19 Aug 10, 11:53 AM
OlderWiser
2 yrs |
Maidcicely_Sissygirl wrote:
Lack of character ????? I am a character 
Why not as a pre-requisite of joining IC one should have to complete some of
Eysenck's isometric/personality/character questionaire/tests.
Having already done that many moons ago , I was assessed as a neurotic extrovert .
That means I'm into everthing . Awesome I love you Prof.
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That's OKCupid  |
19 Aug 10, 11:57 AM
Northern_Phoenix
UK, 8 yrs |
OlderWiser wrote:
As I trawl idly through profiles I come across, many have massive lists of likes/ dislikes and it always seems to me that this merely reflects a lack of character or experience on the poster's part.
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I'm not exactly sure that profiles count for anything anyway, unless they are bad to the point of offending the eyes of those that read them! And to provide a context, I'll use myself as an example...
In the past, I'd say I've had what could be considered by conventional wisdom to be 'good profiles' - they've talked about me as a person, likes and dislikes in the vanilla sense, mention of fairly broad BDSM stuff, what I'm looking for, etc. I steered away from the 'what I can offer' side of things, since people are more important than specific roles. And precisely no-one got in touch because of it.
Ok, so it might be more accurate to say not directly because of it. Yes, it might have merited a glance, but I think any conversation I've had here has been because of a combination of the posts and blogs I've made, which character actually can show fairly clearly through in time, and a small combination of pictures and profile.
And the profile I have now seems to have split opinion even among the friends I've asked about it, from 'provocative' to 'funny' to 'not really what you're like', so who knows how it comes across to the random internet stranger. But it doesn't really matter. If someone is put off by the profile alone, that's entirely up to them. If someone gets in touch because of it, they'd get to know at least something of the person beyond it. But I'd say it's far more likely that people would get a sense of who I am through the things I write and have written on here, and be in touch because of that.
Who knows, maybe I'll try a list one day When a man loves a woman it should be understood,
He would jump into fire if she thought he should.
***Masters Of Reality - Voice And The Vision***
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19 Aug 10, 11:59 AM
OlderWiser
2 yrs |
Northern_Phoenix wrote:
OlderWiser wrote:
As I trawl idly through profiles I come across, many have massive lists of likes/ dislikes and it always seems to me that this merely reflects a lack of character or experience on the poster's part.
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I'm not exactly sure that profiles count for anything anyway, unless they are bad to the point of offending the eyes of those that read them! And to provide a context, I'll use myself as an example...
In the past, I'd say I've had what could be considered by conventional wisdom to be 'good profiles' - they've talked about me as a person, likes and dislikes in the vanilla sense, mention of fairly broad BDSM stuff, what I'm looking for, etc. I steered away from the 'what I can offer' side of things, since people are more important than specific roles. And precisely no-one got in touch because of it.
Ok, so it might be more accurate to say not directly because of it. Yes, it might have merited a glance, but I think any conversation I've had here has been because of a combination of the posts and blogs I've made, which character actually can show fairly clearly through in time, and a small combination of pictures and profile.
And the profile I have now seems to have split opinion even among the friends I've asked about it, from 'provocative' to 'funny' to 'not really what you're like', so who knows how it comes across to the random internet stranger. But it doesn't really matter. If someone is put off by the profile alone, that's entirely up to them. If someone gets in touch because of it, they'd get to know at least something of the person beyond it. But I'd say it's far more likely that people would get a sense of who I am through the things I write and have written on here, and be in touch because of that.
Who knows, maybe I'll try a list one day
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On the t'interweb you have to cross-reference everything
That posting was brilliant - thank you. |
19 Aug 10, 12:05 PM
redimp
UK(B), 4 yrs
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I see nothing wrong in people having a list as a profile and I think if you are wise enough you can actually get a far better idea about someone from a list than a supposedly well written insightful profile.
A person is more likely to give away parts of their characteristics in a list than a persona they wish to present with written detail.
Go on crush me like a flower, rusted from the rain
Come on strip me of me of my power, beat me with your chains.....
(Billy Talent - Rusted from the Rain)
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19 Aug 10, 12:08 PM
Filth_Wizard
UK(RM), 8 yrs
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It's an online profile, not a cross between a psych evaluation and This Is Your Life. Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich.
@MaleDominantForum
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19 Aug 10, 12:14 PM
dedicated_kitty
UK(LN), 3 yrs
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OlderWiser wrote:
dedicated_kitty wrote:
OlderWiser wrote:
I get the point about pompous language but I always try to use words very precisely - not for a lapidary effect. It's only words - I don't worry about that - I take people as they come. No problem.
