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What kind of relationship do you know? (9)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

Sun 18 Jul 10, 6:14 PM
subRaphy
UK(NW), 3 yrs

Hi everyone!

Well, I was wondering if my expectations of a BDSM relationship are common on the scene. So, I would like to ask you few questions, especially to the sub guys:

If your girlfriend is Dom:

-Would you like she dominate only you or also other people?

-Would you like she's a dominatrice with you, and a submissive girl with other, especially with other girls? (Well, would you like she's bi?)

-Would you like she takes the double role of a Mistress and a grilfriend, or do you prefer have a classic girlfriend for have sex and vanilla stuff, and beside a Mistress for only dominate you(no sex)?

Well, so, I would like just to know if lot of people have the same desire, or if mine are different.

Thank you

R

Edited Sun 18 Jul 10, 6:18 PM by subRaphy

20 Jul 10, 4:04 PM
BigOldHector
UK(DE), 10 yrs

subRaphy wrote:
What kind of relationship do you know?

Hi everyone!

Well, I was wondering if my expectations of a BDSM relationship are common on the scene. So, I would like to ask you few questions, especially to the sub guys:

If your girlfriend is Dom:

-Would you like she dominate only you or also other people?

-Would you like she's a dominatrice with you, and a submissive girl with other, especially with other girls? (Well, would you like she's bi?)

-Would you like she takes the double role of a Mistress and a grilfriend, or do you prefer have a classic girlfriend for have sex and vanilla stuff, and beside a Mistress for only dominate you(no sex)?

Well, so, I would like just to know if lot of people have the same desire, or if mine are different.

Thank you

R

For me, definitely by far a mistress & girlfriend in the same person is the way to go. Essentially and FLR, in which I defer to her in all aspects of both the D/s relationship and everything shared in life in general. And preferably a relationship that isn't compartmented into "kink" and "vanilla" times and roles but where everything is integrated in a more natural continuum, so that varying levels of kink and protocol from no more than a subtle undercurrent most of the time to full-on "sessioning" are dictated purely by the mood and circumstances of the moment.

My ideal is monogamy, both in vanilla and kink, though in practice I'd be fairly OK about the mistress/gf having some kink life outside the relationship so long as she has the sensitivity not to make that compromise or impinge on anything of too personal a significance.

As for the bisexual thing (not that my mistress is one). I don't think that would bother me much. I only have a very limited knowledge of bisexual women, so what I know may not be typical. But my distinct impression is that to a bisexual woman love and sex in same-sex and hetero relationships are rather different in a way that makes them not necessarily competing or interchangeable. So unless the woman was bi but very predominantly lesbian in terms of emotional attachment, it wouldn't carry quite the same worrying prospect as say, being naturally monogamous having a "poly" partner.

As for a serious relationship partner who "switched" and was submissive to others, that is a thought I would feel very uncomfortable with.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

Edited 20 Jul 10, 7:40 PM by BigOldHector

21 Jul 10, 4:41 PM
subRaphy
UK(NW), 3 yrs

Hi Plinth_For_Her_Feet!

Thank you for your answer!

It is very complete.

R

21 Jul 10, 4:51 PM
houseproudest
VN, 4 yrs

i would go along with this too..i need the loving relationship part as much as the femdom lifestyle.. the ultimate goal for me is both...one without the other isnt something i would be interested in personally..

Plinth_For_Her_Feet wrote:
subRaphy wrote:
What kind of relationship do you know?

Hi everyone!

Well, I was wondering if my expectations of a BDSM relationship are common on the scene. So, I would like to ask you few questions, especially to the sub guys:

If your girlfriend is Dom:

-Would you like she dominate only you or also other people?

-Would you like she's a dominatrice with you, and a submissive girl with other, especially with other girls? (Well, would you like she's bi?)

-Would you like she takes the double role of a Mistress and a grilfriend, or do you prefer have a classic girlfriend for have sex and vanilla stuff, and beside a Mistress for only dominate you(no sex)?

Well, so, I would like just to know if lot of people have the same desire, or if mine are different.

Thank you

R

For me, definitely by far a mistress & girlfriend in the same person is the way to go. Essentially and FLR, in which I defer to her in all aspects of both the D/s relationship and everything shared in life in general. And preferably a relationship that isn't compartmented into "kink" and "vanilla" times and roles but where everything is integrated in a more natural continuum, so that varying levels of kink and protocol from no more than a subtle undercurrent most of the time to full-on "sessioning" are dictated purely by the mood and circumstances of the moment.

