhibitionists when subbing at clubs and love the rush of being stripped and paraded infront of strangers (or friends) which is very intense. The only real down side to clubs is that the play is never as intense as we can achieve at home. And we do wish that other clubbers wouldn't be quite so respectful of our space; we sometimes feel like shouting "There is a naked person tied to that cross, for god sake take advantage of the situation!" Edited 31 Aug 10, 10:32 AM by camdencouple | ||
| 31 Aug 10, 10:32 AM mia  UK(M), 4 yrs        |
This. I like going now i'm in a couple for some of the same reasons and some different reasons as i did when i was single. I like going to dress up, to drink, to socialise, to maybe have a dance, to maybe have some play, etc. What i like about going as a couple is that it's somewhere we can be ourselves in front of others. When we're out and about as a couple in more 'vanilla' settings, our Ds stuff is toned down, but at clubs it's a nice opportunity to be us without fear of upsetting any apple carts. x That bridge is on fire, back to where i've been, i'm froze by desire, no need to leave | ||
| 31 Aug 10, 10:38 AM ladybabe2 UK(SK), 6 yrs |
I enjoy playing in a club mainly because of the equipment l find that l can get in a position that is suitable for me without it hurting my neck or shoulder....
Plus its good to talk to others about techniques, sometimes l get to experience new things in a safe enviroment, so l know if l wish to try it again with more edge I wish that l had my own lovely fully stocked dungeon where your screams are not heard in the night.... Where vanilla life has no meaning... But l don't so the next best thing is a club just wish l could go to more of them.... Don't make them a priority, when they only make you an option... | ||
| 31 Aug 10, 10:39 AM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs    |
This - and this:
Being us, in a friendly, accepting environment, is just wonderful. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 31 Aug 10, 11:33 AM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
*takes note of what you say here* I would say that based on being able to relate to some of the feelings you describe here, I am quite inspired: I certainly went off clubs and public play due to how I feel about myself (something that Master is doing a wonderful job to help me with)...based on what you say here, I am thinking "wow, this could be a serious benefit of going to a club for me"....kind of like if I embrace what puts me at great unease more often, the great sense of unease will begin to deminish as a result of such exposure. Hmmmm, I also wonder if clubbing has lost some of its appeal due to self consciouslyness as well. I guess when I see people being (what I am perhaps wrongly assuming is) exhibitionist, I find it awkward but maybe I shouldn't assume that a club is full of exhibitionists and voyeurs because I'm perhaps putting more pressure on the situation than is necessary. (I guess if I'm honest about it, I'm somewhat terrified of being in a situation where there's scope for my brain to go off on one in a way that makes me feel ugly or inadequate or sexually inferior). The reasons why I/we don't go clubbing so much still stand but having read your posts people I am beginning to "re-appreciate" what it might be to give clubbing a chance again. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | ||
| 31 Aug 10, 5:40 PM janusxuk UK(HP), 7 yrs |
I don't think that the exhibitionist / voyer side is as much a priority for club goers as you might think. Certainly I have been guilty of showing off the shiney toy, the arm candy sub I am pleased as punch to be associated with, or the latest complex rope creation, but really I go because my friends do, there is kit I don't have and there aren't any nillas. Any exhibitionist / voyer fullfilment that I do get is a minor issue and I think it is for most people. Many days one day | ||
| 31 Aug 10, 7:24 PM OllieVW 3 yrs |
Me & Lima mainly play at clubs. Its great for both of us as no kids around or neighbours to worry about due to noise levels etc.. We enjoy clubs as its a social night as well as us being initmate in ways we find harder at home. A place to meet friends, new people, see new things, speak about expereinces and discover new ideas. Clubs also have the added bonus of the asthetics, equipment and the general atmosphere which is more difficult to achieve at home. Clubs also give us the chance to travel together to new places and alos to spend some quality time together. Were both exhabitionists as well as voyeurs so clubs are the ideal place for us. The only disapointing thing about clubs is the restrictions which we both understand are present for the benefit of the club. some clubs do hoowever allow us to expereince the whole 9 yards in a setting we both enjoy. The finacial side isnt an issue as we plan club visits and budget accordingly. Its nice to be able to spoil ourselves every now and again.