Thank you.
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It is only words, you're very right. But when all people have to go on is words, no tone of voice, no body language or perception of warmth, then that's when we sometimes take things differently to how they were meant.
It's easy to make assumptions about the words we read, what's difficult is not assuming we have always got it right.
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But that's my point - people being precise and authentic - and if you talk to people for long enough - suspending the nasties - then you might evolve a conversation rather than just a battle of wills. I think lists might not give an insight into someone's character but I could be wrong - you need to meet the person I guess but it doesn't inspire me but it doesn't mean they are an evil, nasty bad person and as people have pointed out there are many reasons for why people do it - no generic one - so I have been proved wrong - so at least I've teased that one out. But how people present is at once more complex and also quite simple really I guess. I suppose I do find lists a barrier at times.
The fact that people are quick to judge because of tone of writing and use of vocabularies is interesting. I'm amazed people seem so threatened - after all it's about clear communication that's all.
And edited to say - when I use the word "you" I really meant "one" but I don't want to get shot down for high falutin' lang again It isn't a remark about "you".
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At the end of the day we can all write anything at all in our profiles, I'm sure some are written to deliberately mislead while others might choose to be exposed and honest, but until we get to know the person behind it then the profile is nothing more than some words that may or may not spark a flicker of interest inside us. A "successfully" written profile might reflect how we feel today but tomorrow things may be very different. I can't speak for others but I'm sometimes complex and find it difficult to put into words who I am, etc, so sometimes less is more.
I hadn't really meant people will judge you as a person, I meant more that they will try and judge (rightly or wrongly) what you are trying to say. But the consequence of one will probably result in the other to a certain extent. |
19 Aug 10, 12:23 PM
Rhoobarb
UK(FK), 12 yrs
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OlderWiser wrote:
How they feel?
What moves them?
What human interactions they like?
What makes them feel alive?
How they grow with others?
How they fail to thrive?
Who they admire and why?
Their failings; their strengths; their uncertainties.
What they like in a person - what they feel irritated by?
There's a quick list off the top of my head...
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I've altered your post slightly to reflect how I see it when I quote it.
So your suggestion for an alternative of a list of likes and dislikes... is a list of likes and dislikes?  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." Soren Kierkegaard
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19 Aug 10, 12:24 PM
OlderWiser
2 yrs |
Got it in one - have you read the thread all the way through?
Black0rchid wrote:
OlderWiser wrote:
Lists of things on profiles...
Apologies if this post is not in the right place but I'm not sure where it should be posted.
As I trawl idly through profiles I come across, many have massive lists of likes/ dislikes and it always seems to me that this merely reflects a lack of character or experience on the poster's part.
Almost as if the poster is trying too hard to throw into high relief some form of preference landscape that may or may not be of interest to others. It does anything but tell the reader about the person.
I find the most amusing ones are where deeply perverse likes and dislikes are contiguous with more vanilla offerings.
It is also interesting that this is often characterised by age.
I like to read profiles extremely closely - and yes, some likes correspond with my own and act as a possible hook for correspondence but sometimes I wonder are they really necessary. What else could a poster put to give more of an insight into their personality?
Again, this is not a judgment, merely an observation...
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There again your profile isn't brilliant isn't it, and makes a pretty boring read.
The other thing a lot of other profiles have which tell you about the person, which yours doesn't, is they have taken the trouble to load a photo.
Maybe you know if you loaded a photo nobody would contact you, but there again, that would be very judgmental of me to say thatm and this is not a judgment, merely an observation...
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19 Aug 10, 12:27 PM
tanken
UK(NR), 2 yrs
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I just try to find women with similar interests to me and i think profile lists help a lot 'Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather' - Velvet Underground
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19 Aug 10, 12:51 PM
CuteCorporal
UK, 24 mths |
redgerbil wrote:
I just try to find women with similar interests to me and i think profile lists help a lot
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I have NO access to a private computer at all and cannot edit 'about me' from my 'phone so I am just a 'lister'.
The above comment also provides a representation of my attitude towards my profile - if someone has similar interests to me, we can message eachother and find out more - on a dating website, I'll have a small 'about me' section but on here I like to be more minimalist and save the deep and meaningful for coffee, if I'm lucky enough to meet someone non-judgemental and intelligent with a view to more than just a spanking (giving or receiving) ...
xxx Taste religion, lick a witch!
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