My ideal is monogamy, both in vanilla and kink, though in practice I'd be fairly OK about the mistress/gf having some kink life outside the relationship so long as she has the sensitivity not to make that compromise or impinge on anything of too personal a significance.

As for the bisexual thing (not that my mistress is one). I don't think that would bother me much. I only have a very limited knowledge of bisexual women, so what I know may not be typical. But my distinct impression is that to a bisexual woman love and sex in same-sex and hetero relationships are rather different in a way that makes them not necessarily competing or interchangeable. So unless the woman was bi but very predominantly lesbian in terms of emotional attachment, it wouldn't carry quite the same worrying prospect as say, being naturally monogamous having a "poly" partner.

As for a serious relationship partner who "switched" and was submissive to others, that is a thought I would feel very uncomfortable with.

Pavement? Wowee Zowee!

21 Jul 10, 5:44 PM
Bellatrix_LeStrange
UK, 6 yrs
My Domme is also my girlfriend, and she does play with others, or service topping as we call it ;-)

M: Its only a baby needle, you wont know the difference. I am not a one dimensional needle obssessed domme...
J: Its going to be about sutures isnt it?
http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/westlondonmunch...
Live, Love, Be, Believe

26 Jul 10, 12:24 AM
subRaphy
UK(NW), 3 yrs

Hi!

Thanks for your answer.

Well, I don't know why, me, I need to have a girlfriend exactly like me, which mean sub with other women. I want share with her our common devotion for a Mistress.

I will not feel comfy if I touch my mistress like if she was my equal by kissing and hugging. It's why I prefer let her above us(me and my grilfriend) and keep the kissing's stuff for my girlfriend, with who we have the same common interest, and we worship the same Mistress.

Well, anyway, don't worry if it make sense only for me

See ya

S

26 Jul 10, 2:55 PM
Degenerate*
UK(M), 4 yrs

subRaphy wrote:
Hi!

Thanks for your answer.

Well, I don't know why, me, I need to have a girlfriend exactly like me, which mean sub with other women. I want share with her our common devotion for a Mistress.

I will not feel comfy if I touch my mistress like if she was my equal by kissing and hugging. It's why I prefer let her above us(me and my grilfriend) and keep the kissing's stuff for my girlfriend, with who we have the same common interest, and we worship the same Mistress.

Well, anyway, don't worry if it make sense only for me

See ya

S

This sounds like a lovely relationship structure. As a dominant I would enjoy that set up I think, with the right people.

All kinds of relationships are possible with the right people. Sometimes the more unusual a relationship style is, the harder it can be to find others who share the same goals, but nonetheless possible if you get yourself out there and meet nice people.

De

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26 Jul 10, 3:05 PM
epona74
UK(SL), 7 yrs
For me personally, I want to be in a girlfriend relationship with my Domme.

I want the ultimate (apparent) dichotomy of her beating me and then kissing and cuddling me, ALL because she loves me and loves doing that to me, and because I love her and love her doing it to me.

I'm going to turn your bisexuality question around, as I'm a lesbian...where I prefer to be in an essentially monogamous relationship, I have no problem with my gf being bisexual, and if she had another sub of either gender (or even a Dom), it wouldn't necessarily preclude us having a relationship. It's a "wishlist" thing rather than a hard limit.

Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost)
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new (A. Einstein)
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius

31 Jul 10, 8:53 PM
not_lost_still_lady
UK(PE), 18 mths


All I want is one man who will be everything to me; Master, lover, protector, father figure to my children, companion, friend.

Not much to ask is it?

"Hit me" said the masochist. "No" said the sadist.

31 Jul 10, 10:10 PM
chaochou
UK(CH), 3 yrs


Plinth_For_Her_Feet wrote:

For me, definitely by far a mistress & girlfriend in the same person is the way to go. Essentially and FLR, in which I defer to her in all aspects of both the D/s relationship and everything shared in life in general. And preferably a relationship that isn't compartmented into "kink" and "vanilla" times and roles but where everything is integrated in a more natural continuum, so that varying levels of kink and protocol from no more than a subtle undercurrent most of the time to full-on "sessioning" are dictated purely by the mood and circumstances of the moment.

Exactly that for me, too.

All I'd add is that I find it easier to visualise where I'd like to start than where I'd like to end up.

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