is being respectful to the young so hard?? (93)

People put other people down for all sorts of reasons. Doesn't make it right, but does make it a fact of life that you have to find ways of dealing with.

There are few things which are less appealing than being entirely convinced that you're the most hard-done-by person in the world. If you get to know people as people, you'll find most don't simply look at age but at the person. I certainly do - I have friends on the scene, people I enjoy spending time with, aged from their 20s to their 60s and everywhere in between too.

Respect goes both ways and doesn't (generally) include spending lots of time whining that everyone's being horrible to you because of your age - it tends to put people's backs up - including people who actually weren't being horrible.

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates

Edited 1 Aug 10, 2:30 PM by Iphis_me

Bull shit... we've had 'young' people saying that only the under 35 are sexy, exciting and worthy of going to certain event ... which is complete and utter shite as im 107 and im still damn fucking sexy....

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

There are many people I respect on the scene young and old there is also a Dom 10 years my junior who is one of the few people who can actually shut me up take note and listen.

There is also a sub on here who is approx 13 years my junior who I respect I don't think she realises her full potential in life yet and that's not being condescending that's me observing someone.

There is also those who I thought I trusted one 100% who I defended who have now shown me otherwise that doesn't mean to say I still don't respect them I do. I just don't like the way they treat people but then there are other people who feel the same way about me.

That's kind of the point it doesn't really matter if people respect you or not as long as you have respect for yourself.

Another one bites the dust.

I'm 46 in October. That means that statistically I will be topped by people younger than myself. The youngest was two days shy of his 20th Birthday and he was vary good. Current Dom is 28 and he's broken limits previous play partners didn't get near.

IME of the NW Scene, the 'Under 35s' are creative, inclusive of all ages socially and know more about a lot of things than I do. Dystopia speaks for itself.

When organising a munch I was always grateful to have students there as they looked after the younger newcomers who were yet to discover that all ages forged friendships and were still socially conditioned to seek out their peers.

So, please don't tar all middle aged with the same brush, age doesn't seem to come into BDSM and its social network, we rub along just fine.

How does that work, then? If everyone is looking disrespectfully at everyone else, no one would actually get to know anyone and we'd all be dissing each other rather than making friends. Or have I taken it too literally?

I come at life the opposite way - mutual respect should be afforded from the outset. It's very rare that I actually get to the point that I have no respect left for someone. That can be taken wrongly as a 'doormat' situation and that's usually what causes me to close off.

Maybe my own approach is also too extreme.

I come at life the opposite way - mutual respect should be afforded from the outset. [/quote]

i couldn't agree more. i was always brought up to believe you get the respect back that you give at the start of any type of relationship. By that i mean everything from a business phone call to a deep loving partnership. It hasn't done me any harm. Had a few knocks but just get up and continue with life in general.

i bow to the superiors richgoldie1,

The reason is sometimes you meet people they are maybe nervous etc don't make the greatest impression in life but further meeting of those people can show them in a different light and you gain respect for them.

There are people on here who are greatly respected who I disagree so much so I wouldn't piss on them if they where on fire.

Another one bites the dust.

I think you are talking about two different things - which is why I agree with you both.

Initially, you offer people a default amount of respect which is really more about respecting everybody's private integrity and falls closer to "courtesy" - whereas as you learn to know people, some will fall on your negative side while others will earn an increased amount of personalised respect, simply because they prove themselves to be admireable individuals.

At least that's how it works for me.

I expect so. I think we also have our own ways of resonding to people due to a similar concept. This is getting too deep for a Sunday .... let's go back to the O/P ....

There are different levels and different forms of respect.

There are usually those one or two people who you respect so much that you approach them for advise on just about any problem you have.

Then there are those who you respect and admire, but perhaps you don't know too well or they're an expert in a particular area.

Then there are those friends who work differently from you but you understand why they are the way they are and you respect them for it.

There are those people who you don't particularly like their character, but you can't help but respect what they do in some area of another.

Then there are those people you just meet and you respect them as an individual. As has been noted, this respect is basically on the same level as courtesy.

Then there are those who you simply don't respect.

Claims of ageism against the U35 munch have been rife - and you can't imagine how peeved I would be about a munch where you had to be older than a particular age to get in. That is why the U35 is ubiquitous because it's "young at heart".

Older folk, don't mock and remember you were there once. Feeling like you're on the bottom rung can be tough.

Younger folk, you're probably being judged to be inexperienced because you are. Remember, getting older comes with difficulties too, but you're the next wave and the vast majority of people older than you do want to help.

As I said earlier, find me someone who is respected just because they're older than you and I'll give you a cookie. My point is that it doesn't work like that and age is 100% irrelevant.

Kisses to all you fabioso people!
Patrick
IW
(Next London U35 Munch Details)