Male submissive pride (40)

What's harder for me is being submissive in public. Especially femdom events. I'm not there to be submissive to everything that is the owner operator of a vagina. That tacit assumption by folks just rubs me up the wrong way. Being told by women to get off furniture etc. I think male submission comes along with some very, very incorrect assumptions by most. Even those in scene. Those assumptions are what makes it difficult to be submissive in public. as, some treat you as weak. Submission for me should come from a place of strength. It takes a lot of strength to be submissive in a relationship. However, the tacit assumption amongst a lot of people seems to be that it's a weakness.

I'm not the kind of guy that goes around fetishising 'submission' in and of itself for its own sake. I get no kicks from prostrating myself at the feet of strangers, or using them as some kind of fantasy fulfillment vessel. I'm in no way submissive outside of my relationship with my Domme. I like it that way. To be any other way sort of cheapens it for me. Submission isn't a fantasy to be fulfilled. To have the assumption thrust upon you that you're somehow desperate to be submissive, to anyone with a vagina, infuriates me. It's the femdom equivelant of 'kneel bitch'. What infuriates me more is male submissives who actively encourage this behaviour. The whole stereotypical male submission thing reaks of desperation. That's not exactly the most attractive of traits. Desperate male submissives really need to get a clue. It's just sad that there are so many of them.

Male submission has lots of horrible mainstream cultural misconceptions. It has lots of ridiculous stereotypes. They hurt both men and women. Femdom is *really* broken. I mean, you'd think it'd be the one scene where misogyny is non-existent. Yet, it's everywhere.

Am I proud to call myself a male submissive?

I'm a switch. I'm dominant in some relationships and submissive in others. No one is submissive in everything they do and the same is true of dominance. So, it's not really an identity. It's a way of describing power within a relationship. 'I'm submissive to....(insert name)' or 'I seek to be the submissive partner in relationships' is what I would say. Not 'I am a male submissive. Then again, I am a switch.

It also depends who's listening and what they think I mean. I'm just proud to be me. I'm proud to be submissive to the woman I love. It doesn't mean I want to even identify as a male submissive in public. Male submission and the Femdom world as a whole suffers from mucho bullshit and exploitation from both men and women. I don't want that to be a part of my life. I'd rather build relationships than worry about labelling myself to fit into a scene I think is pretty broken. I've always thought it better to stand out from a crowd than be sublimated by it. My sense of belonging comes from those I love. Not people I probably only tolerate.

PS: I love Bitchy Jones. I wish she'd take up blogging again.

Hey,

don't let this post put you off joining the local scene.

The scene is what you make of it. It's got some wonderful people in it. To throw the baby out with the bath water in this instance is completely counter productive. You have to take the good with the bad. For everyone who will treat you with disrespect there are 4 other people who you will probably get on with.

The glasgow scene is really good actually. Perhaps the most vibrant and varied in Scotland. I first came out on the Glasgow scene and you will be given a warm welcome.

...however doesn't that imply that if you're not in a relationship then you're not submissive. I'm still submissive even if I don't have a domme, just means I don't get a chance to exercise it. On the same logic, I'm still straight even if I don't have a girlfriend.

I see submissive/dominant as words that describe what you look for in a relationship, what turns you on etc.

...but I digress, I get what you're trying to get at.

I'll say "I am a male submissive" for brevity's sake :P