Yes, Sir! Really? (92)

I have an issue with the whole "Sir" thing. I personally find that it feels a little contrived (I may be lynched for that), a little over used. I can still feel great respect for someone, in fact I tend to have more respect when I use the person's real name. Is it not showing greater deference if one submits fully whilst still addressing you by your name? I still know absolutely who is in control, it goes much further than a title. I don't have a problem with authority so it doesn't come from that, it feels very odd to me. Perhaps as time goes on it will feel more usual. It reminds me of being at school and addressing my male teachers and there were not a great many that I had much regard for.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way? How was it for subs in the beginning? Or why the use of Sir / Mistress / Master is so important to you from a D or an s position?

I'm not talking about those who expect "Sir" from the first mail or introduction but within a relationship.

Sorry if this is a topic that has been addressed many times before.

*Edited for grammatical errors.

"Resigning oneself to suffering from having one's freedom forcibly taken away results in producing a greater sense of pleasurable pain."

Edited Thu 15 Jul 10, 7:53 PM by entortiller

That said being called sir without feeling it is earned by trust and respect feels somewhat cheapened to me.

"No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master." Hunter S. Thompson

Edited 15 Jul 10, 2:15 PM by Citizen912

I quite agree. The "Sir" thing is overestimated.

So I'll settle for something much simpler:

"O Thou Who Art The Light Of The Land; Holy Master, Impeccable Ruler, Giver Of Joy, Harvester Of Pain And Pleasure, Lord Of The Unspoken Desires, Emperor Of The Starlighted Night Of The Soul; Bless Me With Thy Merciful Attention, Here, Now, As I Shamefully Whimper In My Existential Unworthiness, Before Thou, O Lord, O Master; I Beg Thee To Shine Upon Me, Wretched And Miserable Creature Of The Earth, Seeking But Thy Approval."

Or just "Sir" among friends.

I don't have a problem with being called "sir" or any other dominant appellations, but it is still very unfamiliar and so I'm with you on the first bit. It probably will feel more natural as time goes on and I'd suspect that if I ever find myself in a dedicated D/s relationship that would help the process along as well. And I'm still plenty young enough to remember having to call my teachers "sir" as well, so that probably doesn't help.

Oh, well, that's easy. Tucker's Law: If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up because that cunt's a cunt. I've got that embroidered on a teatowel at home.

She uses my name very sparingly. I use hers (and her special name) all the time.

I don't need a title. But, once in a while, usually in the depths of something or other, she'll call me something that brings home what i mean to her - and i glow.

Please, thank you and excuse me are much more important than day-to-day titles.

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

It's ritualistic. If it has meaning to the two people involved, then it's a healthy and progressive ritual in the relationship. If it only has meaning to one of them and is a game to the other, then it's empty.

In my life, I'm sort of an authority anarchist. I refuse to call anyone by a title of respect - police officers, judges, bosses, et al. It's their name, or "you" or pretty much nothing at all. So to use the word "Sir" with my guy is a way of showing him that our relationship steps completely outside the boundaries of my normal interactions with people and gives him a concession no one else gets from me. It's symbolic of our power exchange.

I agree that it can seem to be overused and therefore rendered meaningless, but that's just me looking at other people's ways of exchanging power and knowing that their way isn't typically going to be my way. But that's also me acknowledging that I'm not inside those relationships and have no ideas which rituals those couples (or groups) cherish.

love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon

I use it as a sign of endearment to him, and because he is my Master and I love that and revel in that he is...and using the word gives me a wonderful feeling of ownership.

But I certainly wouldn't call anyone else sir or Master...there is only one man who gets that the rest are tom dick or harry. And I dont think I could use sir as I just dont like it. I have used it too long in my retail career to find anything remotely endearing about it....to me sir is impersonal and used cos I dont know the customers name...funny how a simple thing like using it at work can taint it elsewhere.

Like the OP though when I first dipped my toe in I felt it to be very contrived...but now I see the beauty in calling him My Master

Tazallie
Getting there!

Edited 15 Jul 10, 2:49 PM by tazallie

I get "My bwute" (thanks @TozaScarlet) and "My bastard".

I like these.

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

(I'm not good at making up other terms of endearment!)

I'm probably aiming more for the latter in future relationships, but I connect nothing else, really, to that word - calling my teachers Sir was plenty long enough ago for it not to remind me of that .

tl:dr - I like it, but I'm not attached to it and could happily do without too.

i love that He likes it as much as i do, it is Oour dynamic and it works for Uus. (i expect there to be a thread on upper and lower case speak soon lol!)

hugs x

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master." D. H. Lawrence
www.greenwichmunch.co.uk

It's all about headspace for me, so using an honourific simply helps put me in the right place mentally.

But it is very much dependent on the person. I'd only ever use it with someone I'm in a D/s situation with (I bottom to friends, and they don't get that, it wouldn't be right), and only if it's approved by THEM. I'd never just assume and use it. That said, it did once slip out at the beginning of a relationship when we hadn't yet discussed honourifics, and I immediately apologised...I was told it was perfect, because of the situation we were in at the time, and so it went from there!

If it's not something you're comfortable with, don't use it...unless of course your Master/Dominant/whatever insists, in which case...well...lol!

Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost)
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new (A. Einstein)
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius