Permanent Partners - Way of Life or Role Play? (37)

I'm in charge and he has the autonomy to work within my parameters and preferences. So for example I like a practical level of protocol at home, he wears clothes I picked and bought but he can choose which to wear unless I want him naked for a reason.

Play with a third party is an option for me. We don't switch, he is sub, but I'd certainly allow him to play with someone else if he had a need to be dominant. Outside the home what we do and how we are is largely invisible to anyone non-bdsm. One of his duties is to push the shopping trolley and if there's something not on the shopping list that he would like or he thinks I would like he draws my attention to it.

Basically it works well for us because we are complimentary opposites.

It's as natural as breathing.

It's not a chore for me when I feel I am 'wired' to be in control. It makes me happy and content.. I don't micromanage, I have found he knows what I expect and desire most of the time, so it needs very little maintenance.

He looked into My eyes, and I almost died. Then I remembered what I was and half killed him.

We don't go for the whole 24/7 thing - something I think is difficult long term (we have known each other for 10 years and lived together for six.) There are always real life things to do, pay bills, work, wash socks and although I am very definitely the submissive, I wouldn't want to be with a dom who didn't value my own personality and intellectual interests and constantly expected me to subsume myself to him.

Having said that, @LordFawcett is very certainly my Master - I wear his collar only and he and I both know that at any time (be it in Debenhams or the cinema) he could ask me to kneel and kiss his feet and I would. I don't think he ever would do this - we both set great store by not making ordinary vanilla people feel uncomfortable - but the knowledge that I would is there, so perhaps you could call that internal 24/7?

In terms of physical playing, we play whenever we can, just each other or with other people. Roleplay for us is a seperate thing to our relationship, it's a way of enhancing the play experience for both of us and that we do frequently. We also play 'normal' BDSM, i/e physical play with no roleplay basis, what you might call straight S&M.

Most couples vary though - the skill comes in making it work for both parties, because all relationships, D/s or not are better for having mutuality and equality, however you define yourself in the hierarchy.

Rapunzel - all round bad girl.... Fawcett Hall Lowewood Academy A Kinky Girl's Guide to Life Follow me on Twitter @FawcettHall (if you have nothing better to do!)

Having control to us means I have the authority to make the decisions. I don't get tired of that and it's actually relaxing knowing that I have that, it frees my time up knowing whatever I've delegated him to do will be done as I wish.

I could micromanage as well and actively direct everything by constantly supervising him but I'd find that tiring. I don't have to actively direct (but I can do it when I want to) as long as he knows exactly what I require.

He works within my parameters so I can get on with something while he gets on with whatever I've delegated him to do. He has areas for which he is responsible. You could have yours take responsibility for taking the dustbin out or if you wished doing the household finances. You would still have the authority over spending without the burden of doing all the accounting.

It makes sense to me to use the talents the sub has and the Dominant make the decision about how things will be done by the sub (has control over the sub and things)rather than the Dominant controlling by doing everything. Does that explain how 24/7 can work?

I don't mae al the decisions, but if I give him a look he knows it as to go my way.

We "play" once or twice a month, children depending. But the rest of the time we use chastity, he wears panties most days, and I wear some corking shoes with 5" heels when ever he is driving! When he is in chastity he opens car doors, helps round the house, and is very attantive to me. Why would I let out when real life distracts him too much! If he has a reason to be out we will discuss, and I may let him out. 223

For us this is 24/7

As we are both switches, normally "dominant" characters outside of home life (she readily admits to being a "stroppy mare" *lol* and I tend to take charge in a group environment, plus we both run our own businesses) we are finding the BDSM side of our lives is essentially "role play", one of us (usually J at the moment) chooses which roles we will play, for a short scene, the evening or the day.

Neither of us can envisage either of us settling permanently into a particular role, though I am finding I am drifiting towards the sub side from my previous almost exclusively Dom role in play scenes with others.

be a switch, double your fun

Yes... but not in full-time 'role play' of course! It is more to do with attitude in our heads; I very much doubt anyone else could tell.

Sometimes we do things more in public, but that is kind of more consciously 'play' or more consciously pushing the boundaries, lol. Like we might go out with wearing a collar and lead, but it's something we would do specifically for a certain emotional effect, it's not an everyday part of our life. Some stuff is I guess kind of public, things such as choosing a meal or drink, who makes decisions etc, but once again I really doubt anyone would notice anything unusual about this. We've also done 'public' stuff for example with me not letting him to sit on furniture in public (like if I was sitting on a bench he'd have to sit on the floor) but again this isn't a regular practice, more of the exception. I guess the only thing we quite often do in public is bare feet or flip-flops (whatever the weather/conditions) which someone could theoretically look at and think 'a bit D/s' if they happened to be kinky themselves.

I'd say it's constant in intensity but doesn't always manifest itself in the same forms. A lot of the explicitly 'kinky' stuff is more about what's a turn-on. (although not always.) Sometimes we do more physical stuff like caging or other forms of restraint which isn't always sexual play, but I wouldn't class it as role play either. It's just something we enjoy.

Not personally on either of those counts (I can't even begin to think about how difficult it must be to be a switch in a full-time D/s relationship! it makes my head spin! @_@)

I think my relationship is like that, except the 'normal' part is D/s. The 'role play' is more the physical and explicitly kinky stuff.

I couldn't cope with a relationship like that, it'd do my head in, but can appreciate others feel differently!

I really enjoy playing out of doors, but it's not something I've done much of. I like the risk element but don't want to take it to ridiculous extremes. If we want to play out of doors we will generally make an effort to choose somewhere secluded where other people are not likely to surprise us

For in front of others, I don't mind at all to do this at a club, but I don't get any special kick out of it either. Nor do we involve third parties.

I am actually searching at the moment for another sub but that is for a specific purpose very different from my relationship. I will likely 'reward' them with by indulging some fetishes in the 'play' sense and my partner/slave can be present or not, it does not make much difference to me as I intend this kind of play to be physical only, without psychological or emotional involvement to any great degree. (only the minimum necessary for safety and mutual enjoyment.) I don't have any desire for 'threesome role play' (I mean in the BDSM sense, not the sexual).

Actually maybe that is a slight lie as I've often fantasised about a spot of forced bi for my slave but I can't honestly speak for real as that is at present only a fantasy. Also that is quite common I believe so nothing particularly unusual in a psychological sense.

"Be quiet and come with me. I won't betray you."