Clubs arent realy that dear its more travel and accomodation if needed. Most of the3 clubs events we go to range from £5 to £15 a good bottle of wine would be just as expensive and Lima would need 3 of those so im quids in if we go out There is nor fear in love;but perfect love casteth out fear | ||
| 1 Sep 10, 8:03 PM twiggy_the_spider UK(G), 5 yrs |
I find the idea of going to a club at all quite, not scary, but off putting, I've been to a couple but never quite felt I fitted in. I don't think i want my play in one. I'm really not an exhibitionist and the idea of other people being around and able to see me doing my thing makes me feel really uncomfortable. I think I might like to go to a club again with my new partner, i love to dress up and socialise and all I just think I would feel under pressure to play (my partner is much more of an exhibitionist than i am) and then I would get upset. (edited for sense making.) Edited 1 Sep 10, 8:04 PM by twiggy_the_spider | ||
| 1 Sep 10, 8:49 PM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
At first, like you, I loved going to clubs - the exploration, the chance to play, learn new things, etc. Then I seemed to realise other aspects of it - the voyeurism and exhibitionism and for a long time this put me off. I'll never forget going to a big Manchester play party and seeing all the equipment placed in the middle of a large room, under bright lights, surrounded by tables and chairs for others to watch the goings on, it completely put me off playing in public for a very long time, and still does to a certain extent. I play for me and my Dom, not to be watched by others. However, that feeling of voyeurism does vary greatly depending which play party you go to - some are much more voyeuristic than others. Once you have noticed the huge line of people standing behind the 'wanky man' curtain at Lash, it does spoil things somewhat, yet other parties have much more cosy and secluded play spaces where you can escape from the noise and merry-making, or large and spacious rooms set apart from the main rooms and bar where you can play virtually undisturbed for as long as your little heart desires. Play parties often have interesting furniture that you wouldn't get to play with at home, for reasons of cost or space. And of course, there is the pleasure of dressing up in something crazy or outrageous and stepping out feeling like a million dollars. We have often commented that we don't really need to go out to play parties since we got the spanking bench and bondage frame, but occasions like the other month where we got to play with a gorgeous wooden cage are such a pleasant surprise and give us new ideas for toys. And of course, not to be underestimated, there is the learning and sharing aspect of BDSM which you just can't get from munches - bringing along your new violet wand, or single tail and being shown how to use it; learning a new trick from someone who has been using them from years or showing a complete newbie just how good a basic suede flogger can be for the first time. I can't speak highly enough of all the wonderfully experienced people who have shared their skills and knowledge with us over the years, and likewise we feel honour bound to pass what we know on to others. I love this aspect of the BDSM scene, and if you get a play party where there are more people who feel like that, it more than makes up for the occasional staring weirdo, imo. subbie xxx | ||
| 1 Sep 10, 10:46 PM Ama_Sidero UK(GU), 7 yrs      |
I think this is another common misconception - that you go to clubs to only play. I know it seems like the opposite of my prior reason to go (I do go to play), but I have only RARELY felt "pressured" to play. People have asked me and I've declined politely because I really don't play with people I don't know. It is my choice - it is everyone's individual choice. But people certainly don't EXPECT you to play at clubs - just as many just go to meet their mates. You do what you want to (unless you are sub in which case you do what s/he wants you to, lol), and what you are comfortable with. It isn't any different from a nightclub. You aren't *obligated* to dance if you go out. You watch some people, or don't. Some people are plainly exhibitionists, some obviously just love to dance. Someone asks you to dance, maybe you say yes, maybe you say no, depending on several factors.
Hants/Berks/Surrey borders, BDSM All Day Play Party - 26/09/10 http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/278057/: details of the first party! |
