This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Sun 22 Aug 10, 1:54 PM Dapper_Dom 2 yrs |
I have been chatting with @Shibari_Cognoscenti about body modification and the subject of rites of passage. For example, in that context branding or tattooing as a rite of passage or similar experience. But we're also discussing 'rites of passage' as a concept *generally* within both society and BDSM. Regarding the latter, he said that I may find more submissives think in these terms. They all start with 'hard limits', which over time some Dominants push to stretch or break down. We sometimes see examples of this in weblogs, where submissives are proud to have done something they wouldn't have previously considered, for their Dom/Domme. We agreed that it's often more difficult for a Dominant to see what they do as a 'rite of passage'. What do you define as a Dominant 'rite' within BDSM and/or O&P? Would anyone like to provide examples, or stories, of such rites? NB. Shibari_Cognoscenti agreed to me mentioning our private correspondance and quoting some of what he said Edited Sun 22 Aug 10, 4:42 PM by Dapper_Dom | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 4:25 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs        |
For me, the knowledge that she submits and that her submission is real is the only rite of passage: it means I have achieved dominance. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 4:31 PM BarbieSlutLoki UK(E), 6 yrs |
If they can Dom whilst wearing pink fluffy slippers and a wynciette nightie The first rule of Brat Club, we don't talk about Brat Club... | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 4:51 PM Felixthecat  UK(CM), 23 mths |
Its is a bit of a oxymoronic situation = a rite of passage means requiring others approval for your behaviour there for Submitting to their superiority & peer pressure = a loss of dominance. just doesn't work for me, i have never felt the need to comply or seek others approval for being me and don't ever intend to Stercus accidit | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 5:31 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs |
You are right that a rite of passage requires acknowledgment. But if that acknowledgment comes from your Submissive, where's the problem? My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 5:51 PM Felixthecat UK(CM), 23 mths |
i could be reading the OP incorrectly but i think they were describing a more community style rite rather like a slave getting collared on the Slave register? but i could be wrong?? Stercus accidit Edited 22 Aug 10, 5:53 PM by Felixthecat | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 6:13 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I would imagine it's the first time they are with a girl who wants what they need to give and for some men they are lucky enough that that be when they're 18 and for others it takes a good few years. I'm not sure I'd call that a rite of passage though. I don't hink you need a rite of practice to be yourself. It simply exists. | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 6:39 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs  |
Rites of passage are used within societies to mark the transition of someone from one status to another. The only BDSM rite of passage is selecting being_dom as an interest. Anything else is self promoting aggrandisement, which the non gullible look upon as insecure posturing. Why don't cash machines have a Gamble button? | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 6:54 PM BarbieSlutLoki UK(E), 6 yrs |
And a leather waistcoat, all twue Doms wear a leather waistcoat The first rule of Brat Club, we don't talk about Brat Club... | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 6:55 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Not necessarily a DS way of thinking, but certainly rites of passage for myself as an individual. The first time someone asked me to fist them and believing it was impossible to do, then it happened and it blew me away. Realising that putting something into a slaves penis is incredibly hot and not at all ewwww. Putting a needle in myself for the first time, despite having only done it to others for years. Girls can get performance anxiety when peeing, no matter how dominant they are. Sometimes it just won't come! Becoming a total dildo size queen. Emotionally? Making someone cry, watching them and being turned on, rather than bursting into tears myself. After having a slave slag me off in great detail here and upsetting me immensely for the uncalled nature of the slagging, that having a good reputation on the 'scene' rewards you threefold. Being shocked at the discovery I was kinky after being called it, having not known it before because I always thought that the way I have sex was 'normal'. And some of the deepest, most meaningful and hot things I've indulged in, lost absolutely no significance because they were with strangers. Perverted Pederast Puppetmistress Pimp Pandering to the Patriarchy... apparently | ||
| 22 Aug 10, 8:26 PM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
It might sound a bit odd but for me, a couple of important lines to see a newbie Dom cross are a) to learn that they enjoy giving pain, which can often be a mental battle to begin with and somewhat clouded by the old taboo that you don't hit a woman. b) that moment in a club when they realise they would be just as happy to play with a bloke, to show someone a new toy, etc, because they realise it isn't all about sex, and that they would be glad for someone to show them a new toy regardless of whether they fancied them or not. subbie xxx |
