Permanent Partners - Way of Life or Role Play? (37)

Our position is that my partner and I role play, either for a whole evening or attempting to make a whole weekend of it (not yet succeeded, one of us chickens out first). I could not perceive of living that way permanently. We have been to femdom sites, read some books, but it doesn't appeal as a way of life to either of us.

So, do you operate "full-time" as master-slave/domme-sub ? Does anybody go so far as to carry that into public life? Is the intensity of it constant, or do you have a "soft" M/s or D/s relationship most of the time and then have role plays within it where things get physical? Does anyone in this position switch? And do any people "play" with third parties as well?

How many of us do just role play from time to time with a "normal" relationship the rest of the time? Is it the case where the sub in the role play is the natural dominant in the normal relationship? How far does the role play go in terms of location - does it extend out of the home? We go to the woods for a good beating, but a very private place. We don't go to clubs, as we don't want to share it with anyone else. But how many role players do it in front of others, or even involve third parties.

I'm only looking for posts from people in permanent relationships. Those who just "date" (whether in a "normal" or "BDSM" sense) will have completely different outlooks.

If you feel this post is too intrusive then please follow Thumper's advice: "If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all. "

When we're alone or with some people in the scene it is more obvious than when we're with other friends or some family, partly so as not to make them uncomfortable but partly so it doesn't make us uncomfortable either.

He's always in charge and i'm always his.

(As an aside, as i'm sure it'll come up: the way we live our life is right for us. It's not better than the way others live theirs, nor is it worse, it's just the way that's the best for us.)

m, x

I am a bad person
@Manchester
@Modified_Bodies

Dystopia
Ultraviolence

What he does around the house ( I usually have a spot of labour after work.. It was the porch gutters the other night) What he eats, who we see etc etc, is usually always decided by me, with discussion if it's appropriate.

Then there is play, again, I am always in charge of every situation, the when, where and how.

I think we live a 24/7 life. We both know our roles and where we fit in, and just because it is not obvious to the casual eye much of the time, does not make it any less powerful for us.

He looked into My eyes, and I almost died. Then I remembered what I was and half killed him.

However I don't consider us to be o&p or d/s or 24/7 or anything like that. I just prefer to be in charge and it makes his life a while lot easier if he does what I want him to but I suppose I do kind of consider him to be my property. I've never really been one for labels though.

"Have people always been this angry? I've got this really funny idea that before the internet people would just write FUCK YOU! and attach it to pigeons" - Russell Howard

Edited 18 Aug 10, 12:15 PM by Miss_Hardy

It's not a conscious decision to do it, it's just the way things work out. There isn't any need for role playing. Role playing is really a fun play thing to do.

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When we are together she is my possession and that is how we live.

It's easy, mostly, because it reflects who we are.

It's easier, probably, because every other day and every other weekend we have time away from each other - meaning we don't have to live it every waking moment.

This might mean our time together is higher protocol than it would be if we were in each other's pockets 24/7 - but i think we'd still be living it, if that were the case - maybe just not so large though.

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The only thing I can't write about is very long term. I was married for 19 years but the D/s side wore off and it wasn't a happy marriage but I do know that studies show that about 10% of couples in long term marriages under brain scans show the same feelings of excitement over their sexual partner as in the first phase. I rather wish that were 90% but being an optimist I will hope I'm in the 10% category whoever I end up with.

Did he get fat?

Dystopia
Ultraviolence

More recently we have decided to move to a purely Femdom dynamic between us. Balzac is now permenantly locked in a steel chastity device and after the children are in bed becomes subservient to Cerys. We are now in the forth week of this and it is working really well. The under current of D/s does add a real excitement to our dialy life.

The D/s does not extend to our every day life however where we like the equality of our relationship and would not want to change it.

D/s outside of such relationships seems a little like play acting to me. With short periods of intense d/s interspersed between peoples "normal" lives.

There are ways to attempt to lessen this disparity. I.E Tasks when apart or a continuing communication and protocol but in the end I think this can still can't compare.

(These are only my opinions based on my own experiences, I don't deign to pass judgement on anyone else's relationships.)

Theodore Bikel: "All too often arrogance accompanies strength, and we must never assume that justice is on the side of the strong. The use of power must always be accompanied by moral choice."