Addicted to fantasy (9)

The high flyier scaling the heights of the corporate ladder daydreams - of the next rung.

The Tibetan monk deep in meditation daydreams of astrally projecting...just...that...little...bit...furrrrr.. ..thhhhher.

And what are we to 'make of our lives'? and who for? What are we to measure the success or failure of our lives against? When we look deep deep at our lives, aren't they exactly how we have constructed them?

Where does daydreaming stop and reality start, for a species that lives both in the physical world of matter and in the symbolic world of thought?

Edited 27 Jul 10, 1:47 AM by Grownup_Frankie

You know I always find these posts of yours troubling ( ), if only because i wish i could subscribe to your way of thought but find I just can't.

You said:

Of course, and then you look at the ripples that have spread out from each of your past actions and how they have, in turn, affected each person they have touched. It is not enough to be content with the person you are. History judges things not just by their impact at the time, but by the changes an event or person caused to take place in the many years that follow it. We all have a history. We all leave ripples. We must all judge ourselves by the harm we cause to others, not by the serenity we achieve for ourselves.

I'm sorry Frankie: To me, your way is as anaesthetically reassuring and isolating as Aldous Huxley's soma.

Really sorry to say it.

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

Edited 27 Jul 10, 9:28 AM by Belasarius

Edited 27 Jul 10, 1:03 PM by Scribbles

Frankie and I are i think at one o'clock and eleven o'clock - an awful long way apart if you travel one way round the clock and darn close if you go the other.

We've had these chats before too - and see each others point of view.

And, yes, I don't think popularity means a thing. other than you please others - which is not what i meant in my response at all

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

I've thought of a clearer way to express what I was trying to say to you.

You've got to be a popular gal, really, haven't you? Not short of potential opportunities, I would guess. Not short of would-be play partners with which to explore almost anything you want to explore - surely any fantasy you have could be, with relatively little (apparent) effort, made into 'flesh', as it were.

Now, if that is so, then you have to ask yourself what is preventing you from acting upon these opportunities.

Its like being in a little village somewhere and wanting to escape to the city. There are no guards on the gate, so you could leave the village at any time. There is a regular bus and rail service that would take you from the village to any city you want. You've even packed ready for your journey. You've cancelled the milk and papers.

But still you don't go. One day you decide this is the day, but its raining, so you postpone it. Another day you decide this is it!, but the train looks a bit scruffy when it pulls into the station so you think, oh, I'll leave it for another day.

The next day the bus is quite packed so you decide to wait til the next one. By this time its tea-time and you're feeling a bit peckish so you go back home.

on the third day the omens are bad, a two headed calf was born in the next village and Thelma at the post office said she saw an eagle flying backwards above the village hall.

You see that there is no real common factor in the excuses you give yourself for not leaving. Look deeper. What MUST be the real reason for why you don't do things that you know you COULD do, and that you think you want to do?

It has to be that you want something else MORE. Whats keeping you in the village? whats keeping you in the life you live?

It might just be that you actually LIKE living in the village. Which is what I mean when I say that sometimes we already have constructed the life we 'need', but are still in the habit of being disatisfied and wanting more.

Especially if more is on offer.

Its like, we nag at ourselves about why, why, why we don't do X or Y, but truthfully - and it has to be the truth really - its because we don't want to do X or Y, there's no real need. Or we would do them.

Edited 29 Jul 10, 11:53 AM by Grownup_Frankie

Perhaps a bit like him, I tend to have daydreams that are deliberately impossible. I learned about 20 years ago that if I allow myself to get too attached to an idea that's possible but daft, or ill-advised shall we say, my strength/weakness of will forces me to try to make it real, and I can lose my grip on what's what. For example I fantasised about a boy at school so much that I made a play for him, when he was someone who, if I'd really known him, as a person rather than a fantasy, I'd have realised was totally unsuitable.

If I indulge in fantasies, they have to involve 5-legged unicorns and talking flowers, because otherwise I'll try to make them come true.

I wasn't sure if you were a thinker decrying your lack of action, whereas action to a philosopher is thought itself - speculation, calculation, study, fascination, flights of the imagination, far-sightedness, and a sense of coming to orgasmic conclusions.

So I thought possibly your village was a place where you were allowed to think, and so naturally you don't want to leave it because thinking is so much fun. I mean, I know you like thinking, and then tinkering some more with your thinking.

*smile*

Edited 29 Jul 10, 11:45 PM by Grownup_Frankie