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| Caracal |
on Mon 19 Jul 10, 9:04 PM to Caracal's blog.
An erection in two seconds was what I was promised and I was suckered in by the slick tale of ease and simplicity.
Smiling to myself and thinking that the days of the wrong things going in the wrong holes were over, never would this mistake be made again with one of these. I'd had so many frustrating experiences in the past with loss of rigidity, a sagging droop and inappropriate leakage after a strong blow, and this promised to alleviate them once and forevermore. What more could a woman want than to have such reliability? So I handed over my money, hoping for satisfaction and felt a sense of quiet serenity.
Sliding My 2 Second Friend (M2SF for short)I carefully into my car Smirk, he settled down quickly, hardly taking up any room in his unassuming, pre-erectile guise, nestling amongst the bedding and off we set for our first great adventure - one of many I hoped.
We arrived at our destination and after careful scrutiny for comfort, I selected the place for the first of M2SF experiences. I swiftly unzipped him, peeling back the tight fitting skin and laid him gently down. With a firm grip, I grasped him and shook him into the promised erection.
Wow, 2 second to full erection was the promise and he delivered in absolute fullness and to satisfaction. My oh my, this was going to be fun as he was even bigger than I'd imagined (oh believe me, in some cases size matters
) and certainly promised to be a great 4 nights with M2SF.
I got dressed to suit the mood, some black leather jeans and a soft black top, I settled down to enjoy M2SF with a glass of red wine, some good music and softly scented candles to shed a flickering glow to the surroundings. Oh that first night was sheer joy, after the satisfaction of the erection, I slept for hours, awaking to gentle sunlight peeking over the horizon and filtering into my bedroom.
It was a busy day ahead, lots to do and see, I reluctantly left M2SF behind and went off for breakfast. I couldn't stay away for long though, I kept returning to M2SF to check he was ok, ensuring that there was plenty of food and drink to keep us going in comfort and some style. It was a full day, lots to see and do. M2SF was, by this time, in good company and not quite so solitary. We'd have to be more quiet than the night before, less making of sweet music for sure...
The nights passed, I used M2SF often, he proved to be a good protector and I was happy to retreat to his welcome to recover from the experiences of the days. There was the ultimate foot worship – done by feet nibbling fish (Try it!), I saw my favourite Mighty Man and bounced up and down with him vigorously, I drank some Red Red Wine, I had many Reasons to be Cheerful, I got an unplugged 10cc which was the best I have ever experienced, heard some Cosmic Comedy (always good for a laugh there) and the Dreadzone was awesome, in short I had a smile on my face all weekend.
The final morning though, was another tale and a woeful one at that. The erection of M2SF had to be reduced, I'd been shown the best way to do it and, to be honest, I am pretty adept at dealing with erections, I've been doing so since, oh, about the time I was in the Girl Guides – perhaps even since the time I was escorted out of Belchamps, the Boy Scouts camp by Brown Owl - maybe because I should have been in Guidewoods next door at the time.
Ok, I do remember how to do it, don't I? It's easy peasy, there's even films about it, for some they are a kind of ritualistic masochistic porn, but like all porn, it ain't like real life!
Unclip the hood, rip off the strips to the left, stand on the box and gather it in. A couple of folds, a smooth twist and M2SF is back safely contained and zipped until the next time right?
Wrong!
Oh they make it look so easy. I gathered M2SF in, he pinged out, I leapt to grab the escaping rod, it went up between my legs only to pop up as proud as it was before.
I wrestled M2SF to the ground, pinned him with a foot and a knee, reached behind me like in some odd game of Twister to grab the recalcitrant protrusion, pulling it up and over, only to have the other side ping out again and, before I knew it, he was back up to full erection, waving proudly in the gentle breeze.
