This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Fri 30 Jul 10, 5:20 PM maya_lila UK(SE), 4 yrs |
To be clear in what I'm asking, I mean to what extent does the dominant partner exert control over the submissive half in your individual relationship? Do you have many rules? In many areas of your lives? Or regular tasks? What kind of framework works for you?
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
~ George Eliot | |
| 30 Jul 10, 8:21 PM DancesWithPussycats UK(TW), 7 yrs   |
I tell her what to do, and if she feels like it she does it. International man of mystery | |
| 30 Jul 10, 9:46 PM VGTsangel UK(NP), 9 yrs |
For Viking and I, we do not have many rules at all now, though we used to have. As we've developed together there seems less need. I know what makes Him happy and I love doing just that. I always cook for Him, always prepare a drink for him, always look after him in any way I can. We have, I guess, a kind of 50's style marriage in a way, with a very kinky side thrown in now and then. As with all aspects, real life sometimes puts pay to kinky 'play times'. But when it does happen, it feels very very special. Not sure if this helps, just my take on things. angel His angel, well most of the time! | |
| 31 Jul 10, 9:03 AM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs      |
Ritual is the foundation of our dynamic. But the rituals become absorbed and part of life. So, it feels natural. We live in an altered normality. It feels good. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | |
| 31 Jul 10, 10:38 PM PapaSmurf UK(CF), 19 mths |
That's very reminiscent of what @Top_Class was saying the other day. _______________ | |
| 1 Aug 10, 12:04 AM Grownup_Frankie UK, 3 yrs |
My Wife Is Always Right. A simple rule. ...A golden rule.
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| 1 Aug 10, 12:55 AM Coryman UK(PO), 8 yrs |
I had a DD relationship a few years ago and we did not have many rules, except that we would both respect each other and that however irritated we got we would never resort to verbal abuse. If she chose to undertake some study or work outside the home, she would stick to it and it was my job to see that she did. To maintain my dominance and spanking rights I had to earn her respect by doing everything to the best of my ability. We shared the house work if we were both working. Even with so few rules there was never a day went by without her getting spanked, for discipline when she stepped over the mark, for therapy against depression, or to maintain her position of submissiveness. The disciplinary spankings were harsh, whilst the others were adjusted to her needs. It all worked rather well and had us fully in tune much of the time. Coryman | |
| 1 Aug 10, 1:57 PM not_lost_still_lady UK(PE), 18 mths      |
At the start there are standard rules that will apply till the end and others get added as and when. Eventually the rules need not be referred to as it becomes second nature, like stirring His coffee ten times one way and then ten times the other. "Hit me" said the masochist. "No" said the sadist. | |
| 1 Aug 10, 3:15 PM dangerousdonkey 2 yrs |
We have certain rules I have to adhere to or I am punished. Sometimes there are lots of rules, sometimes less so, it waxes and wanes depending on needs and desires, time and family constraints. There is always ritual at bedtime, a time to reconnect after the vanilla of day to day. | |
| 1 Aug 10, 8:09 PM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
We are somewhere in between. My virgo ascendant likes lists, and clear rules and, erm, lists of rules. Whereas Himself likes to be fluid, and adaptable and not to get tied down (heheh) with O&P style formal rules. I can't help it though, slave contracts turn me on. Just reading the rules back does it for me. So at present, we have a little list, of the most basic rules and everything else is open to discussion. subbie xxx | |
| 3 Aug 10, 9:25 AM MariaB UK(GU), 6 yrs |
I would say that this is more or less us except I'm not or at least don't consider myself submissive. I do however, enjoy looking after my hard working man. He is naturally quite demanding but his demands as far as I'm concerned are all perfectly reasonable and has helped to bring harmony to our happy home. We are both very consistent in what we bring to the relationship and we both have a huge amount of respect and admiration of each other. Our lifestyle (apart from the sexual side) is never put away in the closet and only brought out when other family members can't see it. In other words we don't play at cowboys and Indians! Its just an accepted and respected way of being. Only this way can we remain consistent
Our new web sites www.edgeplay.co.uk and www.thehitachimagicwand.co.uk |
