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| felis_silvestris |
I have to wonder why, after a time, I hate myself for being the way I am. for enjoying the things that I do, for making what seem like bad choices and decisions.
I thought that at my age, I could deal with these things - mostly I wake up in the morning and forgive myself daily for the things I'm not proud of; but I've always been proud of myself in my submission and sexual tastes. Not ashamed of them and yet not sharing them to save others the embarassment of seeing my pride.
So why then, am I not feeling great about it this morning. Why am I craving something more...
Perhaps because what is largely available in this world isn't wholesome, it doesn't have the right balance of love, affection, adoration and filth. It just seems largely an excuse for promiscuity, playing around, casual sex.... nothing deeper, nothing more meaningful or wholesome... it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Shame really, it has such potential too.
| 26 Jul 10, 6:21 AM The_Colonel_Whatwhat 3 yrs  |
Why hate yourself? You are doing the best you can and sometimes that just means learning by your mistakes. Its been a while now since I embraced my kinky side and if there is one thing I've discovered it is that the relationship is more important than the kink. Fine. That means I'm not a lifestyler or fully fledged or whatever. My life, my rules. That doesn't mean I could go back to vanilla but it does mean that I recognise my needs are greater than the need to play. I have to have the connection too. I know, its weird. It surprised me too. So relax.. and live your life not someone else's I came, I saw, I concurred |
| 10 Apr 11, 11:22 PM Elan2007 UK(B), 5 yrs |
Hhhhhhmmm! - Maybe That seems a scintilla pessimistic! - Life is what you make it - And Damn the torpedoes! -   Elan |
