Session Ambience. (20)

Hope you are all weathering the recession! I open this thread because I have been chatting to a relative newbie about sessions and he says:

'I would have to know that the dominant didn't really care about me.'

That certainly cuts me out then AND every other serious and responsible dominant I know in the lifestyle.

Even in a one hour session with a total stranger that I will possibly never see again, I feel close and almost loving even while adminstering pain wotevah. I may be calling them all the names under the sun, humiliating and abusing them, but I still care very much about their welfare and I still begin to feel very close to them.

You simply CANNOT conduct an intense session where you are inches away, staring into their eyes and smiling while you hurt them while at the same time seeing the pain or pleasure registering on their faces and not feel an emotional bond. I do hope that many pros will agree with this?

If I did not care about people they would possibly end up leaving injured either physically or emotionally, plus the session wouldn't have gone very well or 'worked'. When it does 'work' the feelings flowing betweeen dominant and submissive are electric.

They expect me to care for them whether we have agreed that they do not wish to be hurt at all, or even if we have agreed that they will leave with the blood running down the back of their legs. They expect and trust me to ensure they are safe while with me and I fully accept and honour that trust. I DO care very much for them, even after they have left me and have to drive home shattered... (but hopefully happy!)

I said to this man: 'If your experiences have not contained this close, intense/loving/trusting/caring and protective ambience then you have been playing with a crap dominant.(sowwy!)'

Comments please? XXX

Perfect beauty. Absolute obedience.

Edited Thu 19 Aug 10, 6:45 PM by MsDarklove_Hurts

Some enjoy to remain in their headpsace, even when they leave My presence. There is nothing wrong with that in My view, some do not wish any nurturing or warmth, before, during and after session.

I have a few masochistic slave's for pro session, that have their session, and they shower and I show them the door, no small talk or after session chit chat.

That is their right, and I have no quarms about it to be honest. I always receive an email, or text with their feelings afterwards, so all is good

" The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. Resist it and your soul grows sick with longing, for the things it has forbidden itself" Oscar Wilde
My Members Site: http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/ My Videos Clips: http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

Edited 20 Aug 10, 3:07 AM by MistressRouge

In my opinion, you were very wrong to say this. However you feel about domination he has his opinion, his needs and his wants. Your way of domination isn't any more valid than his. Sure, you weren't suited and you'd be right to turn him away but you shouldn't judge him like this and you shouldn't be telling him that he has played with crap dominants! He's a newbie for goodness sake!

Some of my most powerful sessions have been where I have given the impression that I don't care about the sub. If this guy is a newbie how does he know whether the Domme cares or not, or pretends not to care. He may need to be completely deconstructed in session and then put back together again at the end. As an experienced professional I prefer to discuss their version of femdom and see if I can marry it with my experience. I like to discuss their fantasy and explain the possible reality. Some guys, particularly newbies need guidance by the ones, us, who know better than them, because we have the experience. Or sometimes you just have to accept that he wants what he wants and he'll eventually find it and be perfectly happy and content...and that doesn't make him or the PD wrong.

YKIOK/YKINOK and all that.

"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/26308 http://ladyannadominatrix.c4slive.com/ http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk

However I still care about them even while I am pretending they are nothing to me and below my notice. If I began to feel and act like the hardened pro who conducts the conveyor belt system and could not care less what happens to the client during play and after he leaves I would give up and get a job in Tescos.

Being able to feel a closeness with the client keeps my sessions fresh, exiting and immensely pleasurable for me and I hope I never stop feeling like this.

Perfect beauty. Absolute obedience.

Edited 19 Aug 10, 8:12 PM by MsDarklove_Hurts

How do you know that others pros don't care? Aren't they pretending too?

"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/26308 http://ladyannadominatrix.c4slive.com/ http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk

Where do I even suggest or hint that other people do not feel this ambience?????? I say that I hope other pros can relate to my own experiences. Where do I say that they do not?

We all know there are pros who work the conveyor belt system. We also know that there are ones who are caring and responsible.

I have submitted a thread to get peoples' opinions, not attract nasty comments or have words put into my mouth.

Perfect beauty. Absolute obedience.

Edited 19 Aug 10, 8:21 PM by MsDarklove_Hurts

I've emboldened your words. You say you are happy to pretend, but then you say that the 'hardened pro' doesn't pretend, that she really doesn't care.

I'm wondering how you know what the 'hardened pro' is thinking and how you know whether she is pretending or not pretending.

It's an interesting topic and one I'd like to debate. A lot of what we do is pure theatre, in my opinion. Both PD and sub has to maintain role to get what they want from the session, to feed and nurture our fantasies.

"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/26308 http://ladyannadominatrix.c4slive.com/ http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk

Start a thread about it then. This particular one is about ambience with the client.

Bye and take care.

Perfect beauty. Absolute obedience.

And that is what I am talking about.

Ambience, theatre, same thing.

"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/26308 http://ladyannadominatrix.c4slive.com/ http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk

I suspect that some clients may feel too overwhelmed, not able to receive or just not requiring a close, intense, loving, trusting, caring and protective session. Maybe that does just not 'float their boat'.

But I have to say, I have responded well to clients who do like this dynamic. Liking to dominate from this angle and finding it more of a challenge if I sense the visitor to my chamber does not require/need/want what I view as an underlying 'nurturing' dynamic.

Mind you, challenges have been coming my way and I am exploring what I would classify as a more emotionally removed... colder psychologically... sort of exchange. I suppose it comes down to what I need from a session, what the client needs, and if I feel those needs have the potential to 'dove-tail' at the same given time.

I have heard it said that we get the clients that are 'right' for us, that we are giving off signals all the time as to what sort of Mistress we are and will attract men who respond to our style'. Just look at our websites, they are so different and unique.

I do feel that intent is very important, and I wonder if that was part of what you were expressing. That no matter how we are in a session, mean sadistic bitch, sensual teasing seductress etc...... behind it is our ethical concern to 'do no harm' and treat our clients in a respectful manner.

I hope what I am trying to get across makes a bit of sense...

"It's not what people say, but what they DO that counts"

Edited 20 Aug 10, 12:10 AM by cough_cough

We will have to agree to disagree I'm afraid. I do not think the word 'ambience' and the word 'theatre' are in any way similiar in their meaning.

Perfect beauty. Absolute obedience.