27 Aug 10, 10:46 PM
treehuggingisfree
UK(G), 11 yrs
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lustrum wrote:
Loyalty is simply a feeling. The moment that your tummy tells you that you have been disloyal in whatever manner that feeling surfaces, is probably the moment that you have been so.
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Read all the posts with great interest. It seems there are as many ideas of how loyalty will manifest as there are people being loyal, but there is a common thread of openess and respect
However I feel this particular post I reply to sums up the essence
Am also reminded of Freda Kahlo's
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freda_Kahlo
husband saying to her
"I cannot promise you to be faithful, but I will always be loyal to you"
And he was.
That for me counts far more than abiding by some societal "norm"
deryck x
Come play with me
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27 Aug 10, 11:35 PM
Grownup_Frankie
UK, 4 yrs
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Intemporelle wrote:
...It also means we won't be playing games here, let's be straightforward when we communicate, let's believe we're together for the long run and everything else can be questioned in our relationship but not that...
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I liked that. I liked the whole post, but I liked that particularly.
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29 Aug 10, 10:36 AM
Degenerate
UK(M), 5 yrs
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treehuggingisfree wrote:
lustrum wrote:
Loyalty is simply a feeling. The moment that your tummy tells you that you have been disloyal in whatever manner that feeling surfaces, is probably the moment that you have been so.
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Read all the posts with great interest. It seems there are as many ideas of how loyalty will manifest as there are people being loyal, but there is a common thread of openess and respect
However I feel this particular post I reply to sums up the essence
Am also reminded of Freda Kahlo's
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freda_Kahlo
husband saying to her
"I cannot promise you to be faithful, but I will always be loyal to you"
And he was.
That for me counts far more than abiding by some societal "norm"
deryck x
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I think you're right
Kahlo, wonderful one of very few examples of historical record of agreed multiple relationships.
Intemporelle I love your message and very much see it the way you do.
De
Sign up to CAAN's statement www.caan.org.uk
Spanner Trust SM campaign - can you join in?
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/239250/0
f fe
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29 Aug 10, 11:06 AM
old_number_7
UK(CR), 2 yrs
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Loyalty is being true to your self and your partner.
You have to believe in it and mean, it to your self , as a basis for the relationship ...
The moment its gone.......there is no relationship,no trust. good bye
C_H x Come to the dark side, I have icecream
Edited 29 Aug 10, 11:07 AM by old_number_7
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29 Aug 10, 8:32 PM
CommanderBondage
3 yrs
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crazy_horse wrote:
Loyalty is being true to your self and your partner.
You have to believe in it and mean, it to your self , as a basis for the relationship ...
The moment its gone.......there is no relationship,no trust. good bye
C_H x
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Whilst trust is undoubtedly the “linch pin” of loyalty, there also many more emotions connected with it.
In my opinion just to connect it to trust over simplifies it.
It's a combination word that encompasses, trust, devotion, love, honour, bravery, truthfulness, honesty and probably more.
A soldier for example goes back into the firing line to save a fallen colleague; all of those emotions are present in this example. He can have the same loyalty for more than one colleague too.
Putting his own life in danger to save his colleagues is loyalty in its purest form.
However loss of trust may not necessarily mean a lack of loyalty, but be more a matter of loss of confidence. For example I may fail to carry out a task effectively, and therefore would not be trusted to do it again (hopefully the washing up).
If however the word “BETRAYAL” is introduced into this complicated equation another word is created.
“Disloyalty”
That is not the subject of this discussion as the OP was about the word “loyalty”.
Maybe it will crop up on another thread.
The Commander
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29 Aug 10, 8:54 PM
Ouroboros
UK(M), 4 yrs
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Degenerate wrote:
Relationships: What is loyalty?
What exactly IS loyalty? I did an short interview for C4 this week about the ethics of multiple relationships and adultery. One of the things I mentioned was what I consider the unloving disloyalty involved non-consensual non-monogamy (ie where a partner is non monogamous in the full knowledge it is a hard limit for their spouse or partner). I commented that I expect loyalty in my relationships too (I am polyamorous: in more than one long term loving relationship). I didn't mention that I suspect I expect it to a very high standard from a submissive, in particular if they have protocols, as we weren't discussing BDSM.
I think some people would find it hard to understand why loyalty is such an important value to me, and that there is still loyalty in ethical multiple relationships. So it got me thinking about what loyalty is and whether people have different understandings of what loyalty is, or whether we just feel it via different routes/outcomes and is it quite individual to each of us?
Regardless of your relationship style, or orientation:
Is loyalty important to you?
What does loyalty in the context of your intimate and / or romantic relationships mean to you or involve?
What would count as disloyalty?
Does it / how does it relate to your BDSM orientation or relationship/s/style?
I am hovering on this message trying to work out how to describe what it means to me and quite honestly I can't put it into words yet because it's so much about feelings for me, so I might have to add more later  .
De
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Respect, integrity and loyalty are all important in any types of relationships.
To me loyalty is important. Adama: What do you hear, Starbuck?
Starbuck: Nothing but the rain, sir.
Adama: Then get your gun, and bring the cat in.
Starbuck: Aye-aye, sir.
Edited 29 Aug 10, 9:03 PM by Ouroboros
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