When is it right to commit to A Domme? (19)

Spot on...

Reverse the above for me i.e replace the word "Domme" with "sub".

Remember...friends on the Scene are really important! Not only do they potentially lead to partnerships, but they can also warn you off potential mistakes, and provide mutual support when things aren't going smoothly (every path has its pitfalls).

So, go forth and multiply (your friends! )

Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost)
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new (A. Einstein)
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius

Excuse me? "Commit" for the next few weeks???? Some commitment that!!!

Oooooh Aaaaah We're loving it!

This is where the being a nice guy comes in. I have often said I will look for someone at Fairs. Sometimes I don't manage to find them. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I see the same people over and over and eventually you speak to each other about something. Sometimes I arrange to meet people there specifically and exchange phone numbers (ok, I've only done that once, lol)

Sometimes I look for the specific person I've seen at other events or there before. But they don't know who they are coz Im shy.

As for being "looked at" - maybe because you looked interesting? If not, what were you doing? I think a person feels very self-conscious when alone, but to be honest, the markets are the BEST place to go alone as there are all the stalls to look at.

Make sure that you are presentable. Do some research on etiquette at clubs/events, and just use your common sense. Are you drooling over someone and following them around? Are you standing too close and obviously trying to overhear a conversation? Are you constantly trying to meet someones eyes to give them a "meaningful message"? (sorry, just creepy.) If people are playing, do you stand and stare closely, or do you maintain a respectful distance?

I've been to events and been followed around. It is very annoying. If my "F@*k off and die" look (which seems to be my normal look at events anyway, I hear) doesn't work, I just wait until I run out of patience, they are standing (or sitting next to me for the umpteenth time ) and then just say "if you are going to follow me around, you might as well tell me your name". They tend to leave me alone after I explain what a Sadist I am.

My point is - if someone looks interesting, why not tell them? Staring and following people around is just creepy. You probably don't do any of the creepy things, gaz.

Make conversation - it isn't about only talking to Dommes you are interested in, it is about meeting people in general. Talk to the people at the stalls - ask questions. Watch the workshops. Be a regular and see the same faces. You get to know them. I know such lovely people - from seeing them at the markets and seeing them at events and eventually striking up conversations with them.

It is hard to go someplace alone. But you did it. And you will do it again. Because that is how it works. You will see that it only takes a couple times and you won't be alone there.

Camberley, Surrey, BDSM Play Party - 20 August - http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/278057/:
Life is not measured by the breaths we take. but by the moments that take our breath. - Anon.
Road Trip to the Sea in October!!!http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/270339/1/...

Edited 7 Aug 10, 1:14 PM by Ama_Sidero

Then everything went pearshaped, no matter how much I attempted to woo her, nothing was going to satisfy her but my submission and to support, with others, although their existence was never proved her lifestyle by way of domestic service. All this based on Elise Sutton's ,'loving Female Authority' which I don't have any problem with , recognising it is just an aspect of her life,Elise's that is.

So no relationship, I am under instruction to make my own way in the world of bdsm, she has disappeared.

So, I'll just carry on and may be meet a Domme who likes, at least initially to be wooed, nothing wrong weith that!

educating, famiarising , orientation

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." H. L. Mencken

People naturally don't like desperate people when it comes to looking for a partner.

Many people seem to think that you can register on a site like IC and within minutes find the perfect relationship! It simply doesn't happen that way.

I knew about IC for many years when I was living in London, I just didn't want to register and create a profile here back then. Saying that I would log in as a guest and check local events and would attend munches and go to a few clubs with friends - I was a lot younger then obviously. I have been relatively active on and off on the scene since I was about 21 and first realised there's a name for people like me and it's perfectly normal to be how I am.

I would regularly attend the London munch and back then there was no LAM but I'd go to the LFF every month too. I'd go alone usually and would arrange to meet up with folk there. I was a regular on the #ukbdsm chatroom on IRC and have met many people there and have a lot of real life friendships from folk I met through that chatroom. In fact, that is how I met Master - neither of us were looking for a relationship as we'd both come out of relationships and weren't actively looking to start something up so soon.

However, we fell for eachother purely through personality and decided to meet within the week. I travelled from London to Bath to visit for the day and spent the night then went up the following weekend. From there it went from casual weekend visits to regular weekend visits, spending more time together, talking every day on the phone. Gradually it got more serious and we went away for weekends or for the week. He invited me to a Uni friend's wedding, I went to the South of France with Him and His family. He then proposed....

Sure, we started off initially with casual play - two perverts enjoying eachother's company, but we would talk for hours on the phone too. I would meet His friends, He met mine. Just like with any relationship it starts from an initial interest then moves on from there. However, in my opinion there has to be more than just pure BDSM - There has to be some interest in the person too. Just as you cannot base a relationship purely on sex, you cannot base it purely on BDSM. What would happen if, for some reason, one or the other was unable to play anymore. Then where would you be?

There are also plenty of folk on here who will freely tell you that they've been active on the scene for 10+ years until they met their partner, some even longer than that.

As a young female submissive I had interest shown from people wanting to play with me but I didn't necessarily want to play with all of them and didn't. I didn't meet Himself until about 6 years on the scene... And I wasn't nearly as active as some of the others on here! Just ask some of the poor male subs constantly looking for the perfect female Domme...

It's like any other relationship. It takes time. Especially as you're looking in a more specialised field it may even take longer.

I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine I get loud, I get proud and it gets worse Well, if I have one, I'll have thirteen Naw, there ain't no in-between 'Cause, the more I drink, the more I drink.

I'll bear your advice in mind.

educating, famiarising , orientation

Not an easy question

When I first discovered IC and posted, I was taken on the day my photo was cleared, which just happened to be my birthday. I had read every word written here by the Lady and I just knew it was right. As it turned out, it was right, for a year or so. But nilla life crowded in on her and she passed me to another. I was so upset at the loss that I just went along with it. This was a time of S & M, especially CBT. But, poor thing, she ended up in hospital and let me go.

On the rebound, I went to a professional, but soon became her daytime houseboy/personal slave. . I had to travel and the relationship continued a while online, unlit, after long correspondence, I was offered a chance to be personal slave 24/7 for another professional. It was a very severe and restrictive regime and I would have loved it except that the domme was such a preposterous actress and poseure that I could not help laughing out loud from time to time. She put me on the street!

Since then, a careful correspondence has led to a further, online, relationship, which was probably the most intense and real of them all, concentating on mind control and pain, and constant progress and intensification of the relationship.

Now I'm looking again. There is a point, even with correspondence alone, when one can tell there is something there, a possibility of a real symbiosis..I can't describe it, but there comes the moment when one just KNOWS.