Posted by submissive3
on Wed 14 Jul 10, 10:16 AM to submissive3's blog.
I am writing this, having spent a number of weeks trying to understand myself, and why I have consistently let so many people down!
For a long time, I simply acted out my compulsive fantasist nature by engaging in conversation with dommes on this site, discussing how I might be of use to them. I posted a thread stating that I was seeking a domme to buy shoes for. On a number of occasions, when verious ladies were kind enough to contact me and give up their time, I disrespected them because I did not follow through in reality. This continued for a number of months, and I feel totally ashamed of myself.
I recognise that I have conducted myself in a totally inappropriate and unacceptable manner and I am sincerely apologetic to all those who gave me the benefit of the doubt. The path of submission is often bumpy, and for me, I have at times struggled to accept who I am. It seems all too easy to fantasise over the web, and get ones kicks and then forget about anything that was ever discussed. I think on reflection this was my way of trying to satisfy my basic needs without having to face up to who I am.
Striking up the right balance between the vanilla and fetish world has certainly proven difficult for me, and I need to embrace the fact that I am a submissive, rather than being ashamed of it. In turn, simply acting out my fanasies online may not be wrong, but it is when engaging with dommes under false pretenses.
I have spent much time recently trying to get a handle on what it is that I am seeking in order to be truly happy. I think this has been one of the toughest phasses of my life, but I believe I have started to turn the corner and things seem more clear now. With that being said, I need to continue working on myself, looking to get more involved in the BDSM community, meeting new people in person etc. I also think it is vitally important that I approach the scene in exactly the same way that I would the vanilla world. In other words, my unacceptable behaviour on here is miles apart from my behaviour in the business/ vanilla world.
Ironically I pride myself on being moral and having integrity, and yet here I am, writing an apology note to all those who I have deeply hurt and offended over the years.
I do not expect forgiveness or anything at all in fact. This is merely about me addressing my problems and being honest with who I am. I believe that I will find happiness within myself, and will come to terms with who I am.
Thank you so much for reading this, and if you were one of the many that I upset, I can only apologise once more. No matter what problems I had, there was no excuse for this, particularly as I have always been a believer that you treat people how you expect them to treat you.
I would finish by saying that I would like to close this chapter of my life, under the profile name of submissive3 and start afresh, looking to rebuild my life and proving to others that I am making positive changes. With that being said, I have created a new profile which I may only use sparingly until such time that I am ready to develop new relationships on IC.
Thanks again and sorry.
submissive3
| 14 Jul 10, 10:21 AM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs     |
Just to give you a heads up, you're breaking the AUP by not linking to that other profile on your current one. XxX | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:24 AM submissive3 6 yrs |
Oh sorry, the new profile name is stilettoslave. I will update my profile to reflect this. | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:28 AM submissive3 6 yrs |
Sorry, can you please tell me how I can do this? | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:31 AM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
Months? You have been doing this for years. It was several years ago when you were trying to persuade me to accept a credit card so that I could spend your money. You also promised shoes, furs and cash and despite my reluctance and misgivings you almost had me convinced you were so persuasive and desperate. Whilst chasing me you told another member on here (cozisaidso) that you don't deal with PDs because they are fake and prefer lifestyle dommes because they do it from enjoyment. You say whatever you think the domme wants to hear. You are fantastic at manipulator, very very persuasive and very talented at lying. Whatever it takes to get whatever pathetic little kicks you need. People like you don't change. People like you are great with apologies but you don't really mean it. The fact is people are wising up to you and your games and you realise your credit is running out. You can change your profile, you can change your username but you can't change your face or your real character. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness Edited 14 Jul 10, 10:34 AM by Lady_Anna_Bradford | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:38 AM AngelFingers1 UK(CH), 2 yrs |
As far as I recall I dont think you have ever contacted me.
However, I, probably like most lifestyle dommes been plagued by timewasters and keyboard fantasy subs, promising everything from the keys to their house to their undying devotion!!
Many are easy to spot a mile away and so have been patronised and used as mild amusements...but several have got under my radar and wasted precious time which I could have been having real time with genuine people. I'm sure this is all bread and butter to IC members. However at least your post gives me some hope that just perhaps one or two of the timewasters have actually learned something from their behaviour and have "grown" and can move on to more enlightened, consensual and worthwhile d/s pursuits. However, that's not to say that if I get my hands of any of them in the future....trembling arse and legs will be the least of their worries ;>)) Anything but ordinary | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:40 AM submissive3 6 yrs |
Yes that is correct and I am truly sorry. It seems like months to me but it has been years. There is no excusing my behaviour so I will not even try.
| ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:48 AM Ama_Sidero UK(GU), 7 yrs      |
That was a nice post. I wasn't one of those you deceived, thankfully, so they might not be so forgiving. You say, though, that you don't expect it anyway. It is as easy to type an apology as it is to make false promises. Only time will tell - you will need to prove yourself even more now. But I am sure you can do it. Playing on the internet is, indeed, the easiest way to get the kicks, and it seems "innocent" enough to a lot of people when, in reality, it isn't. Thankfully you seem to have realised that and now can get on with life in the real world. It isn't easy to come to terms with yourself and it is a huge step. Good luck with your journey and all the best to you. Life may not be the Party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well Dance! - Anon | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 10:54 AM Ms_Tytania 7 yrs |
Woah, the amount of fapping potential in Lady anna's scolding must have taken you by surprise, submissive3. All your Christmas came at once, eh? Wank to all the attention while it lasts, you lucky, lucky boy.
Cock teaser to the Gentry. | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 11:07 AM submitman1 UK(SS), 6 yrs |
I do from time to time sit and wonder why i read so much aboout time wasters and at the same time take what is said with a pinch of salt. Having now read through the replies i feel the need to apologise for my cynicism and naivety, it is no wonder that genuine people have so much trouble in meeting other genuine people when individuals like this have lead so many a merry dance of deceit. It all seems so pointless and so completely unnecessary, i wish you no harm but do hope you go away. I maybe in the gutter but I'm looking at the stars | ||
| 14 Jul 10, 11:12 AM the1whoserves UK(DN), 6 yrs |
seems like the only way to put actions to your words is to get out there and meet real people in the scene,, if you have wasted their time with your promises they will with every right refuse to have anything to do with you,, i know only too well what its like to be let down,,it hurts,,so get out there meet people tell them your tales if you wish or start from scratch a with a clean slate and hope that you really are what your profess to be,, |