I tried several more times and variations but always with the same 2 second erection result and I was beginning to get a little exasperated. This two second random erection malarkey was getting a little tedious, after all, there is only so long that a woman needs one around and this was becoming too demanding for sure. This was becoming almost nightmarish, with one part going down then another popping back up again like some demented priapic cephalopod. There was a chap doing his morning yoga not far away, he was obliviously serene and obviously getting in touch with his inner tantra whilst my inner child was trying not to have a tantrum.
Ok, who is actually in charge here – me or you buster? (Meekly inside I was beginning to wonder...).
Right I muttered under my breath to M2SF, I've got rope in the car, if I can't get you finally under control I'm going to lasso you and bundle you away until I can sort you out properly. Mmmm, I have rope in my car – who'd have thought it.....
Rope in hand now and M2SF is still fully erect, gently waving in the breeze, untethered and free at last, a little like Mr Blobby though, defiant and unrepentant, almost challenging me to conquer him.
I grappled with him once again, managing to reduce him to only twice his unerected size and, roping him with more yards of hemp than you'd ever seen used in a fetish club, I bundled him into the car, slamming the car door firmly in case he escaped again. He did expand slightly, just enough to obscure my rear view mirror but that was a minor consideration in the grand scheme. My plan was to take him back to the girls who know him so well to enlist their help in getting his proportions back to a manageable size. They did it so easily, surely I could too.
Back into Essex and to his former home, I explained the situation, wrestled him out of the car again and bundled him inside but not before he pinged forcefully against my collarbone in revenge – actually drawing blood and leaving a deeper welt than I've ever received from the end of a bullwhip. We did it though, between the three of us, we got him back under control and I had two lessons in how to break him down properly. 2 seconds to erect, 15 seconds to reduce. I'll know next time....later this week!
Pop-up tents, getting them up is great, getting them down - it's all in the correct pressure and twist, but they're easy when you know how.
Edited Mon 19 Jul 10, 9:45 PM by Caracal
| 19 Jul 10, 9:11 PM candle_in_the_wind UK(RM), 5 yrs |
They do say, it's all in the wrist action !!
The Gene Pool could use a little Chlorine | |
| 19 Jul 10, 9:18 PM epona74 UK(SL), 7 yrs |
*grins and giggles* Fabulous write-up! I still want one! Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost) | |
| 19 Jul 10, 9:22 PM Scorchio 7 yrs |
Ok I'll admit I'm not quite sure what this blog is on about, but it made me smile anyway.
And that deserves kudos in my book | |
| 19 Jul 10, 10:16 PM Kinky_Vidushaka UK(SW), 3 yrs |
Had me fooled til the end.  Well presented as well. There is a fine line between sanity and insanity. I have a foot firmly planted either side of that line | |
| 19 Jul 10, 10:45 PM Stallen 6 yrs |
I find them easy peezy, you just need to practice more and memorise the video.  nice review, it made for a good read, sounds like you had a fun time. Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into a giant oak! Bury a sheep, and nothing happens but decay!" —George Bernard Shaw Edited 19 Jul 10, 10:48 PM by Stallen | |
| 14 Sep 10, 9:47 AM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs      |
Woe is me with a head hung in shame (and snorting with suppressed hysterical giggles) - I was defeated again last weekend so back to Lakeside I went for help and more lessons - the staff remembered me..... The nice lady with the whip. | |
| 26 Sep 10, 1:31 PM Caracal UK(SS), 5 yrs |
Third time lucky - I won and the priapic octopus subsided gracefully with just a smooth hold, a clamp between my knees and a twist of the wrist. Can't get the bag over it fully but heyho, it's in the boot! The nice lady with the whip. | |
| 17 Jul 11, 3:01 PM Monkey_Wench UK(B), 20 mths    |
Laughed my blinking socks off!
Only cos I haven't got one though. x . | |
| 17 Jul 11, 4:35 PM geoff917 UK(CO), 3 yrs |
Yep, me too, well done@Caracal! "In order to finish first, you must first finish".....Roger Penske |
