1 Aug 10, 6:25 PM
AKAele
UK, 2 yrs
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I am also going to be devils advocate here, if you want someone to be interested in you as a person rather than your 'kink' then really your profile should be about those other things you think may be appealing to the type of person you are looking for.
I disagree that older Doms are less inclined to be pushy, it is nothing to do with age just that some 'men' like the idea of kinky sex and assume that the females on such sites must be 'horny and gagging for it'. So, if you prefer men around your own age then there is nothing wrong with that, stick to it.
Keep your intimate details out of your profile and only discuss your likes and dislikes with those that are interesting enough to get past the first few memos/chats. Put the rest on ignore.
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1 Aug 10, 11:16 PM
DirtyLullaby
UK(EC), 23 mths
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bound4mistress wrote:
DirtyLullaby wrote:
People have a range of reasons for not wanting to play/have a relationship with a person over (or indeed under a certain age). To make it a hard point would be childish and ageist. But take me for instance I have had a D/s relationship with a 48 year old man. The reason this relationship didn't work out was that every time we had sex pictures of my Da would pop into my head and I'd be unable to continue enjoying my self. No body want's to be in their happy place and have their birth Da pop into their head with a big grin and go 'he's old enough to be me. Have fun and don't forget to use contraception'. So beyond that point in my life I looked for some one no older than about 30ish (note the -ish) for my own mental stability.
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If I may ask, what made you get involved in the first place, some kind of peer pressure? may be.
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2 reasons mutual attraction and mutual interests. We were drinking buddies before and are once again. Possibly peer pressure 'not' to encouraged the start of the relationship.
I suppose the problem is that this is dangerous game we play. We dick around with control and emotion. You never know what you dig up till you get there. Some times you dig something up that you just can't get past (maybe at that time). I still have complete trust in him. It is my problem and both of understand this so there are no hard feelings.
The point however was that some folks just CAN'T play with folks much older than themselves. The same way some people CAN'T play with people of the same sex. Horses, courses. Reasons, rhymes. There are three kinds of turd in this world. Cus-turd, Mus-turd and you yer big Shit!
(Quote my Great Uncle Bubbles favorite saying.)
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1 Aug 10, 11:29 PM
Eleuther
UK(DH), 3 yrs
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MantaFirefly wrote:
A distinct lack of feedback is an issue as well. The usual method when something wrong has been said is to simply never reply. Which isn't the best learning experience for those of us trying to work out how best to start a conversation.
Why didn't she respond? Was it my message? was it my profile? Is this a user who never checks memos? Even a rude put down at least gives us something to work with.
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Just_Jan wrote:
The only tip I could give is read the memo senders profile BEFORE you read the memo. If you don't like what you read on their profile don't even read the memo. You do NOT have to read the memo, you do NOT have to reply.
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Go not to I.C. for counsel, for it will say both no and yes... Edited 1 Aug 10, 11:30 PM by Eleuther
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1 Aug 10, 11:29 PM
varietyclub
22 mths
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QuietlyComfortable wrote:
I'm a sub, and Doms piss me off...
...am I ever going to find love?
Has anyone else ever felt this way?
I love being dominanted in the bedroom. I crave it.
In a long-term, well-established relationship, I enjoy domination in a 24/7 context (although we all have shades of grey)
But nothing puts my back up more when I meet a man than if he trys to control or dominate me.
I know I'm not the one with the problem, and that there are plenty of Doms out there who are gentlemanly and will not assert themselves until they have developed a relationship. But equally, there are plenty who are pretty assertive from day one, and these sorts tend to get their heads bitten off whenever they message me.
As a sub advertising on a BDSM website, I feel this is rather unfair of me. Should I change?
I just find it so insulting when a man gets in touch to say (for example) that he'd love to go for a drink and salivate at the thought of my breasts in ropes all evening - this person has never met me before, why should they be allowed to say that?
Why does this make me so angry? Any ideas/thoughts/comments?
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What !! just your breasts in ropes you lucky ungracious, unworthy and ungreatfull git.
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1 Aug 10, 11:50 PM
Eleuther
UK(DH), 3 yrs
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Just_Jan wrote:
Eleuther wrote:
MantaFirefly wrote:
A distinct lack of feedback is an issue as well. The usual method when something wrong has been said is to simply never reply. Which isn't the best learning experience for those of us trying to work out how best to start a conversation.
Why didn't she respond? Was it my message? was it my profile? Is this a user who never checks memos? Even a rude put down at least gives us something to work with.
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Just_Jan wrote:
The only tip I could give is read the memo senders profile BEFORE you read the memo. If you don't like what you read on their profile don't even read the memo. You do NOT have to read the memo, you do NOT have to reply.
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Go not to I.C. for counsel, for it will say both no and yes...
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Well when you read a profile and its the exact opposite of what your profile states that you would like or seek , then you bet a £ to a pinch of shite that its some fool
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Ruling out all profiles that don't meet one's dating search criteria isn't going to work for people who treat this as a social as well as a dating site. Yes, the numbers are unfavourable; but as you said, you've got to pan for the gold. |
1 Aug 10, 11:54 PM
spirifer
UK, 6 yrs
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Perhaps you're not actually submissive? Ah semen. What is it about that ridiculous white secretion that pulls down the corners of an Englishman's mouth?
The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation - Pierre Trudeau
A denizen of a right little, tight little island.
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2 Aug 10, 12:10 AM
Scarlet_Cheex
UK(NE), 5 yrs
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QuietlyComfortable wrote:
I'm a sub, and Doms piss me off...
...am I ever going to find love?
Has anyone else ever felt this way? |
Yes.
And yes.
I've arrived at the conclusion that, not only do Doms piss me off, but I actually piss them off quite a lot too. Mostly because my ego tends to be even larger than their's is 
Why alter or compromise your persona?
There's nothing 'unsubly' about choosing only to submit to those whom you actually respect, admire, and deem to be more dominant than you are 
xxx
Edited 2 Aug 10, 12:14 AM by Scarlet_Cheex
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